I stared at her intently as she sang out to the crowd, her voice felt as if it was cutting each word into me. I felt the pulse of the drums and bass in my chest. I sang along and heard a choir of voices around me doing the same. I felt the warm press of other bodies in the crowd pushing against my sides and back, making it difficult at time for me to draw in a full breath.
I leaned forward, my arms resting on the stage in front of me. I was captivated by her voice, her magnetism, her movements. It almost seemed as if her eyes would pause on me as she scanned the crowd, and I stared lovingly back towards her. I loved the way she smiled while she sang, genuinely appearing to be enjoying every moment. I had never seen anyone sing with such an expression before.
I wished that I could be to one to make her smile like that. My mind wandered momentarily but I forced my thoughts back to the moment, the music, reality. I shook my head slightly, laughing inside at the audacity of my thoughts. As if I would ever have a chance at that. She was more than a little bit famous, and I was a nobody. Besides that, there was always the fact that she was straight and married to the keyboard player, of course. But still, I watched her hands on the microphone stand, imagining them touching me, her fingers on me, in me.
I focused my thoughts back onto the music, as the band moved through their catalog of songs, seamlessly shifting from one to the next. I wished this feeling could last forever. After what seemed like too brief of a time, the last notes of the final song rang out over the crowded bar, and I knew that this time was at an end.
As the band left the stage, they reached out and touched hands with the people in the front row (and ambitious people leaning forward from behind). Could I be so blessed as to be able to touch her hand, to connect in a real though fleeting way with her? As she got closer to me my heart raced with anticipation. I stretched out my arm as far as I could, reaching for that touch I craved.
Suddenly, it happened. As my hand brushed against hers I felt a jolt of electricity, and found myself for an instant staring into her most stunning eyes. Time stopped. My heart stopped with it. The moment stretched out like warm taffy and I felt a surge of energy bursting into my body.
And then the contact was over and time surged forward again and my heart raced along with it. Before she moved away I thought I saw a brief recognition of the connection, some hint of surprise in the lift of her eyebrows, the tilt of her head.
But her momentum carried her off and away, pulled her past me to the other waiting fans and off the stage into the darkness beyond my sight.
That was it, the culmination of my night, what I had been hoping for since I left home to drive into town and arrive here earlier than necessary to secure a spot at the front, slightly to the left of the centre stage. It was a small venue so I was right up against the stage. I had waited patiently while the equipment was set up and chatted briefly and awkwardly with the people next to me, a couple of local girls, while waiting for the opening act to begin. And for them to finish their surprisingly decent set and the main act to emerge into the shining lights to the delight of the crowd.
Though I had tried to hold onto time and bring it to a stop as one song and then the next were played, it slipped away nonetheless and now the show was over leaving me nothing but my already fading memories. I could still feel the frisson of energy that had surged through our briefly touching hands, before she had walked out into the darkness surrounding the stage.
I waited for the people to clear away from the area around the stage so that I could leave the venue now that the show was over. It was good to have some more space to breathe as the crowd began to disperse. I loved watching all the different people and imagining how the rest of their nights would go.
As for me I was still feeling a buzz from the concert experience but was not really looking forward to the long ride back to where I was staying.
I felt a soft tap on my shoulder and turned around to see a security guy standing beside me.
"Can you come with me, please miss?" he asked in quiet voice.
"What's going on?" I asked hesitantly, "am I in some kind of trouble?"
"Not at all miss, please just follow me".
I figured bolting for the exit would be ineffective, since there were still several people milling around, so I might as well do what he asked. I was suspicious about what was going on, but I knew I hadn't done anything wrong.
We walked to a door at the side of the stage and he opened it and ushered me through into an empty room. It looked like a waiting room or maybe a dressing room, with a few chairs and an old couch.
