Always In My Mind

Always in my mind

Will Devvon finally express her feelings to the girl she's been dreaming about?

Thanks, Kei, for proofreading my work.

ps: I hope you enjoy this one Migbird:)

"Yesterday's concert was a hit, did you check out the last band? They were as good as advertised by their marketer, don't you think?" Amanda, who looked a lot like Liv Tyler in her twenties, blew the cigarette puff away and tightened her coat.

"Yeah," Devvon replied putting on her Denim black jacket. "They had pretty good songs and the vocalist was on fire! We should keep an eye on them."

"I don't see the hype, I've definitely heard better," said the deep voice beside her. Devvon and Amanda chuckled as they turned to their friend. His expressive eyes showed his discontent, disrupting his conventionally handsome face.

"Relax, Jason, we didn't say they were the best, they just stand a chance of winning the sponsorship," Devvon leaned her shoulder against his.

"Besides, the lead singer stands no chance against you," she reassured him. She knew it worked because his face lit up at the compliment.

"Yeah, we'll crush them," he replied, sounding more like his carefree self.

The wind blew harder forcing Devvon's strands to shield her eyes. She used both hands to pull the stubborn strands to the back and fastened her jacket. "Shit, it's getting really cold."

She turned around as the icy wind blew harder. The busy university campus got scantier as students searched for shelter. From the corner of her eyes Devvon caught a familiar shape moving alongside other students. She knew she guessed right the moment the silhouette walked closer. She would recognize her out of a million.

The long auburn hair, the intelligent face and that cute eternally brisk way she walked with her body moving to the tempo of her steps. Jessica Macguire never failed to make Devvon feel all sorts of ways.

Her long hair was tied in a ponytail style today. Jessica had chosen form-fitting blue jeans, a light brown sweater and a dark brown coat with black boots, looking smart and mesmerizing. Devvon noticed she didn't have her glasses on, and the brilliant emerald eyes she knew by memory were radiant and focused. Devvon wished those eyes would look in her direction.

She must have stared too long because the subject of her attention turned, and wide green eyes met dark brown. As always, Devvon felt that slight tingling sensation run over her body, her heart picking up on the tempo, and a pleasant feeling enveloped her. It was just a matter of seconds but Jessica's gaze held her captive for what felt like an eternity. She couldn't help it, her lips slowly curled into a smile as she tried her best not to jump like a kid.

Devvon noticed a frown form on Jessica's fine features as she walked closer. Without a second thought, Jessica walked past her without stopping or a semblance of acknowledgment. Confused, Devvon watched her go to a nearby café. A rush of emotions suffused her body, none of them were gracious.

"Hey, are you listening?" Amanda asked, snapping Devvon out of her reverie. She cursed under her breath when Jason and Amanda followed her gaze to Jessica's retreating back.

"You know her?" Jason inquired.

"No, not really," she lifted her shoulders uneasily. Still unsettled by what had just happened she acted impulsively, "You know what, let's take cover, it's getting really cold out here." Devvon walked straight to the café Jessica entered, her friends following her steps rather confused by the rapt change of her humor.

When they walked in, Devvon scanned the crowded café until she finally saw Jessica. She stood at the other end of the room talking to someone Devvon didn't recognize. She seemed more relaxed than earlier. Watching Jessica smile and laugh at what the other person said brought a surge of deafening jealousy.

"I'll be right back," she said to Jason and Amanda. She walked through the room. The familiar song in the background didn't help her mood. As she walked through, a few heads turned her way with nods and smiles, she returned the nods with a tight smile. Finally a few steps away from Jessica, she quietly called her name.

Jessica turned around looking surprised with a hint of a smile on her face. "Hey," she said with questioning eyes.

"Can I talk to you for a sec?" Devvon looked between Jessica and the admittedly good-looking person who stood beside her. The slight frown she had deepened with the realization.

"Yes, sure," Jessica turned, "Angie, let's finish talking about the presentation this evening?"

"Sure thing," Angie replied. "Hit me up when you are free," she added with a corky smile Devvon didn't miss, she nodded to Devvon and left.

Decidedly oblivious of Angie's subtle flirtation, Jessica turned back to Devvon, "What's up?"

With a scowl on her face, Devvon asked, "Jess, do we have a problem I'm not aware of?"

"Why would you think so?"

"Because you ignore me most of the time but act all friendly to someone who is clearly interested in you."

"What are you talking about?" Jessica looked surprised.

"Angie was visibly flirting with you," only noticing she'd raised her voice when a few heads turned in her direction. She put her hand in her pockets and took a deep breath, "I don't understand what's going on between us."

Jessica took her hand leading her to the restroom nearby. When they walked in, Jessica closed the door and turned to look at her. The restroom was small and neat, the little space created an intimate atmosphere.

Devvon waited for a reply, but instead, she watched as Jessica's eyes turned liquid with desire. She found herself, against her will, drawn into the hypnotic gaze slowly diffusing her anger.

Then Jessica's palm was slipping to her neck, her fingers moving to her hair as she leaned up, Devvon couldn't help the attraction, she always knew she was weak for her. She leaned down answering the call in Jessica's emerald eyes.

The second she felt the brush of Jessica's lips, every particle of her being coalesced into a single space where their mouths met. She moved closer pining Jessica to the door as heat instantly suffused her body. Jessica ran her silken tongue along her inner surface eliciting a groan from both of them.

They kissed with tender familiarity. Once again, Devvon felt raw desire for her. It was always like that, but there was more to this. She needed more from Jessica and needed to be sure it was reciprocal.

Gently stepping away from the embrace, she whispered.

"Jess, I want to know why you ignore me in public, why do you always treat me like a stranger? What is going on?"

Jessica seemed to be searching for the right word.

"Devvon, I treat you the way I treat any other person."

"That's the point!" she snapped again out of frustration. "Am I any other person to you on this campus, don't you think I'm different?"

Jessica frowned surprised by Devvon's sharp tone, "Why should I treat you differently Devvon? Because you are a rising star in town or because we fuck once in a while?"

Devvon's heart lurched "I never said -"

"You don't have to, your actions speak for yourself. You are so used to the special treatment you can't even tell when someone treats you like a normal citizen." She folded her arms, visibly very upset now, and added, "Don't expect special treatment from me. I won't run into your arms every time we meet like most of your admirers."

Devvon stared, speechless, "Where is this coming from?"

"I know your dating history Devvon, you have always been casual, what's different here?"

Devvon looked away, trying to contain herself. She needed to think before talking, but things were falling apart in a way she hadn't expected. "This is insane," she turned to face Jessica, "can't you see how I feel about you, Jess?"

She met Jessica's surprised gaze without a blink and fought to calm her temper, "Do you really think that's what we've been doing for two months? Fucking?" internally cringing at the word, "Is this why you've never let me mention you to my friends?"

Jessica quietly said, "...I never asked for more."

"Are you sure about that?" Devvon asked gentler, she began to wonder if this was all in her head.

"... I thought we both knew this was something casual..." came Jessica's quiet reply.

Devvon blinked. How could she not have known? How did she miss this? "Fuck," she hissed, her hand moving to her face in disbelief. Her brain tried to block images of them two nights ago and failed miserably.

When they were together, Devvon always thought she saw more in those intense green eyes. The way Jessica touched her. When they made love, every touch and every breath felt unique. She knew deep inside it wasn't just physical, there was more. She'd seen it, felt it. Unspoken words had been shared.

"Fuck," she repeated thinking she had been delusional this whole time. "Alright, I got it," she opened the door and walked out of the small room.

Jason, who chatted with friends, stopped mid-sentence to look at Devvon. He noticed something was off with his friend's demeanor when she walked back, "Devv, what's up? Where are you going?"

"Home. Sorry, I don't feel so good..." she said, leaving her friends staring at her wondering what on earth had happened.

****

"Devv..." Jessica started, but Devvon was already out of the restroom. She stared at the door, her heart hammering so hard she thought she might pass out. Needing some stability, she walked out of the restroom and sat on a free stool at the counter sighing under her breath. Things didn't go well, she messed up really bad this time.

Devvon's sincerity had brought her defenses up, and now she said hurtful things she was terrified Devvon believed.

Jessica dropped her books on the counter, completely oblivious of the waiter who came to her. She only noticed his presence when he greeted her.

"What would you like to order?"

"Yes, um," she scrambled for words, "can I have...some hot chocolate, please?"

"Coming right away," the waiter said with a smile and busied himself with the order.

Jessica sighed again and cleaned her eyes from unexisting dust, still shaken by the encounter.

She saw Devvon on campus the moment she walked out of the political science building. Devvon had such a strong presence she just couldn't go unnoticeable. She wore her usual skinny black jeans with a black long sleeve cotton shirt, black jacket, black earrings and white Converse shoes. She looked so enchanting with her dark textured pixie cut and charcoal eyes. Her chiseled features stood stark every time she wore black, Jessica suspected Devvon knew it, it would explain why she always went for somber colors.

Devvon was right about her earlier, she always tried to ignore Devvon's presence when she was around, but it wasn't for the reasons Devvon had mentioned. Every time their eyes met, she lost all her bearing. Her defenses were stripped down and she suddenly felt vulnerable. She didn't want Devvon to see how much she was affected by her.

Less than thirty-five hours ago, Devvon shattered her into a million pieces. Her body, vividly remembering, reacted with an unexpected rush of pleasure over the sensitive parts of her skin.

"Here's your hot chocolate," the waiter said pulling her out of her thoughts. She nodded and whispered, "Thanks," hoping her face wasn't as flushed as she felt.

She has never been sure of Devvon's intentions. Devvon was a rising star, she stood out of the crowd. She was a kind, loving and unequivocally seductive person, she could get anyone she wanted. Why would she go for a boring political scientist like her?

She wished she'd known before they met, how life-changing it would be to feel this much. She wished she'd been warned of the almost maddening desire she'd have felt when they were not together. The craving for Devvon's body, her touch...her kiss, god, Devvon drove her insane.

Finishing her cup of hot chocolate, Jessie was determined to talk with Devvon before they crossed the line of no return. She hoped her stupid actions were still redeemable.

****

Devvon sighed in frustration when she hit the wrong note on her guitar. It was the fifth time in less than three minutes. Finally admitting she wasn't in the mood, she dropped the guitar on the lounge pug next to her bed and lay down staring at the ceiling. She tried to cast away the memories of this afternoon. She was hurt and confused.

A knock on her door made her curse under her breath, she wasn't in the mood for social interactions. She contemplated not answering but when the second knock came she stood up and walked to her door.

She opened the door and froze.

"Hi," Jessica stood at the front looking shy and insecure.

"Hey..."

There was an awkward silence before Jessica finally said, "Can I please talk to you?" When Devvon hesitated, she added, "I won't be long...I promise."

Too tired to think, she opened the door wider, "...Come in."

Jessica walked into the familiar room, taking in the sweet caramel scent and something else only Devvon possessed. It wasn't her first time here, nor her second nor her third, but it always puzzled her. Devvon's room looked so different from her dark edgy looks.

The beige and white wall paint gave a serene vibe, the walls had very few pictures, no poster, and there was a large number of bookshelves with books of all kinds. The only thing that hinted at Devvon's love for music and musical career was her guitar.

"Sit anywhere you want," Devvon said.

Only when Jessica sat on the dining chair near the window did she follow and sat down facing her, a table separating them. She glanced through the window.

"I want to apologize for earlier today-"

"Don't," Devvon scrubbed an annoying patch on the table, trying to busy her mind, "You said what you felt. It's alright, I'll get over it."

"No," Jessica leaned forward, "that's not how I feel. I said it because I thought you wanted us...to have a casual relationship."

"Why would you think so?" troubled, she needed to know.

"We slept together on the first night we met" She replied emphatically, "that's not how serious relationships usually begin."

Devvon was about to say something but Jessica was faster.

"I mean...you are a celebrity in this town, everybody wants to be around you," unable to find the right words, she stood up, and walked to the other end of the room. "I thought...that's what you usually did considering everyone is so obsessed with you."

"It was my first time you know" Devvon blurted out without thinking, disturbed by the sudden physical distance. She met Jessica's perplexed face and chuckled, "It came out wrong, I mean, you are the first person I've ever slept with on the first night. I've never done it before."

Jessica couldn't help but wonder "Why did you do it that night?"

Devvon stood from the chair wanting to touch Jessica but afraid it wouldn't be welcomed. She leaned against the table, "I don't know, I can't explain." She lifted her shoulders, "Of course I thought you were cute," she saw Jessica smile and mirrored it, "When we talked that night, your answers were unconventional. I was intrigued and wanted to know more about you."

She chuckled, "You also looked very unimpressed by me or the band, I still don't know which one it is."

Jessica laughed, the sound resonating around the walls of the room and warming Devvon's heart.

"I was very impressed by

you

, needless to say how very talented your band is considering you are the two times champions of the music competition." A little embarrassed, she added "I just didn't want to look like Dana."

Devvon remembered Dana, Jessica's friend who acted quite hysterical around Jason, the lead singer of the band. "I don't know what you are talking about, she was charming," a hint of humor in her tone.

"I know, right? Her charms brought us to the backstage room."

"I thought you had a pass."

"I thought so too until Dana seduced her way up to the bodyguard and promised to go on a date with him after she met...what's his name... Jason?"

They laughed together, the once-cold room felt warm at last, Devvon looked at Jessica loving her smile, everything about her was perfect.

"Was it really just casual for you...what we've been doing these few months?"

Jessica walked to her, stood between her legs and took Devvon's hands within hers. "It was never casual for me, I'm sorry I said that earlier. We'd never really given a name to what we had and I was afraid you might not feel the same as I do."

Dark brown eyes met green and again unspoken words were shared. Except, Devvon didn't want to keep her feelings to herself, it was driving her crazy not saying them out loud.

Devvon raised her hands to Jessica's waist, needing stability, "You drive me crazy, Jess, and in all the possible senses." She smiled, "I don't want to be casual with you, I'd like you to meet my friends, I want to go on a date with you and... do couple's stuff." Her heart skipped a tempo, "Jess...I think I'm in..."

Two fingers settled on her lips. Frowning, she looked up with questioning eyes. Jessica whispered, "I've already lost myself to you, please, let me keep the little sanity I have left."

In silent understanding, Devvon kissed the soft fingers that still lingered on her lips. She watched as Jessica slowly threaded her hand around her neck going down for a kiss.

***

Jessica's world finally came to normal with the brush of their lips. She groaned at the gentle touch of flesh and deepened the kiss wanting all of her. Devvon's kiss felt tentative as she lifted her lips away to look at Jessica, an inquiry in her eyes.

"Don't stop," Jessica whispered. She pressed against Devvon's body, instantly melting to the warm, soft feel. She heard a groan, Devvon's thigh pushed between hers. She shivered as pleasure went through her whole being.

Fingers tangle her hair, their mouths molding together. The kiss was hard but gentle, soft but ferocious, she was lost in the feel, lost in the emotion. Jessica lost herself in the taste of Devvon. Her hands clinging to Devvon's back as scorching fire went through her body.

She cried out at loss when Devvon once more lifted her lips away, but the cry quickly turned to a groan as those sensuous lips landed on her shoulder blade. She felt a bite and grunted at the pleasure spiking up to one focal point between her legs.

Devvon snaked her hand underneath Jessica's shirt, her fingers landing on her nipple, Jessica moaned at the slight pinch, her thighs trembling. Hands roamed over her body, scorching a load of fire, arousing every part her fingers touched. Jessica felt anemic. She needed to lie down.

Devvon must have read her mind because she stood from the table and quickly moved with her. Within three steps, Jessica felt the edge of the bed and sat down. The student bed was just enough to accommodate two people.

She watched Devvon take off her tank top, her mouth watering at the sight of her bare skin. Devvon was so damn sexy. She looked up to find a smirk on the handsome face. Then the jogging pants were off. With appraising eyes, Jessica looked down at the dark triangular patch, the ache between her thighs growing stronger. She quickly discarded her own shirt, jeans and underwear before pulling Devvon to her.

Devvon leaned down and groaned as she stretched against Jessica's body, running both hands up and down her rib cage. She circled her nipple again knowing Jessica loved being touched there. Jessica tensed as electricity rippled down her spine. Devvon pressed harder insinuating a leg between Jessica's thighs and grounding herself, wetness coating Jessica's thigh. "You feel so good," she whispered.

"Ahh...Devv...this feels amazing," Jessica's voice was a whisper, her eyes losing focus. Devvons was doing amazing things to her nipple. She found Devvon's eyes and tried to concentrate, but this was quickly disrupted when skilled fingers left her nipple and landed between her legs. Jessica cried out her pleasure.