Awaening

I remember my first time with a woman. I don't know how many of you do but it's crystal clear in my mind. I was a late bloomer to say the least. Well at least when it came to being a lesbian and coming to terms with my sexuality. I didn't realize what I'd been feeling towards women was attraction until I was nearly twenty-two years old. After I came to the understanding, it took me another two years to accept it.

Shortly after my twenty-fourth birthday I decided I was ready to be me. I was not the type to come out with my rainbow flag waving proudly three feet ahead of me, announcing my gayness with my name as though they were merged and being a lesbian was all that I am. I was just a bit too reserved for that.

Instead, I made subtle changes that allowed me to feel in control all the way through. I told my family first; it seemed the right thing to do. The most important people in my life should definitely hear the words straight out with no sugar coating. I obsessed about it. I lost ten pounds in a month worrying about it. Finally I forced myself to bite the bullet. To my surprise and tremendous relief, everyone took it well and I felt blessed to not be ostracized.

The less dramatic changes came easier as time went on. I didn't stop myself from looking at women when in the company of friends or co-workers. I no longer pretended to have a boyfriend, stopped feigning an interest in going on blind dates or being hooked up with the neighbor's nephew. When approached by men I simply replied 'I'm gay' unafraid of who might hear.

Eventually the gossip mill served its purpose and everyone at the office knew. No one asked directly though. It was wonderful at first. I felt unburdened, liberated, completely free. As the days went along I began to despair. If by chance, I offend anyone out there reading, please accept my most sincere apology beforehand. I was quite naïve about some things and downright ignorant about others. My experience with gay women was extremely limited. Or at least my experience with women that I was aware were gay. From what I could recognize as a lesbian, they were all hard butch women.

I didn't know anything about the dynamics of lesbianism. I had no examples other than the obviously recognizable butches I'd seen, to draw from. I didn't where to go to find other gay women, and if I did, how to approach a woman. I was a wreck with the weight of my confusion.

As it goes someone came into my life just when she was supposed to. Her name was Denise and she was gorgeous. Modelesque but not unhealthy looking. Curves in all the right places, dark chocolate skin that glowed with a smoothness I'd never seen off camera. I was immediately drawn to her but interestingly enough I found no sexual attraction. We hit it off quickly. Denise was the first one to ask me pointedly if I was into women. I told her yes and she said, "Good. I'm glad I'm not the only femme in the building. I was beginning to worry I'd have to fend off all the groveling butches alone."

I was floored. She was being so candid, yet I didn't fully understand what she was saying. What was a femme? And was she categorizing me as one? Well naturally, I was embarrassed at the prospect of having to reveal my ignorance to this woman. I mean, I was nearly twenty-five! Still, my mama always said a closed mouth don't get fed and my curiosity was eating me alive. So I screwed up my courage and the next time we went outside for a smoke break I asked her.

To my surprise and relief she was very understanding. "Honey, you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age. I didn't know a thing." She smiled at me then. Denise was my education. She explained the typical types of lesbians, told me I was femme and removed a worry I didn't even know I'd housed when she informed me it wasn't necessary for me to change my style of dress or behavior to be accepted in the gay community.

You would think things would have progressed quickly for me from there. I'm an attractive woman if I do say so myself. Regardless of that fact and the fact that I had enough offers to keep me flattered but not overwhelmed, it wasn't until I was on the cusp of my twenty-eighth birthday when I finally met the woman who drew me in, made me want to take the plunge. I'd been telling myself I was being extra choosey because it was such an important step. The truth was I had moved in with fear. It was comfortable enough for awhile but sexual frustration began to manifest itself. By the time I'd struggled my way up the corporate ladder into a nice corner office with a personal assistant, I'd also earned myself a reputation as a hard nosed bitch. Hey, you try going twenty-seven years without satisfying sex, see how you do.

Just as I was to the point where I was entering nervous breakdown candidacy, she came into my world and I knew I would be changed because of it. Her name was Jada Montgomery. She was quite simply the most gorgeous being I have ever seen. She was, by today's standards, what would be called androgynous. Or, if she were a man, metrosexual. Five feet eleven inches tall, two hundred very well proportioned and amazingly toned pounds of sexy ass woman.

She was in town for six months heading a new advertising project. The company was giving its image a major overhaul. We didn't have much cause for interaction except for the monthly department head meetings. I entered the conference room to the buzz of conversation surrounding the fact that the CEO of the company was there in person. Usually his personal assistant sat in on these meetings because he considered himself far too important to have to bother. Speculation was that the ad genius the company had reportedly spent an exorbitant amount of money to secure was very much worth Daniel Schuemaker rescheduling his tee time at the country club. I took my seat and began looking over my notes. People assembled themselves quickly and I knew Dan must be fast approaching. He began speaking as soon as he cleared the door. "Ladies and gentlemen, as you all know we're making some big changes for the coming year. A large part of this initiative is going to take place in our advertising and public relations. I'd like to welcome Jada Montgomery to our family. She's signed on for the next six months." He continued, but I'd looked down the table as most everyone present had, and seen her. Everything else became a humming in the background; white noise to be tuned out.

Our eyes met for a moment and her lips curved up slightly. Androgynous really just isn't a flattering enough term. She wore a simple, classy Jones of New York suit with a deep red blouse beneath the jacket. Her jet black hair hung long around her shoulders in a pin straight cascade, her eyes were a dark mysterious brown and I felt for that one breathless moment that she could read my very soul. Mocha brown skin, smooth and healthy.

With just the one look at her, I knew with every fiber of my being that I had to have her. The meeting continued and I somehow managed to drag my attention back to what my boss was saying. By the time we were dismissed I was feeling very antsy. It was as though I could feel her gaze on me but every time I looked at her, her attention was focused elsewhere. The meeting eventually broke up but I didn't get a chance to speak with her as several males and a couple of females had surrounded her. I left the room feeling depressed yet aroused. The rest of my day was spent analyzing the reaction I had to her and plotting how I might get myself in her company again.

As it turned out all my ruminations were not necessary. I left my office a little after ten that night. The elevator chimed and the doors slid open a moment after I'd pressed the call button. There she was. All alone. I'd love to be able to tell you that I offered a sassy smile and sauntered in to flirt shamelessly before having her take me back to her place and fuck my brains out, but that would be strictly a fantasy rendition. No, much to my utter humiliation, I froze.

The doors started to close but she reached out and stopped their progress. "Going down?" She asked me. Two simple words spoken in a lovely voice with a slight accent I was unable to place; yet somehow they sounded so dirty and provocative to me.

"Um, yeah. Sorry it's been... a really long day." I managed as I picked up my briefcase and stepped timidly in. It was a weak excuse at best to explain away my obviously odd behavior but I could think of nothing better. I could barely think at all.

Up close she was even more devastating. She towered above me and smelled divine. Her high slashed cheekbones spoke of Native American heritage; her eyes were even more hypnotic. Her smile was dazzling and could have lit up a room but what most drew my attention was her lips. Full, sexy; they looked very soft. I wondered what they'd feel like pressed against mine, sliding over various parts of my body, wrapped around my now pebble hard nipples.

It wasn't until she spoke that I realized I'd been staring stupidly. "I know we were in the meeting together but I didn't catch your name." God, her voice was like a caress. I thought for sure I was losing my mind. To make matters worse, I'd forgotten my name. I don't know if any of you have ever been affected like I was but it was thrilling and disconcerting all at once. We'd traveled half way down the forty story building and she'd waited patiently, expectantly. My mind tried to regain control of itself. I knew I was fast losing my golden opportunity. 'Please.' I begged myself. 'Get it together!'

"Oh! Sorry, my name is Angela St. Laurent." I told her.

She shook my hand and I melted. "It's a pleasure." She said. Her grip was firm, her hands were slightly rough, the fingers long and tapered. I couldn't fight off the shiver that ran along my spine. She smiled again when I didn't let her hand go. I felt her thumb slide along my palm, then the doors opened and I came back to myself. We exited and I watched her leave the building with a, "See you around Angie." tossed over her shoulder.

I went home that night, berating myself the entire way there for my unsuave behavior. I had forsaken masturbation several months before because it was no longer satisfying, but the memory of Jada's hand coupled with the smolderingly seductive quality of her gaze was enough to have me requiring immediate release. The orgasms were phenomenal as I ran my hands over my small frame and imagined that it was her touching me. Each one was more breathtaking than the last and each one made me want more.

She consumed my thoughts. I found myself hoping to catch a glimpse of her at work, staying later than usual on the off chance I'd see her on the way out. Nothing. A week went by, then two, then four. She even denied me at the department heads meeting by having her assistant attend. Whatever she was doing the big bosses approved and they kept her busy.

The rumor mill worked overtime on her. It seemed I was the only one who even suspected she was gay. It was shortly before the two month mark that our paths crossed again. I'd closed the blinds on my office windows, turned off the overhead lights leaving just the soft glow of my desk lamp. It was late, I'd just finished my last expense report. As I sat in my chair, eyes closed letting the stress of the week slide off me before going home, there was a knock on the door and I was sorely tempted to ignore it. The knock came again and I finally relented. "Come in!" I called out.

The door opened and she stood in the entryway. I sat up straighter and wondered if I looked as ragged as I felt. My lipstick was gone I knew, chewed off through the course of the day and forgotten as work sucked me in. "I was hoping you were still here." She said in that butter smooth voice of hers.

"Yeah I was just finishing a report."

"Hmm. It's been a long week hasn't it?" She inquired watching me with those dark seductive eyes of hers. Euphoria was filling me and to this day I can't decide if it was from the knowledge that she was hoping I'd still be there or the simple fact that I was able to maintain my end of the conversation.

"Incredibly long."

"I saw your lights go out as I came around the corner. Do you want me to come in?" She didn't say 'Do you mind if I come in?' Not, 'Can I come in?' Do you want me to come in? I felt a rush of power in that moment. Hell yes I wanted her to come in! Looking at her I understood that she wanted me to say yes. I had the opportunity to be bold, to take what I wanted. So I did.

"Yes." I said.

She stepped in and closed the door behind herself. I distinctly heard the sound of the lock clicking into place. She tossed her jacket over the arm of the couch on the far wall. She walked with this sexy predatory confidence, her eyes locked onto me. I don't actually remember standing up; I just know that by the time she was in front of me I was on my feet. She'd worn loafers as usual and I had worn three inch heels so the height difference wasn't as dramatic. "You're really sexy Angie. I haven't been able to stop thinking about you." She said.

I couldn't speak, could barely breathe. It wasn't necessary. Her lips captured mine as her arms encircled my waist. And thank God for it because I'd have collapsed to the floor if she hadn't been holding me. The lips I had been dreaming of were now pressed against mine, nibbling gently, coaxing me to open up. Her tongue came out to play as she deepened the kiss. I never knew what an erotic thing kissing could be. My hands, which had been resting on her arms, moved up as the hunger I'd been struggling to keep a leash on, broke free. I had my fingers buried in her hair and I kissed her back with all the pent up passion of twenty-eight years.

I was pressed against the edge of my desk as she devoured my mouth. I could hear soft whimpering and it took me a few moments to realize it was me making the sounds. Her hands moved slowly along my sides and they left a trail of heat in their wake. My body was on fire. I'd never felt arousal like that before; never felt need like that. Just as her fingertips brushed the sides of my breasts her lips left mine and trailed along my neck. My eyes were closed and I was lost in sensation.

She bit gently on the pounding pulse point in my throat at the same instant her thumbs glided over my rigid nipples and my entire body seized up like a fist before releasing in a flood of sensation so intense I didn't have the voice to scream. I could only gasp as it flowed though me. I heard her groan against my skin and it served to prolong the orgasm. There's something indescribably hot about being with someone who is immersed in making you feel good.

She continued kissing down my neck and it wasn't until I felt the softness of her lips as they encountered the swells of my breasts over the top of my bra that I became aware of the fact that she'd unbuttoned my shirt. Her fingers were nimble as they deftly undid the fastening of my bra. My breasts spilled out into her hands filling them. She squeezed gently and I shivered. It was all so...naughty. My first sexual experience with a female and I was having it against my desk. Her touch inspired me to be nasty. I wanted to do anything she asked, right then, right there.

I watched her as she descended my body. My stomach muscles flexed as her tongue slid along the now exposed skin. She looked up at me, her brown eyes dark with lust and my already soaked panties grew even wetter. She crouched before me; her hands ran along my calves up my thighs beneath my skirt pushing the material up as they ascended. When my skirt was bunched around my waist, she brought her attention to the apex of my thighs. I saw her jaw clench as she got a firsthand look at how turned on she had me. She inhaled my scent deeply and I heard her groan again. She peeled my panties off and there was an anxious moment of embarrassment at being so completely exposed. Then her tongue, long, pink with a wicked point at the tip, came out and slid along the length of my opening, catching the juices that had accumulated there.

I have no words that can adequately describe the way it felt, no words that can even come close. My legs lost their ability to hold me up. Luckily Jada was more than capable. Her tongue moved inside of me and I could feel my walls clenching trying to pull it in deeper, trying to hold it there. She obliged pushing it in as far as it could go. I moaned. The kind of moan that you can't control, that comes from deep within and speaks far more than any words could about the depth of your enjoyment. I watched her work me into a frenzy, watched the way her tongue slid over me, the fullness of her lips wrapped around me and the visual sent me over the edge as much as the feeling. My head fell back as pleasure, sharp and oh, so incredibly sweet, shivered through me. All the while Jada continued her work. My hands gripped the edge of my desk for support as it worked it's way through me.

When it ended she pulled back and licked her lips while staring into my eyes. Jesus she was just so hot. All my fantasies regarding Jada Montgomery had taken place in a bed. This was completely unexplored territory, even in my imagination and I found the prospect of letting her have her way with me in my hard earned office extremely appealing. "You taste even better than I dreamed you would. I want to fuck you now." She said. My mind stuttered. Denise had told me all about strap-ons. She'd painted pictures of wildly enjoyable sex had with the use of toys but some part of me had never expected to experience it for myself. Still, as I said, she made me want to let her do whatever she wanted. So I nodded mutely not quite having gained my voice back.

She took my hand and led me to the couch. I was nervous but the excitement was much greater. She sat me down on the couch and stood before me. Eyes on mine, a small smile gracing those luscious lips, she watched me watch her undress. She unbuttoned her shirt and removed it to reveal breasts that were larger than I expected them to be considering how they appeared under her clothes. The bra was a plain black sports bra that supported her well without squishing them together so they looked like a single mass in the center of her chest. No her breasts were perfect. I wanted to see them but I didn't have that level of bold in me to ask.

Her hands moved down to the waist of her pants and I tore my gaze away from her chest. Her stomach was flat and very well defined. It was the stomach of someone who'd spent more time than I cared to think about honing it until the muscles stood out. She was the only woman I'd ever seen with a real six pack. I wanted to run my tongue over those sexy ridges but something held me frozen to the spot. She unbuttoned and unzipped her slacks as she stepped out of her shoes. I was surprised to see the boxer briefs when she dropped the pants. My eyes ran over the thick length of the piece she'd worn and it occurred to me that she had to have been wearing it at least part of the day. The idea that she had intended to fuck me, had come prepared, turned me on in a way I never would have expected it to.

"Put your feet up on the edge of the sofa." She commanded me. I did as told without even thinking about it. As soon as I had noticed the bulge between her legs I was riveted. I wasn't looking at her face but I heard the smile in her voice when she spoke again. "You like it." It wasn't a question. She told me what she saw on my face. I did like it. It wasn't necessary but I nodded anyway. She reached into the boxers and pulled the dildo out. It was thick, caramel colored and looked to be about seven inches long. I can't say I was completely sure I'd enjoy it. I'd never taken pleasure in sex with men and regardless of the fact that it wasn't attached to a man it was still the same equipment. I had a moment of real fear. Not fear of pain, but fear that my inability to enjoy what she was going to do to me would ruin the whole experience. Even in the middle of it I didn't really think I would ever get the chance to have her again.