Attracted To My Psychologist

I had been seeing my psychologist Irene for about a year. I was so shy when I first met her. It has taken me this long just to trust her. Unfortunately, I often need to talk about my past. I say unfortunately because it is a difficult past and fraught with lots of things that keep me from moving forward as a young adult. But over time I have come to realize that I feel very sexually attracted to my psychologist.

It's gotten to the point where I can't talk about anything intimate with her without becoming so aroused I have to fight to hide how hard I am breathing. Whenever I talk about sexual abuse with her I get so turned on that I start breathing really hard and I have to fight to suppress it so that she will not notice it.

When I talk about sexual abuse with Irene I no longer feel the pain but rather I see it as an opportunity to talk about anything sexual in front of her. This turns me on more than anything has ever turned me on in the past.

As time has gone on I have worked to be attractive to Irene. I try all kinds of things like being shy or charming or even playing the victim so she will try to rescue me. I guess it's all become a game to me but not to Irene. I can tell she is still trying so hard to help me improve my life and outgrow my troubling past.

Sometimes at the end of our sessions she asks me if i want a hug and holds her arms out for me to embrace her. Sometimes I feel her breasts against mine through all of our clothing. One time her hand accidentally brushed past my erect nipple and I almost moaned from the pleasure.

Recently, I began to talk about a time when I was attacked sexually by a man who was older than I was. I spoke of the very sexual things he did to me and as I talked about this I got more aroused. The truth is that the actual incident was not a good time or even sexually arousing. However, talking about it in front of Irene was a huge turn on. At one point I did cry a little and she came over and sat by me on the couch and held me while I cried.

One day I was talking about how my sexual drive had been destroyed by being repeatedly attacked and she scooted over to the couch and sat by me. I was wearing some loose fitting shorts. I was surprised when she ran her warm soft hand palm open against my skin up the outside of my shorts and along my thigh.

She said "You were so brave"

My clitoris was rock hard. I had to hold back my breathing. I think she thought my fast breathing was a flashback because she started to touch me more and tried to assure me that I was safe. While doing this she slid her hand over my knee and a little way into the inside of my thigh. My back arched a little at that point and I prayed she did not notice it. She asked me if I was uncomfortable.

I told her "Yes a little bit."

She asked if she could sit in front of me on the floor. I was taken aback but was curious and I told her that it was okay to do that. She got down on the floor and was sitting so that her line of sight was directly between my legs. She started to rub her hands all over my legs. At this point I could no longer control my breathing and I was clearly aroused. She told me that it was okay and that I could trust her. She pulled my legs apart a little and asked if I would show her what I meant when I said the man had grabbed my crotch. Her voice was so loving and soft. I told her that I was embarrassed.

"None of it was your fault. If you reacted sexually to him that is normal." Irene said

I was worried what she would think when she saw how drenched and horny my pussy was. I spread my legs and she ran her hand up the inside of my right thigh. As her hand reached the top of my leg her finger grazed my crotch. I moaned. She worked a little more at spreading my legs. She managed to pull my shorts aside so that at this point she could see my drenched underwear.

She groaned a little and said "I can see this rape was very deep for you."

I was so turned on that I could not talk. She pulled my underwear to the side so that my labia slid out into view. They were wet, red and swollen. She smiled. She reached out and grabbed on of my labia and tugged it open. I almost had an orgasm right then. She took the tip of her finger and ran it softly over my very hard and visible clitoris. My pussy contracted. She spoke in a very soft voice again as though she were caressing me with her voice.

She said "I see now what happened to you. We can work on this and get back your sexuality again"

I went home and masturbated every chance I had because I was so uncontrollably aroused.

The next week when I went to see Irene I was wearing a skirt with no panties. She asked me how i had been. I told her that I felt confused. She held my hand and talked softly to me.

She said "I know this is unconventional but you are special to me and I know that I can help you open up sexually and have a fulfilled life."

Her hand slid up over my knee and tickled my thigh. The heavy breathing started again and so did the wetness. This time she just sat on the floor in front of me without asking first. She rubbed her hands all over my legs again and tapped inside my knees indicating that she wanted me to spread my legs. I obliged. She looked delighted at seeing my bare crotch. She reached between my legs and ran the tip of her finger inside the lips of my engorged pussy. When her finger reached the head of my clitoris I bucked.

She said "Good, that is normal. Just let your body go."

At that she rubbed up over the top of my clitoris and I uncontrollably thrust my hips forward. I was clearly highly sexually aroused. She backed off a little and rubbed my thighs again. She came back and tickled the outside of my labia. They were so swollen that my vagina was visible between the gaps. I was wet. My pussy ached with desire.

I had no control over my body anymore. I could hear Irene breathing hard too now. She inserted two of her fingers into my vagina and I saw stars. The feeling of her knuckles sliding into the wetness was incredible. I was thrusting forward and wetting her so much that even her wrists were wet. I could not stop even if I wanted to. It was out of my control. My body was so aroused that I could not help but hump her hand. I could not believe what was happening. Once again she said

"That's it. There you go. Let all that pain out and let the pleasure overcome you."

That's all it took. I rubbed my pussy into her hand so hard that I was grinding my clitoris on her wrist bone. It was uncontrollable. I could not stop myself from grinding forward. I came so hard that I growled and grunted at the same time. She looked serious but pleased. She told me that I was making great progress and she was proud of me.

As I was still twitching from the intense orgasm she turned and pulled a towel out of her drawer and started wiping her hands on it. The towel was wet with my juice.

I started to feel embarrassed and even though I was still having orgasmic spasms on her couch I felt ashamed. She sat and watched me quietly while my body continued to jerk from the orgasm. My breathing was beyond ragged and I could not help but moan and she wasn't even touching me anymore. She was just watching. She looked extremely interested and compassionate.

Irene patted my knee and smiled. She got up off of the floor and said that we need to reschedule next week. She asked if I could come in a little early next week. I nodded because I was still unable to speak. I could hardly walk as I got up to leave her office. I looked back and there was a big wet spot on her couch. I said

"Oh I am so sorry. "

She ran her hand down my back.

"It's okay sweetie. It's perfectly natural and you will learn that."

I turned to walk out her office door and saw her next patient waiting in the waiting room. I felt jealous.