Author's note: This is my first foray into girl-on-girl, so try to be kind. :P It's also a little different than a lot of my stories as it doesn't have a whole lot of backstory and is much shorter. I wanted to dive right into the steamy bits, if I'm being honest. ;) Anyway, thanks for reading and enjoy!
Alice had a love/hate relationship with going to Lucy's house. It was never for a social call. Well, not for herself, anyway. Her oldest daughter had made friends with Lucy's, who was about the same age, so she enjoyed taking Megan there for that reason. Quite frankly, her daughter could use some more friends. If Alice was being honest, so could she.
She also kind of dreaded going there, although it was always a very brief stay. Alice had known Lucy for years. Not in any significant way, just in passing, a mutual acquaintances sort of way, up until recently.
Alice worked at the town's only coffee shop. Subsequently, she came to know a lot of people casually. Evidently, Lucy enjoyed her cup of Joe more than the average person because Alice usually saw her once or twice a week. Other than that, she occasionally saw her at the gym.
For some reason she couldn't put her finger on, she always felt drawn to Lucy. There was really no other way to put it. She interested her. She wanted to know more about her, maybe even be able to call her a friend someday.
Alice's oldest daughter, Megan, sometimes went to the gym with her to walk on the indoor track. More often than not, she tried to talk Alice into shooting hoops in the gym too. Lucy's daughter was always there with her on Sundays, sometimes playing basketball with her dad. She looked close in age to Megan. Alice was finally able to convince her to ask Lucy's daughter to play with her. After that, they were fast friends.
That also meant Alice had an excuse to actually talk to Lucy, not just politely say "hi" in passing. As it turned out, they had a lot in common too, and got along well. Alice was secretly pleased with herself that she had been right about her. She was even more pleased when Lucy went out of her way to talk to her at the gym even when their kids weren't there and asked for her phone number.
By that point, Alice would have been lying to herself if she said she wasn't starting to get some not-so-platonic feelings for her. Lucy reminded her, vaguely, of an actress she acquired one of her "girl crushes" on. That was the "safe" way to put it, at least. Excluding a handful of people, including her husband, most people didn't know she was bi. Having the "hots" for another woman wasn't anything new. Feelings, however, were another story. That had only happened a few times in her 35 years, always unrequited, secret love.
This time seemed no different. Alice knew she should let it go, that it wouldn't do her any good, but she couldn't help herself. It certainly didn't help when Lucy started flirting with her.
She thought she was losing her mind at first. After all, what were the odds? It was a small town, they were both married with kids. Not to mention she felt frumpy compared to Lucy. Her dark blonde hair was nothing spectacular. She still hadn't quite lost all of the weight from carrying two humans in her body. Even for a woman, she was on the shorter side. And her boobs were on the decline from the weight she had lost.
Lucy, on the other hand, was always dressed nicely. She was filled out some in the hips and rear, but in a good way. At least in Alice's opinion. Her breasts were much fuller. And her strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes were to die for. Even her teeth were perfect.
It was both a relief and even more confusing when she told her husband and non-straight friends about the things Lucy had said and done and they agreed wholeheartedly that she was, in fact, flirting. A month later she finally came out to her as being bi (as did Alice; it only seemed fair). She still couldn't believe it, even when the flirting continued. At least for a while.
Whether it was because of their daughters' growing friendship or Alice's big mouth, things cooled off. She had a bad habit of overthinking and had been letting it get the better of her. She asked Lucy things she normally wouldn't have the balls to even mention, but knew they would drive her mad if she didn't, like wondering why she started flirting with her.
Alice tried to let it go, adopt a "whatever will be, will be" attitude, but it was hard. The confusion and uncertainty ate at her, yet they still became better friends. That's all she had ever wanted anyway, right? So, she tried to be satisfied with that.
Even still, to say she felt awkward whenever she was in Lucy's domain was an understatement. And it seemed to be happening more and more with Lucy's daughter "kidnapping" her own at every available opportunity for sleepovers.
Megan was already in the house with her friend while Alice stood on Lucy's porch, giving her an important warning given their plans for the weekend.
"I almost forgot. Megan likes going to things, but she can get overwhelmed by crowds. Just, keep an eye on her. She's not going to have a panic attack or anything, but she might...disassociate. Does that make sense?"
"Sure," Lucy nodded before pausing. She stared at Alice with a funny look.
"What?"
"Have you never been to a gay pride festival?"
"Is it that obvious?" she laughed nervously.
"Do you want to come with us later if we go?" Lucy offered.
"No, I don't think that would be a good idea," Alice mumbled.
"Why?" she didn't miss a beat, her eyebrows knit.
Alice sighed.
"Because I'm trying to bury that shit again. It's been getting out of hand lately..." Silence fell between them momentarily.
"But it's part of who you are. It's not something you can just wish away," Lucy replied quietly.
"Maybe so, but what good does it serve me, Lucy? Hmm?" Alice felt the anger rising within her.
"I had it on lockdown for years just fine," she added.
"Why do you feel like you need to suppress it again?" Lucy asked cautiously.
Is she really that clueless about how I feel about her? Or is she trying to get me to finally say it out loud? If that's the case, why? Why should she care? This conversation isn't going to end well.
Her emotions were going to get the best of her, already were. Alice had to leave, now, before she said something really stupid.
She shook her head.
"I need to go. Call me if you need anything," she turned away.
She felt a hand grab her wrist and spun around, knowing the fury was evident in her eyes, but was powerless to do anything about it.
"Please, tell me," the eyes that met hers were full of a range of emotions; pleading, sadness...For once, though, the Mona Lisa facade was gone. The knowing in her eyes was almost too much to bear.
Alice couldn't lie to her. Lying wasn't in her nature. She did skirt the full truth, though. She'd kept her feelings about Lucy hushed for so long, that the thought of ever admitting them to her was a foreign concept, inconceivable.
She sighed again.
"Fine. I thought someone was interested in me recently. But it's abundantly clear now that they don't...and I feel pretty stupid for even letting myself think this person could have been remotely into me like that," Alice couldn't help adding the extra jab. The months of emotional and mental turmoil had taken their toll and she wanted Lucy to know it, that she was done with her head games.
"Nothing will ever happen between me and another woman and I need to come to terms with that and move on," she finished, letting the words hang in the air. Alice was hyper-aware that Lucy's hand was still holding her wrist.
"What if the other person just has a hard time showing their feelings? What if...that...is all new to her too and it scared her?" Lucy finally replied.
Shit. Are those tears in her eyes?
Please don't cry, Alice willed her silently.
Why are you upset? I'm the one who should be upset!
Then Lucy's words sank in. She felt herself soften. Damn it. Why did she always seem to be so good at doing that right when she was at the peak of her frustration with her? Alice tried to choose her words carefully.
"Then I would say she needs to figure out what she wants. But her indecision is killing me. I know she doesn't owe me anything, but it would be nice if she would at least let me know what's going on inside of her head sometimes."
Fuck. Now there was a lump in Alice's throat. She felt Lucy's soft hand move gently from her wrist to take her hand in hers. Lucy's back was turned to the house. There was no chance the kids would catch them.
She didn't say anything more, just stared at Alice with those glistening eyes that somehow became bluer with the tears threatening to escape. Suddenly, she leaned forward and embraced her tightly, burying her face in Alice's long hair. Shocked momentarily, she finally held Lucy back at the same moment the sobs racked her friend's body. She was having a hard time holding her own back, quiet tears sliding down her face as she hugged her tight.
"I'm sorry," Lucy whispered next to her ear after a minute.
"I do like you, it's just, I've never felt this way about another woman. And I wasn't sure how you felt about me and..." she blubbered. Alice cut her off.
"Are you kidding me? I think about you more than I care to admit. Do you know how crazy I've felt since you stopped flirting with me all of a sudden? I toned it back because I thought you had changed your mind or something. I didn't want to scare you away because I really wanted to be friends too."
Alice held her and let her cry, though she felt the frustration within rising again.
"I'm sorry," Lucy declared again quietly before pulling away.
"I just," she wiped at her eyes. "I've had a hard time processing my feelings on this. You can spew all the obscenities you want at me. I deserve it."
Alice sighed once more, trying to tame her frustration.
"I don't want to spew obscenities at you. Ok, maybe a little bit. But I just want you to talk to me. Is that so much to ask? I get that it's hard for you to let people in. That's why I've never prodded too much before. But if you want to figure this out, can you at least let down your barrier some for me? So we can figure it out...together?"
Lucy started crying again. Alice went to her this time and wrapped her arms tightly around her shoulders.
"I think about you all the time too," Lucy finally admitted with a hoarse whisper. It felt good to hear, better than Alice had imagined, especially since she had never actually expected to hear those words from her.
She held her a little bit longer, until her shoulders finally stopped jerking.
"I hate to break this up, but you should probably get your shit together." They both laughed.
"My kid is depending on you and your child to have a fun-filled day of nerdiness," They chuckled again, slowly getting back to reality and remembering the real reason Alice was there: so Megan could play board and card games with Lucy's daughter.
"I wish we could stay like this longer," Lucy spoke quietly. The closeness of her lips to Alice's ear sent a shiver up her spine. "I've wanted to hug you for a long time."
"Me too. To both." She had no idea how much Alice had longed to feel her warm, curvy body pressed against hers.
