Adventures of Angel Blast

Note: Just a quick note for my followers, after a few more Love Box chapters, this story will be my main thing. (Not that I'll stop doing The Love Box, mind you)

As always, let me know what you like, what you don't like, all that stuff. Love hearing from all of you <3

--

I picked up a cup of coffee that Abigail, my roommate, was kind enough to heat up for me. The cold of the morning time thawed just a little as the dark liquid slid down my throat. Behind me, the living room TV went on with a news report.

"Following the reports of a new hero on the scene, Angel Breasts has gained a substantive amount of popularity due to her eccentric choice of fighting crime without a shirt on. A bystander had this to say."

The camera cut to an interview of a bald man with a mustache so thick I worried whether he was able to breathe properly through his nose.

"Yeeh, yeeh, I reckon she showed up 'nd gosh darn it, her chest pillows were swingin' that-a-way and this-a-way and, gosh, I was mighty worried my wife would catch me starin' 'an give me a proper beatin' again."

"Again?" The reporter asked.

"Why yeeh, I once did a thang wit her sis and man she ain't never lemme live dat down."

The reporter grimaced and turned back to the camera.

"A-Anyway, the superhero was last seen stopping a drunk driver speeding on the highway." The camera cut and showed footage of me, blushing even harder than I was right now, standing in front of a drunk frat boy, tits in the air, waiting for the police to take him down to the station. "Interestingly, the driver was quoted as saying 'for that view? It was worth it'. More on Angel Breasts at six."

I facepalmed.

Why was I fighting crime without a shirt on? Because my mentor told me to...

**Three days ago, after the incident with Tundra**

"I'M RUINED!" I yelled into my phone. "RUINED."

"Cassie," my mentor laughed on the other end, "Cassie, calm down."

"NO!" I shook my head, despite the fact that she couldn't see me. "I won't be able to live this down!"

In the past couple of hours, I'd gotten hundreds of texts from people I hadn't even talked to much in High School. All of them telling me they were proud of me for taking a stance in favor of women's right to be shirtless. Of course, no one actually believed or cared about the fact that it was an ACCIDENT.

"Cassie, let me tell you something," Tyra said. I shut up momentarily. "Starting out as a hero is really, really difficult. There are already so many great people out there that standing out in and of itself can be a very tall mountain to climb. But look." She sent me a link to a forum with her phone. My eyes widened. With shaking hands, all I saw were people either joking about me light-heartedly or praising me. "You've been handed a path to stardom, Cass. This was the kind of thing I dreamt of when I was starting out."

"So, what do I do?"

"I think you would be foolish not to take advantage of this. So, run with it."

"And how exactly do I 'run with it'?" I asked.

"Well, it's your tits that got you famous right? Show them off."

**Present Time**

... And that, sadly, is how I ended up stopping a bank robbery with my boobs out in the air.

"Halt, criminals!" I put my hand up, not just as an indicator for the four armed men in black ski masks to stop, but also to hide my furiously blushing face. The bank's air conditioning was... Way too cold. Fuck. This was a horrible idea. Goddammit. "Your crime spree is at an end!"

"Holy shit..." One guy said.

"It's Angel Tits!" A hostage, one of the bank tellers, said. Everyone in the room, men and women alike, civilian and criminal alike, were gawking at me. "We're saved! Her boobs are just as big as they looked online!"

I squirmed a little.

"Shut up!" I yelled out. "I'm here to stop crime!"

"She's so fucking hot." One criminal whispered.

"Don't let her get to you, bro!" One of his partners smacked his shoulders. "She's just using her tits to distract us!"

"Brooooo..." The other guy said as he'd just had the realization of a lifetime.

"COULD YOU SHUT UP ABOUT MY TITS ALREADY!?"

Enraged, I lifted my hands. From my palms, white beams of energy emerged, slamming directly into the enemies in front of me. One fell behind the counter, another tangled up into those little velvet ropes every bank uses to organize their clients. The others were laid out on the floor.

"S-She won!" One by one, the hostages began applauding. I could imagine my head looked like a tomato. A woman walked up to me.

"Excuse me!" She was a young girl with glasses on, in a banker uniform. "Can I take a picture with you?"

I sighed. Growing up, I had always wanted fans. Taking pictures with my topless self wasn't exactly what I had in mind. But, I wanted to be the most admirable hero possible, so I said:

"Sure."

Then, she leaned against me, aimed her phone at us with her left hand and with her right she wrapped her arm around my body and squeezed my right boob.

Just as I started squealing, she snapped the picture.

--

**Back at home**

"So," a news anchor asked her partners, "what do you all make of this? For those of you who don't know," she turned toward the camera, "recently, Angel Breasts was seen stopping a bank robbery. After which, she took a very curious picture with a fan she happened to save."

I cringed on my couch, putting my head in Abigail's lap, who simply rolled her eyes at me as she kept watching.

The tv showed the picture that woman had taken, that featured me mid-squeal as she squeezed my boob harshly, a proud grin on her face.

On the bottom of the screen, I could see the number of likes and retweets this got on the bird site. Yep. Everyone saw it.

"I think it's despicable!" One old man whose last time seeing an actual boob was probably before I was born, said. "Why, I remember back in the day we had actual superheroes. Buff all-American men that represented our values proudly. This??? These kinds of women? This is degeneracy! I'm disgusted." He finished, red in the face. "How do I explain this woman to my children?"

"You explain to them that a great woman is out there taking care of problems a lot of men have been having trouble with." Another news anchor said. "Is that a problem?"

"Oh don't play the sexism card. I don't even care that she's a woman." The man threw a stack of papers to the floor.

"Anyway, I think she's great. Can we bring up the picture again?" She asked people behind the camera. I groaned. "Do you see those stretch marks? ALL-NATURAL boobage. I think she sets a great example for modern women."

"Sure, but" another woman intervened, "don't you think she's just appealing to the male gaze? I mean, come on, if you ask me this just sets up unrealistic body standards for the young women of the country. I think her presence is hurtful for women everywhere."

"THANK YOU!" The old man replied. "Thanks, Susan."

"My name's Rachel."

"Whatever."

I turned the tv off.

"I can't watch anymore of this." I grumbled into Abigail's lap. "I'm never going out again."

"Oh, cheer up." She started rubbing circles on my back. "At least you got the bad guys in the end."

"ABBY!" I raised my head. "I'M A SEX ICON!"

"So?"

"I don't wanna be a sex icon!" I shook my head. "I wanna be a hero!"

Abigail sighed.

"You can be both, Cass. It's fine." She kept rubbing my back.

I won't lie, a part of me was definitely more focused on her roaming hand than the actual conversation. Could you blame me? I've been crushing on this girl for a very long time. I'm allowed some indulgence.

"Actually, I think I saw some other heroes that were thinking of doing the same," Abby muttered.

"What?"

"Yeah. Some dude pledged that he'd fight crime in a speedo. Another girl is going around fighting without pants now."

"Where'd you see this?"

"Oh, uh..." Abby looked away. "Online."

"What site?"

"Uh... It doesn't matter, the point is, people are taking notes, Cass." She smiled at me. This girl never smiled. My heart warmed. "You'll be fine, just keep your head up and..." She pulled out her wallet. "Fly down and get me some coffee?"

"Ugh, I knew you were gonna ask me for something. You never smile."

"Please?" She put her hands together and stuck out her bottom lip. Moments like these were what made me suspect that she actually knew about my crush on her.

"Fine."

"Thanks, Angel."

"Don't start!" I pointed menacingly at her, to which she raised her hands in surrender.

And so, yeah, I flew down to my nearest coffee place. As soon as I went through the door I was hit with the smell of coffee. When I stood in the line, I was struck by the sense that there was coffee here. A lot stood out in this place, like, the coffee. When I looked at the menu, I found a lot of different items, such as coffee.

Okay, no seriously. My point is, this was the blandest coffee place out there.

I ordered two lattes because I needed some energy. I was just so tired already, and the day had basically just started. I sat down at a nearby table. A woman walked up to me a few minutes later.

"Hello, sweetie, what can I get you today?"

"Um, two lattes, please." I asked, looking through my phone.

"Will that be before or after I get to see that wonderful chest again?"

"Um, how about after... Wait, what?" My head snapped up in her direction.

When I saw the twinkling blue eyes, pale lips and bright blue hair standing beside me, I gasped.

"TUNDRA???" I nearly yelled but the villain placed her hand over my mouth. What the fuck?

"Hey there, long time no see." My body warmed up at the sight of her. Here she was, the woman who had broken my Astonishing Sexless Streak a few days ago. And she was just as hot as I... NO. VILLAIN. SHE IS VILLAIN. Get your mind out of the gutter, Cassie!

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"Working." She replied like it was the most obvious thing ever.

"YOU SHOULD BE IN JAIL!"

She raised a brow.

"I broke out." She shrugged.

I was stunned by how casually she said all this.

"We, but, I mean," at that point I was considering whether I should rip my top off and start fighting her or something. "Why are you working here!?"

"Because I need to put food on my plate?" Tundra gave me a look that seemed pretty amused and I swear, I nearly lost it. How ridiculous was this?

"Villains aren't supposed to work." I hissed. "You're supposed to be hiding out in caves, lairs! Planning your next crime or whatever."

"And heroes are supposed to always be in meetings and councils discussing how to take down the next villain?" She asked. "If that's the case, your heroes must be missing you right now." She looped around a chair and placed her cold hands on my shoulders. "Keep walking around so tense you'll have a stroke." She smirked.

"Hey, Veronica?" A girl called out. Tundra turned towards her.

"Yeah?"

"The lattes."

"Oh, coming." Tundra briefly exited and returned with my orders in her hands. "Here you go, my little Angel Slut."

"You...!"

It's hard to describe with words what my face looked like. So I won't. I'll use this:

>.<

^ That above this sentence is the best description of my face as Tundra swept her hand across my right ear, tucking a loose strand of hair behind it.

"By the way," she started, "I couldn't stop thinking about you after all that. I'm sure you understand." Her husky voice spoke to me. "Here." She slapped something onto the table. "Just in case you want to do a repeat."

Then, she left me with three things: the two lattes and...

Her phone number.

I stared at it as she retreated back into worker mode.

"Whatever," I mumbled, taking the paper and putting it in my pockets. "It's not like I'll call her or anything. I just don't wanna leave the paper on the table."

At that moment, my phone buzzed.

It was a message from Tyra saying: "there's a fight going on at the Valor Theatre. Can you go check it out? Maybe you'll get some more superhero experience."

I sighed. This was exactly what I needed to take my mind off those plump pale lips.

"Okay."

--

Half an hour later, the wind was slapping against my boobs as I flew through the sky. The Valor City Theatre was just up ahead. I shook my head, clear of all the previous stuff I'd been dealing with. There were people who needed help. That was all that mattered.

When bright silver letters came into view, I glided down. Outside, there was nothing to indicate that people were in a struggle. The only sign of any potential trouble was the empty cars parked outside. Regardless, as soon as I drew closer, I began hearing a trembling coming from inside.

Then, an explosion. People came flooding from inside. Desperate faces, heavily breathing unaccustomed runners. I stuck my hand out.

"FEAR NOT! I have arrived to- AGH!?"

They ran me over.

You know how, in movies, whenever a superhero shows up everyone (even those in the middle of life-or-death situations) drop what they're doing to stare in awe of the super-powered being? Well, apparently that's not a real thing. No, as it turns out when a superhero arrives on the scene people keep doing exactly what they were doing earlier. Surviving.

Who would have thought?

After the stampede of terrified civilians passed me by, I stood up with a ghastly look on my face.

"W-Whatever, let's just go see what the problem is!"

And with those slightly perturbed words, I walked into the theatre.

The Valor City Theatre was big and wide, a place suited to catering tourists and such, where it wasn't unusual to have many different people clumped up at once. Right now though, the place was empty. I looked around suspiciously. The dark halls made my skin crawl, and the air conditioning was making my nipples hard.

After a few fruitless searches, I ended up at the theatre proper.

Walking through a large double-door, a spotlight fell onto me.

"WELCOME TO MY LAIR, HERO!"

A voice called to me from a microphone. I got in a battle stance! (Well, I put my fists up. That's basically it, to be honest. I'm no martial artist, all I know is BIG WHITE BEAMS GO BOOM)

Looking around for my enemy, the stage's house lights suddenly turned on. I scowled at the villain in front of me. It was a very short woman who looked like a secretary. Yeah, dark hair, a pair of glasses, a business suit. She looked astonishingly boring.

"MY NAME IS THE SECRETARIAN." She spoke into the microphone, adjusting her glasses and crossing one leg over another as she sat on a prop chair. "FOR YEARS, I'VE SLAVED AWAY AT A DESK, ORGANIZING AN UNGRATEFUL BOSS'S PAPERS. NO LONGER. 'GET ME COFFEE?' FUCK THAT. TODAY, I AM THE BOSS."

I hovered closer to her, not quickly enough though so as to make her start fighting or something.

"Well, then. Secretarian, as tragic as your backstory may be, this is an innocent theatre and you will leave it alone!"

Okay, I mean, it's not like I expected her to just be like "kay". Don't think I'm that naive. I just said it to sound cool.

"NEVER. I WILL NOT REST UNTIL THIS THEATRE, HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO WATCH THEATRICS, IS BURNED TO THE GROUND."

"Pure evil." I shook my head. "If you have beef with your boss, take it out on him! Don't do anything to an innocent theatre!"

"DON'T LECTURE ME ANGEL TITS, I SEE THROUGH THE LIES OF THE HEROES. I WILL BRING JUSTICE TO ALL UNAPPRECIATED SECRETARIES."

"Secretaries?" I asked. "Woman, a secretary's allegiance is to order, to production!"

"IF YOU ARE A HERO, YOU ARE AN ENEMY TO ALL SECRETARIES."

"Only a true villain deals in absolutes. I will do what I must."

"YOU WILL TRY."

Then, suddenly, there were four more of her! I gasped. "So, she can clone herself?" I asked in my mind. "I just need to figure out which is the original!"

I used my beams. Fuck. I need to make a name for them, something that sounds cool. Just calling them "my white beams" is getting boring. Anyway, the clones all dodged. I flew up, so I could have a vantage point and better see what was happening. Then, the clones, one by one, brought out guns.

"Shit, shit!" They opened fire.

I dipped and dove, bullets just barely avoiding my bare torso. This is dangerous! I need to stop her before I get hurt! Even if it means she gets hurt! I flew down and up close with one of her clones who was reloading. Holding my palm out, I blasted her in the face with my beams. The clone disappeared. Fuck, not the right one.

Breathing heavily, I dodged more fire as the Secretarian's clones all cackled.

"FLY LITTLE HERO. YOU WILL NEVER STOP ME. I HAVE SETUP BOMBS ALL AROUND THIS BUILDING THAT WILL BLOW UP IN JUST TEN MINUTES. HA! GOOD LUCK!"

"Ten minutes!" I grimaced.

Fuck, fuck! This was actually really serious. I wanted to call up Tyra, have her come here to back me up but I had no time to do that.

Maybe, if I can aim my beams at all these clones at once... Yes, that could work!

I flew closer to them.

"SHIT! I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH BULLETS!" The Secretarian suddenly said.

"HA! Your secretary's salary is coming back to bite you in the behind! Now, I save the day!" With that declaration, I swept in ready to do the attack I had in mind.

I stood in between them all.

Spinning like a ballerina, I held my hands out and let white beams emerge from them. Like a tornado, I moved at the center of a spinning flurry of beams.

"AH, AREA OF EFFECT ATTACKS, MY ONLY WEAKNESS!" The Secretarian said.

I was feeling ecstatic as I twirled. This was way easier than I thought it would be. I was about to win, I was about to-

Someone smacked me upside the head.

I fell down, unconscious.

--

When my eyes pried open, I was tied down onto a tablet in the middle of the stage.

"W-What's going on?"

"Ha!" The Secretarian laughed, her voice no longer amplified by a microphone. "I knocked you out. With a well improvised and highly acrobatic kick, I rendered you unconscious for about three minutes. Do you know what that means, Angel Tits? It means you have lost and this place is due to blow up in just seven minutes!"

"No!"

"Ha, victory is mine! All those years of sluggishly slaving away for an old fart that never appreciated me, it's all been worth it for this moment! In fact.." She leaned in close. "I'd say, we should take this time to get acquainted with each other even further."

"What?"

"All that work, all that overtime, it left me starving in more ways than one. Why, I haven't felt the touch of another person in so long! I'd be foolish not to take advantage of this."

My eyes widened.

"W-What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, Angel Tits," suddenly, there were four more of her again. "Prepare to get fucked."

The clones all took their clothes off.

"N-No!" I tried to get away, but I was held down tight. "You can't!"

"Oh I can. I certainly can. And I will!"

One of her clones placed a hand on my bare right boob. I felt electricity go through my body. Shit. Shit, shit, shit!

"Hm... Soft." The original, who was standing in front of me, said. "Oh, by the way, I can feel everything these clones feel. So, I get to enjoy every part of this."

"Wait, stop, I mean, we're..."

"Oh, wow." The Secretarian blushed. "Your body, it's just as good as Tundra said it was."

What?

"What?"

"Oh, yeah. Tundra made a *very* long post about you in the villain forums. She was highly detailed too. I'll say, her words did not do your boobs justice." Greedily, the woman continued to squeeze and grope me.

"Wait, if you do this, I'll..."

"Oh, I know." The Secretarian smiled. "Tundra wrote about that too. I'm well aware of how big of a slut you are."

My eyes bulged.

"I'm not a slut!"

"Oh? Well what if I do this?" One clone walked forwards and kneeled in front of me.