Warning: This is a lesbian love story that starts with a bit of a non-consensual occurrence. This is NOT a non-consent story. It's a simply mistake that both parties come to understand. There are also instances that refer to characters race, though no racial or hateful statements are made in this story. I hope you enjoy the journey of this slow-burn love story!
Chapter 1
Life was complicated... I'm definitely not saying I had it all together or anything, but my circumstances weren't great either. I was in a place I hated, surrounded by people I unjustly disliked even more. It was just a temporary trip, but it took me down a dark avenue in my past.
I, Karina Ortiz, a twenty-eight-year-old retail distribution manager for an up-and-coming clothing company, was now in Tokyo on a work trip. And it's not that I hated Japanese people or anything... but... there was definitely a dark memory that clouded my judgment whenever I laid my eyes on a young Asian woman.
When I was nineteen, I married my high school sweetheart, Gabriel; the man of my dreams. We were young, yes, but we both knew we didn't want anyone besides each other. He joined the military, and I stayed in California. It wasn't a great situation because we barely saw each other at first, but we managed to make it work.
I thought everything was going fine. He had his career, and I was going to my university. However, once I learned that he would be getting stationed in other countries, I realized our time together would become even more seldom. Still, he was the only man I had ever wanted to be with, so I was willing to deal with the sacrifices.
It wasn't like he was getting sent to Afghanistan or anything. He only went to Europe and Asia, visiting places like Italy, Korea, and Japan. He wasn't an infantryman, so it wasn't like he had to be on the front lines. Still, I wasn't allowed to go with him, nor did my family think it was a good idea, since I had just started college here.
A lot of people made fun of us, but I had a quiet confidence that we would make it through to the other end. I just needed to finish my studies, and he needed to get to a point where he wasn't being deployed so often. Then, we could be together, and let fate take us wherever we were destined to go.
That all changed one day when he visited me during my senior year. Slowly, I started to realize that all he ever wanted to do was go out drinking and have sex. I felt more like a booty call than a wife to him. That's when I decided to make him aware of my disapproval for his behavior.
Unfortunately, he drunkenly admitted that he hadn't been faithful. And it wasn't like he did it in an apologetic way, either. I'll never forget his words: "I don't need this, Karina. I should have just stayed in overseas where I could pay for sex without getting all the arguing to go with it."
Of course, I didn't believe him at first. I thought he was just trying to say something to hurt me so he could get his way. However, as I pressed him further, he proudly detailed his adventures in dirty underground massage parlors that he and his buddies would unapologetically frequent.
He even bragged about how beautiful the girls were. It only slightly hurt me because I was confident in my looks, but once he started describing the things they would let him do that I wouldn't, I became a completely broken woman. I never realized my hesitancy about giving blowjobs and receiving anal would be used against me, but there I was, being torn down by my husband because he found other women that provided what I wouldn't.
It was a stereotypical thing I would hear about poor areas in Asia. These places were designed as "massage parlors," but once you got behind closed doors, you were able to do whatever you wanted with a girl of your choice.
Obviously, I should have put the blame on my husband, but there was something about the situation that made it feel like he chose them over me. We got a divorce and all, and that was mostly from his end, but from that day on, I could never look at a young Asian woman without picturing her as one of the women he cheated on me with.
Like I said before, I was confident in my looks. I was a young and pretty Latina, with a tight body and nice curves. I always imagined Asian women to be pretty short and flat, so I didn't understand why a man would cheat on a tall and voluptuous woman like me with women like that.
Yes, I knew it was unfair to cast blame on people who were completely unaware of my situation. Unfortunately, there was just a fire burning inside of me that wanted to blame everyone but him. However, this even included myself for not being good enough.
This was probably what drove me to work so hard. I climbed my way up the ranks and became my company's youngest retail distribution manager. The ones I got the job over were pissed and envious of me, but it was nothing compared to the anger I felt towards the women my husband chose over me.
Eventually, in an attempt to save money, my company started negotiating contracts with companies in other countries, which is how I ended up on this trip to Japan. We also started accepting interns out of college. I had no say in the matter of who was hired to my office; The company selected them and we were just notified. That's how we got Alana... And just guess what freaking race she was...
She wanted to come, and even offered to translate for me while I was here. Of course, I didn't let her, because I wanted to be on this trip alone. Adding another young Asian woman in an area that already brought back so many bad memories would have just stressed me the hell out. The material companies already provided their own translators, so I didn't have any need for her annoying little ass, anyway.
So, there I was, all alone, picturing these women as people my ex-husband would have cheated on me with. Was it fair to them? No, but I had to direct my unresolved anger towards someone. All the women had been very polite to me, but I just couldn't stop myself from imagining them having anal sex with the love of my life.
Desperate to relinquish this unresolved hate in my heart, I came up with a pretty ridiculous plan. It was late at night, and I had been drinking quite a bit in my hotel room. I decided that if I could just take my anger out on one single woman, and force her to bear the burden of my angst towards the ones my husband was with, maybe I could find some closure. But who could I use? My time in Japan was running short, and I needed to find the perfect victim.
Eventually, I made my decision. The perfect representation of all the women I hated could be found at one of these dirty massage parlors that Gabriel frequented. I could just pick a girl, and no strings would be attached. I'd go in there and treat her like shit, maybe even slap her around a bit. I could also see what the fuck my husband thought was so great about them.
It was a ridiculous plan, but my mind was stuck on it. Even when I woke up, hungover, I still decided to go through with it because I was willing to do anything to let out some of this anger I had towards the world.
I'm fucking doing this,
I said to myself, stomping my feet as I walked back and forth in my room.
It's stupid, but I'm fucking doing this, because I can't go on living with all this hate in my heart.
After hopping onto the computer and doing some research, I picked up the phone and I made a few calls. I made it pretty clear I was looking for an "underground" massage parlor.
Eventually, one of my calls was answered by someone who was proficient in English; a promising sign. I was scheduled for that evening, and instructed to bring cash. I was also given the code, Butterfly Swan, to use when I got to the door. Now all I had to do was write down the name of the place, and allow my anger to fester before I called a taxi.
