It had been a year since I'd seen her...months since we'd last spoken. When she walked up to me in the lobby of the hotel where our convention was being held all those feelings rushed back to me in an instant. The heat growing through my body. I tugged at my clothes and patted my hair as I watched her walk towards me with that easy gait. Her strides long and confident. Her clothing all black, just like always. Even her hair was so dark it appeared black. I recalled a conversation years ago when we'd first met...she'd explained why she always wore black. She felt more confident in it because it hid imperfections.
I laughed a little to myself...as if she could have any imperfections. I was somewhat taken aback by that fleeting thought. Apparently those old feelings were still there. That familiar fire I'd had for her for nearly 6 years. That blaze that extinguished any relationships I'd attempted with other women through the years. Always squelching them and our relationships because they couldn't stand up to her perfection.
She had haunted me from the very beginning. The first time we met, my heart was hers. I knew it was the same for her...and she freely admitted it was true. Although, she refused to even attempt to settle down with anyone. She had fling after fling with woman after woman. Breaking hearts left and right as she went. The torch she had for me was blazing...but she was wary of settling down. She could never wrap her brain around only having that one person for the rest of her life. Yet, she was miserable on a daily basis because of her constant parade of women.
She was nearly finished winding her way through the lobby...I could feel the electricity growing the closer she came to me. I patted at my hair again and hoped I looked better than the last time she saw me. I wanted her to remember this time above them all. She was nearly in front of me. I turned toward her and smiled softly at her. Her eyes lit up as she stopped inches from my body.
She was just a bit taller than me. Enough that when she was close I had to tip my head back to smile at her. I knew she loved that...it gave her a feeling of power. I tipped my head back to look up into her eyes. I smiled slowly and waited a moment before quietly saying 'hello Jes...it's been a long time. How have you been?' My heart was beating so hard I was sure she could see it coming through my chest. My nonchalance threw her off only for a moment. With us, it was always a cat and mouse game...she just wasn't used to being the mouse.
She seemed almost nervous as she stepped back just a tiny bit. It took her a moment before she stopped grinning at me and said 'don't I get a hug after all this time?!' I tipped my head to the side as if I had to think about it. She already knew I was going to take this bait...but it was still fun to play the game. She opened her arms and I gratefully fell into them, inhaling her scent and wrapping my arms around her waist.
Her arms were around my upper body. She always hugged me up high like that. I knew why...she loved my hair. Full of curls...so soft and bouncy. While hugging me she always managed to slide one hand under my hair and to the back of my neck. She would run her fingers through those curls once or twice. I loved it. The hair on my arms stood on end and I closed my eyes and sighed happily. Why couldn't she just settle down with me? How can it feel this perfect to me even when I know I can't be with her?
We finally broke the hug...remembering we were at a function for the company and not a personal reunion. Although...that personal reunion wouldn't be too much later. We chatted nervously about our lives. Catching each other up. She had just split up with a woman she'd been seeing for a month. It had been 3 months since I'd ended my last doomed relationship. I felt myself relax when I realized we were both single. I always hated hearing that she was with someone and how well it happened to be going. I knew better...I knew that she was just like me. Each relationship was doomed from the beginning because of how we felt towards each other. Even so, I hated hearing that someone else had her when I could not.
I had made up my mind before coming to the convention that if those sparks were still there after this many years...if those sparks were still there after going months at a time without speaking...if those sparks were still there after never having gone further than kissing each other-I was either leaving with her, or I was leaving and never going to see her again. Anything else was far too painful to deal with anymore. She was the love of my life and I was tired of being unhappy without her.
Time had played a big factor in my decision. We were both getting older and I was ready to settle down. If she was not ready by now, then she never would be and that was something I was preparing myself for...just in case. I wasn't sure where my courage was coming from, but I knew from the bottom of my being that this reunion was going to be different. I had a feeling that when I left here, I'd have my happiness.
We spent the rest of the day together. Visiting the required lectures and chatting over lunch in the hotel's dining room. I was amazed at how easily we picked up our relationship where we left it off. We have been doing this on again, off again dance routine for so long...I guess I shouldn't be shocked that by now it comes easily, although I always was.
Towards the end of the afternoon we began discussing dinner plans. She inquired as to whether I had dinner plans or would I care to join her. She didn't need to ask me to know what I was going to say but I had the feeling she was stepping carefully. She had an air of secrecy about her this time that I had never noticed before. Perhaps she had a plan of her own in store for me.
Before dinner we retired to our rooms to wash up and change. Knowing that I'd be seeing her this week, I had packed accordingly. I had assets to show off and I had picked outfits that would accentuate my positives. If I knew her like I thought I did, she would be in the palm of my hand once she saw me. My top was filmy and flowing and in a very flattering shade of pink. My skirt was just the right length to show off my legs. My feet slippered in black kitten heels. I pinned up my hair into a chignon and drew out a few tendrils to frame my face. When I stepped back to look myself over in the mirror I liked what I saw and I knew that Jes would like it, too.
There was a halting knock at my door...I drew in a quick breath and let it out slowly. That would be her, I was sure of it. I called out 'coming!' cheerily and rushed to open the door to let her into my room. I nearly gasped when I saw her. If I hadn't thought she was pure perfection before, I certainly did now. She was gorgeous in a black suit with a feminine cut to it. The jacket was tapered in at the waist and buttoned with one silver button. The shell under her jacket was silver as well. She was stunning.
I recovered quickly and grinned up at her. She returned the smile and motioned for me to turn around so she could see my outfit. I happily obliged and spun round slowly so she could take her time admiring me. When I looked back into her eyes I knew that our dinner plans were going to be tossed by the wayside. There was something in her face that showed me just how badly she wanted me.
She stepped into the room and closed the door behind her soundlessly and without breaking eye contact. I stayed where I was and willed her to come to me. She took the few steps that were between us and stood so close I could feel the heat coming from her body. I lifted my head to look up into her face and I smiled softly at her. She dipped her head slowly and kissed me. Her lips brushed lightly against mine at first then became more urgent. Her hands were grasping for the pin in my hair and I sighed into the kiss as my hair fell about my shoulders. Her hands were instantly in my curls, tangling themselves. Her kisses were feverish and hungry. She kissed me like she had been starving herself for this one moment. I moaned her name quietly and she growled deep in her throat. I was shocked, but turned on by her reaction.
Something was different this time. I had felt it before I saw her this morning. I knew I had a plan in motion but I didn't realize she had plans of her own. She began pushing me backwards slowly and I knew where she was heading. I reached out for her and pulled her closer by the lapels of her jacket. My fingers fumbling for the lone silver button. Once I found it, I had her jacket off in a few seconds and tossed it to the floor. We made our way to the bed and she gently pushed me down and climbed on top of me.
Our kisses were heated and passionate. Her hands were beginning to grow bolder and roam my body. She went slowly at first, as if she were savoring the feel of me beneath her. The more she touched me, the hotter I grew. My nails were digging into her back, pulling her closer still. Her hands were cupping my breasts as she broke our kiss to trail her lips down the side of my neck and to the tops of my breasts framed nicely in my low cut blouse. My body felt electric the moment she placed those first few kisses down the line of my cleavage. My nipples grew instantly hard as small diamonds under her palms. I felt her tongue dart out boldly and she drug it up and down the valley between my breasts.