Angela

The girl sighed as her tea colored eyes flicked over me; her contempt was hard to miss. I rolled my eyes pretending to be unaffected, although her obvious dislike cut to the quick and made my confidence waver. I wondered why she affected me so much, that was a thought I didn't want to examine too closely and so I pushed it aside. Moreover I wondered why I had ended up partnered with her and why teachers always seemed to think random pairing was going to change the social hierarchy of high school. This wasn't some feel good teen movie of the year, it was real life with real kids and real honest to goodness meanness.

Angela had transferred to Middlebrook High right at the beginning of the year and the rumors had started almost immediately. She dressed in loose jeans and wife beaters and more often than not she paired the outfits with timberland boots and fifty nine fifty hats. The way she dressed didn't detract from her beauty but as usual judgments were made based on her appearance. I didn't exactly understand that the other girls were threatened by her, plenty of other girls chose not to dress in tight jeans and short skirts, but they not all of them were labeled "Like that" apparently like that was just another way to say she was a lesbian. Maybe the rumors stuck because she never denied it, and silence was just as good as admission. I didn't know what to think, I mean I didn't spread the rumors but I didn't stop people from being openly and obviously rude to her either, so I guess I was no better than anyone else. I felt bad for her but not bad enough to even make an effort to befriend her.

The truth was she piqued my interest way too much for my comfort, I knew I was "like that." but I fought tooth and nail to keep who I was a secret. I didn't think I was strong enough to live my life with other people not liking me for a difference I couldn't change. God knows I'd tried to just be straight but it wasn't really working out. I'd had sex with guys before but I really couldn't see what the big deal was. Sex was uncomfortable and not at all pleasing but I dutifully threw myself into the not so roomy backseat of my boyfriend's father's car and faked my way through fifteen hellish minutes to affirm my straightness and uphold the image of what I perceived as normal. Being paired with Angie terrified me but the teacher had already announced there would be no compromising on our partnerships and so I was stuck.

We moved into our groups and waited to be assigned a topic. She just sat there staring at me I looked away because her eyes unsettled me. A moment before I turned away she winked at me. My heart raced and I looked everywhere but at her and nearly ran from the classroom when the dismissal bell rang. She caught up with me before I made it to my car she practically screamed my name causing a few students to stop and look. I could feel myself blushing as I whirled around to face her. "What the fuck do you want?" I demanded with a lot of unnecessary meanness in my voice. She looked like she would cry when I screamed at her, I had been embarrassed that people had seen her running after me screaming my name but I hadn't meant to hurt her feelings not really. I felt bad instantly as she stumbled over her words.

"You ran out so fast after class and we didn't set up a time to work on the project, we should really get started immediately there's a ton of work to do" She trailed off looking a little embarrassed as I stared at her.

"Around six should be fine you can come to my house I said briskly before walking away." I felt like a jerk and I knew I was acting like one but every time she was near me the attraction I felt for her was harder to ignore. The fact that I couldn't shake the feelings set me on edge but I'd have to at least try to control myself if we were going to work together.

She rang my doorbell at six on the dot. I'd been waiting by the door for her and although I would have denied it to the grave if asked I'd also gotten changed for her. I donned a pair of tight black boot-cut jeans and a tight sleeveless red turtleneck. I'd pulled my hair into a ponytail and even sprayed on a little perfume.

Opening the door and stepping back I let her enter. When she passed me I was surprised to catch a hint of flowery body splash. I assumed she wouldn't be the type to wear perfume and such. As soon as the thought crossed my mind I knew I was as bad as the kids who teased and taunted her. My judgments of her were based entirely on things I didn't know and had never taken the time to find out. She looked a little uncomfortable when I turned to her after shutting the door. I walked past her and headed to the kitchen expecting her to follow me she mumbled something but I didn't hear her. She was actually very soft spoken, I turned to ask her what she had said and she ran right into me. I would have fallen had she not grabbed my upper arms and held me upright. Her hands did nothing to steady my emotions or the kick of excitement in my stomach. For a split second I wanted to kiss her I even leaned slightly forward but then catching myself I pushed her away, much harder than necessary. "Get off of me." I told her. She looked ready to burst into tears and again I realized I was being a bitch. "Sorry" I mumbled "I didn't mean to push you like that."

"Listen I'm not going to attack you or anything." She was mad and she had every right to be but there was something else in her voice. If I'd known her better I would have been able to define that something as hurt.

I commenced our walk to the kitchen my books were already there. She seated herself in the seat farthest away from me and dropped her book bag on the ground. Taking out her social studies text book and a green five subject note book she began to read without a word.

"What are you doing?" I asked her

She gave me a cold look and the contempt was back in full force.

"Reading." She spat the word out as if it tasted bad inside her mouth.

"I know that, I meant if you're not planning to work with me then we need to split up the work so we each research different things."

"Me not work with you? You're the one who made it clear that you don't want to work with me, believe me you weren't my choice either."

"I'm sorry."

That was all I could say and I really was apologizing but she just rolled her eyes and said "whatever." However she did move closer to where my books were and shared the notes she had taken so far. It turned out Angela was an excellent note taker everything was all professional and organized she even had different topics in different colored ink. I knew she was good at sports because she was on every team except cheerleading but I'd never considered her academics.

We worked for an hour looking up facts about the agriculture and climate and economy of Brazil then she said that she had to go but she would look on the web for more stuff on the government and social system if I would look up agriculture and imports and exports. I agreed and walked her to the door, disappointed that she was leaving so early. I couldn't concentrate on research but I still worked and looked up sites because I didn't want Angela thinking I was a slacker who wouldn't do my part. As a matter of fact I researched much more than I needed or intended too.

When I finally got into bed, images of her popped into my mind. I entertained them briefly before pushing them aside like the proper little straight girl I claimed to be. The next day I found myself giddy I couldn't wait until last period. When I walked into the classroom I smiled at her genuinely happy to be in her presence again.

Amber, one of my longtime friends gave me a look as if to ask why I'd be smiling at Angela. I just shrugged and took my seat. When we got into our work groups Angela and I traded information. We had actually gotten a big head start on the project as every one seemed to just be beginning.

I tried to very hard to concentrate on highlighting and taking notes from the information I had printed off the internet but my eyes kept drifting to Angela. I watched her slender fingers holding her pen and noticed the thin gold rings she wore on both her thumbs plus the one she wore on the middle finger of the left hand. All of them were simple plain gold rings and beautiful on her delicate hands. Her nails were naturally long and I could see that she had shaped them but she wore no polish. It struck me then and there that her hands were sexy. That's all it took for my mind to go AWOL and instead of thinking about agriculture and how it affected the economy in Brazil I was suddenly thinking of all the things her hands could do.

She was clicking the tiny gold ring that pierced her tongue on her teeth. The sound drew my eyes from her hands to her face. She was staring at me hard and had probably asked me a question or something because she seemed to be waiting for an answer. "Pardon me?"

"I said do you want to come over either tonight or sometime this weekend?"

It was Friday night and I had a date with my boyfriend he was taking me to the movies but I knew we'd end up seeing some violent action packed movie. Joey really had far too much control over our relationship but I needed him to be my sickeningly macho hertro boyfriend to keep people from doubting my orientation. I knew right then and there I'd cancel the date and spend the evening with Angela. I told her tonight would be great. She said anytime after five would be fine with her. She only lived seven houses down so I didn't need directions.

After school I hung out with my friends at the local mall. They alternately grilled me about Angela and pitied me for getting stuck with her. I told them that, no she hadn't tried anything and that she was actually really smart and focused. Still they talked trash about her and said things that were beyond cruel. For a moment I wondered how I could have called these girls my friends for so long. What would they say if they knew about me? Would they shut me out and shove me in the halls or worse? I sort of wandered away from them giving some excuse about being sick to my stomach. Actually it wasn't far from the truth. I was sick, sick of not being like them and sick of wanting to be like them. I started to drive home when I realized that I had left my book bag at school. I circled back to the high school and went inside. The janitor was nice enough to open the classroom door for me so that I could get my bag. I was on my way out of the building when I heard someone calling me. I turned to see Angela running down the hall she had on a pair of small tight shorts that were part of the girls track uniform and a racer back tank top one of those kinds made for working out.

For the first time ever I saw her without a hat or bandanna. The front of her dark hair was braided into an intricate design of criss-crossing cornrows she had the rest pulled into a ponytail. I couldn't take my eyes off of her, I knew I was staring but I couldn't stop. She was slightly sweaty from track practice and carrying a gym bag and her book bag. "Can you give me a ride home?" She asked looking at the ground and sounding embarrassed. She said if I couldn't it was cool she could walk. I just stared at her some more, we lived more than three an a half miles away and with her bags it would be a long walk.

"I'll take you." I said once I finally managed to speak. However I didn't move I just kept taking her in. She always wore loose fitting clothes so the full impact of her figure had never hit me. She was lean and toned but she definitely had curves. "What?"

She asked clicking her tongue ring against the back of her teeth. She was asking why I was staring, I immediately began to blush and cursed my light skin for showing the tell tale sign of my embarrassment.

"Nothing." I said turning to exit the school. Once we got inside my car I focused on driving but couldn't stop my eyes from drifting over her thighs. At a particularly long red light the thin sheen of sweat on her thighs glistened in the sunlight pouring through the window. I couldn't have taken my eyes off of her legs if my life depended on it, and I was starting to forget why I shouldn't be looking in the first place. She clicked the ring against the back of her teeth causing me to look up into her face. She was smiling like she knew exactly what was on my mind. "Green light." She said pointing to the traffic signal.

I sped off faster than the law allowed slowing my speed when I realized I was doing 50 miles per hour in a residential area. When we got to her house I started to just let her out and go home but she said if I didn't mind I could just come in she wanted to take a quick shower but then we could work. Images of her soaking wet in the shower immediately flew into my head and all I could do was nod. She smiled and told me to come on in. Although we lived on the same suburban street and the design of our homes was virtually the same the, inside of her house was vastly different from my own, it was immediately homey and welcoming. There were four children sitting in the family room playing monopoly they were obviously sets of identical twins. The room was filled with laughter and fun. "Those are my brothers and sisters, Chloe, April, Drew and Doc." "Doc?" I asked wondering how crazy her mother had to be to have named her child after a fairy tale dwarf.

"Oh well his name is Anthony but he's really smart and ever since he was two years old he's said he was going to be a doctor. He knows a lot of medical stuff."

"Oh" was all I said

"Anyway I'm going to take a shower you don't have to wait with the kids you can come upstairs."

Before I could decide what to do a woman walked to the swinging door that lead from what I could only guess was the kitchen. She had to be Angela's mother, the resemblance between them was strong. The woman was more shapely and heavier than her athletic daughter but still a knockout in her own right.

"Hey mama" Angela called racing up the stairs. "This is Mia."

Her mother immediately embraced me, and instead of being weirded out it actually made me comfortable. I wished my parents didn't travel so much I'd have loved to come home to my mother and father but now that I was 18 they traveled even more frequently than ever before, leaving me for weeks at a time. On the rare occasion when they were home there were charity events and fundraisers and benefits and tons of other things that were much more important to them than I could ever be. They weren't proud of my near straight A's or good behavior over all, in fact it was expected but they plied me with gifts to assuage their guilt for not having been parents. Hell in truth they couldn't really even be called guardians I had been raised by nannies and sitters until I'd hit 16, then my parents deemed me mature enough to stay alone. Each year since then they had spent more and more time traveling.

My friends of course thought the freedom was cool, and I never told them or any one for that matter, that I desperately wished my mother was home to fight with me about inane things like wardrobe choices or whether or not I could get my nose pierced or that I wanted my father around to make sure my skirts weren't to short and that my boyfriend wasn't a total dick. But the truth was that the weren't there and they didn't really care overmuch so long as I kept my grades up and stayed out of trouble with the police. I didn't think about it often but walking into a house where everything seemed so different brought my lack of familial bonds into sharp focus.

I ended up staying in the family room with the kids. The girls were 13 and the boys were 11, they were nice kids and within moments they had me laughing and talking. They all went off to the kitchen to have a snack of some sort and I sat there not having been invited to leave the family room. I never liked to do things in other people's home without permission. Had I been feeling introspective I might have related my reluctance to the fact that I feared reprimand as well as rejection, but I wasn't introspective not then. I was to busy denying who I was to discover any internal truths. A few moments after the kids disappeared Angela came back down stairs. She wore a pair of wide leg boy jeans and a light blue half shirt with a Baby Phat logo on it. For the first time I saw that she had a gold barbell in her navel. The shiny piece of metal looked so cute on her dark brown skin and for a second I couldn't breathe. I was surprised that she had worn a half shirt and it must've shown on my face because she laughed and brushed her long hair over her shoulder. "I can't wear this kind of shirt to school" she said.

I just nodded she was right it was technically against the dress code, and the way she looked in those loose jeans riding low on her hips and the half shirt should have made the whole damn outfit illegal. She was incredibly sexy a fact that I wished I hadn't noticed. .

She let me stare at her for a few moments, while she just stood there and I looked at her from head to toe then from toes to head. She even had cute toes, painted of all colors neon green. She smiled when I met her eyes the second time. "So what are you doing in here alone?"

I shrugged. "The kids went to get a snack."

"Well did you want something?" She asked me I nodded I was kind of hungry I hadn't eaten since lunch. I followed her into the kitchen where the kids were consuming a plate of cookies. I noticed a toddler in a highchair, she was sitting next to Angela's mother mashing what may have once been a banana into her mouth. She was a gorgeous child with huge hazel eyes and dark smooth skin. "This is Asia she said pointing to the baby" she kissed the child on the forehead and turned to me "so what do you want to eat" she asked I shrugged "whatever you're having I guess." "I'm going to have a turkey sandwich want one?" I nodded. She took out the lunch meat and lettuce and cheese and a loaf of bread. "Mayonnaise or mustard?" she asked "Oh you don't have to make mine Angela."

"Mayonnaise or mustard she repeated." As though I hadn't even spoken

"Both." I said

She made us both huge sandwiches and told me to grab two sodas out of the fridge while she put the food on plates. She motioned with her head for me to follow her and on the way past the front room I grabbed my back pack. We headed upstairs past the second floor and into the attic. It was obviously her room and very spacious and quite neat. Someone had clearly had it done professionally what with the hard wood floors and paneling on the walls. I noticed there were two doors on the far wall one was open and a quick glance told me it was the bathroom. The other door was shut, and I was looking at it wondering where it lead when she told me. "That is Asia's room."

"Do you mind sharing with her?" I asked

"Not really she's pretty quiet and she sleeps very soundly." I nodded then said "So do you have any other brothers and sisters or is it just the six of you?"

"I only have four siblings 2 sister and two brothers." She paused as if trying to decide whether to go on. "Asia is mine."

Before I could think I spoke "But you're... I mean how could you?" I trailed off and just stood there feeling dumb.

She clicked her ring against her teeth for a moment then spoke. "I am gay and I was two years ago when I got raped, apparently a few of the boys on the football team thought they'd teach me a lesson, for liking girls. I got pregnant." She spoke as if the whole incident were no big deal but I was stunned how could she be so calm when I could already feel myself starting to cry for her.

"God don't pity me." She sighed "And don't tell anyone"

"I don't pity you" I said blinking back tears "and I won't tell anyone." "Good" was all she said before setting the plates down on the desk I wondered how she could trust me so fully, I knew I wouldn't tell her secrets but how could she know? Before I could think any further she spoke.