Chapter 2
Bree awoke with a start. The memory of the previous night suddenly came back to her, and she didnāt know whether to smile or cry. She just had the best sex of her life, yet she wasnāt sure if Rose would ever talk to her again.
All day long she thought of nothing but Rose, though it eluded her why Rose had run away after the fantastic sex they shared. Did she freak? Was it all too much?
Bree was torn between feelings of anxiety and pure anger. Part of her wanted to give Rose the benefit of the doubt and be kind and understanding. At the end of the day, however, her anger took over. Why the hell did Rose not call her? Was it regret? What was she afraid of? Maybe she was just too damn stupid to waste another thought on her.
This was not easy in the least. Bree wondered if she should call her... what were the chances Rose would pick up and actually talk to her? Maybe Rose needed more time to think things over.
After two days (though it seemed like an eternity) she couldnāt wait anymore. She made the call and Rose picked up. It was a short and awkward conversation, but Rose agreed to meet her for drinks later that night.
Bree went to the bar with much trepidation, not knowing what to expect. She didnāt even know what she herself wanted, but she knew one thing: she really wanted to meet Rose.
Rose was already waiting for her, sitting at the bar with a cocktail. Breeās heart skipped a beat and she smiled. Bree hoped that Rose would hug her hello. Indeed Rose got up to greet her. They smiled at each other and then there was a brief moment of hestiation. Itās not like they never hugged before, but suddenly it seemed like a very private thing to Bree.
She wasnāt sure anymore if it was appropriate or not but she opened her arms ever so slightly. In response Rose did the same and in the fraction of a second Bree decided to just go for it. Rose flung her arms around her shoulders and pushed warmly against her. Breeās hand travelled around her waist and her wrists crossed on Roseās back.
Rose felt so warm and alive in her arms. Rose felt so good that Bree didnāt want to let her go and held her a little longer, but she didnāt want to seem too demanding, so she pulled back a little. Then she immediately felt like leaning back into the embrace again but it was too late. Rose had already retreated as well and was looking at her now.
āThanks for meeting me, Rose.ā
āItās good to see you.ā
As it was a weekday they didnāt drink very much, and they didnāt talk much either. Neither of them wanted to address what had happened between them. Bree finally plucked up her courage, and asked,
āCome home with me?ā
For a long time Rose didnāt reply.
āJust to talk, Rose.ā
After another long silence Rose finally nodded.
At Breeās place they sat on the couch next to each other at a safe distance. Talking proved to be much more difficult than Bree had thought. Finally Rose took the initiative.
āBree, what happened on Saturday...,ā then she cleared her throat and started again.
āIt was wonderful. But I feel itās just not me, you know.ā
Now it was Bree who just nodded. She had anticipated this.
āI donāt want to lose you, Bree. I just donāt think I can...ā she buried her face in her hands, unable to continue.
Roseās face was reddening and tears were welling in her eyes. Bree put an arm around her friendās shoulder. Rose looked at her. She had reacted intuitively, like a friend.
Rose was an actual friend after all, wasnāt she? Now that Bree felt Rose close by her side she wasnāt so sure anymore. She started stroking her shoulder ever so gently. Rose leaned towards her and they drew a little closer together. Bree began feeling nervous again and that mixture of up-tight-ness and too-wideness in her stomach returned.
What the hell was she thinking? She was glad they were on talking terms again and Rose was devastated and she was... well, what exactly was she? Bree felt like she was taking advantage of Roseās hurt feelings in a way. Yet it felt too good to make her let go of Rose. She didnāt take her arm away and she hardly dared to move. She could feel Rose breathing next to her and she didnāt wish for anything except for this moment to last.
Rose started to relax into their half embrace and Bree gently grazed her hand against her shoulder. Roseās hand started moving ever so slightly too. Bree found her way up to Roseās neck and started running her fingers along her hairline, slowly and soft, touching her lightly. Rose sighed.
As Bree continued she grew more confident. Her stomach was flipping and aching but she didnāt stop. Her heartbeat accelerated and she could feel it in her fingertips. She leaned her head closer to Roseās and pressed against her. Rose did not move much, nor did she pull away. Bree took this as a good sign.
She began turning her face towards Roseās temples. She closed her eyes and her lips found a spot right next to Roseās ear. She pursed her lips and kissed the soft skin underneath. Rose inhaled sharply, her breathing barely audible. Now she was not moving at all. Bree didnāt know how to proceed. She wanted to continue, she just didnāt know how. She had stopped moving without realising it.
She was breathing against Roseās temple now and she felt Roseās arms tightening around her waist. She opened her eyes and drew away a little. She caught a glimpse of Rose, eyes closed, breathing with her mouth open, biting her lip on one side.
āDonāt stop,ā Rose whispered, her eyes still closed. Bree kissed her temple, sliding her lips down to her cheek. Roseās hand started stroking the small of her back. Bree felt her lips tremble. She was so insecure, contrary to her usual behaviour. She longed to just kiss her but Roseās words echoed in her head. What if she didnāt want to kiss her?
She had whispered, āDonāt stop.ā hadnāt she? But that seemed like ages ago. Her jaw started shaking mildly and she had to clench it, and her courage faded. With her heart beating a wild tattoo against her chest, she drew away. Rose turned her head and looked at her, surprised, then puzzled.
Bree involuntarily moved closer to Rose again, she was so drawn to her. It was time to show some commitment after all. It was now or never. Bree just couldnāt wait for Roseās reaction any longer and in one fluid motion she inched closer and took Roseās right hand between both her hands.