Acceptance of Denial

This is the third and final instalment of this trilogy. The most enjoyable aspect of everything surrounding this is your feedback- I'm grateful for the time you have taken to read any of these instalments. Receiving comments and your votes means a lot and I appreciate it.

Trigger Warning:

*Contains themes of violence, injuries and deceased persons.* Includes content based loosely on the bombing of Cologne by the allied air forces during the night of 30th May, 1942.

The World War Two theme is still prevalent throughout the story, and I apologize for the alterations and mistruths regarding accuracy and authenticity in regards to historical significance. I have only loosely based the plot and characters on historical facts, there are many things regarding this story which are not in line with history. I also want to make it clear that I do not wish to cause any intentional offence despite the seriousness of the included themes. Please remember that my personal opinions are not reflected within this story, I have separated myself from the outlook of the completely fictional characters.

This final part does reveal erotic content almost immediately, but as with the prior instalments of this piece it is very plot driven. If you're looking for a quick fix, something else might be more suited.

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1.

The train rolled steadily underneath us as Erika sat on the bed, tugging off her boots with a sigh. I slid the compartment door shut behind me with my elbow, the tray of coffee and pastries shaking slightly with the rhythm of the train. She collapsed back into the quilt, relaxed and peaceful as she lay there, her hair spread out over the bed. I continued over to the bedside table and placed the tray down.

"Is that for me?" she asked, propping herself up on an elbow, her eyebrow raised inquisitively at the coffee, then at me. "Yes. Would you like it now?" She sat up slowly, nodding appreciatively. I sat down beside her and passed her a saucer of the steaming coffee. "Thank you," she smiled at me, her lips memorizing me for a moment. I turned away from her to distract myself and picked up the remaining cup of coffee for myself.

"What do you think of the ride so far?" she asked, after taking a sip of the dark brew. "It's been good. The staff here are excellent," I added, recalling how well looked after we had been throughout the dinner. "Good. Yes, they are some of the best in the hospitality industry. I'm glad you're impressed," she took another sip of the coffee, shuffling closer to me as I sipped my own.

We made small talk about the trip and when her meetings would be. She suggested I try visiting several of the galleries in Cologne. One of her attendants based in Cologne would be able to escort me around the city and show me a good time. She finished her coffee and I set her cup back at the tray as I finished my own.

As I leaned forward to place my own empty cup back to the tray, I felt Erika shift beside me, her hand wrapping around my side, the fingertips of her other hand caressing my neck. I still had short hair which a barber had kept perfectly trimmed at the Detainment Facility on a regular basis, so my neck was exposed to her touch.

I held my breath as her lips brushed against the back of my neck, beginning at the base of my hairline and down to my collar as she pulled it away from my neck to expose more skin. My breathing became shallow as her hands snaked around to the front of my shirt, feeling the fabric loosening around me as she unbuttoned it. "I think we should use my bed rather than our separate ones tonight," she whispered as the final button came free, her hands slipping lower as she began working open my pants.

I swallowed, gasping as her fingers slid smoothly into my pants, rubbing through my panties so slowly with an intense pressure that had me struggling to inhale. "Remember to breathe," Erika murmured, laughing quietly at my ear. I couldn't speak in response, so instead I moved my hand to hers and guided her hand a little slower, not wanting to rush any of this. She allowed me to control her movements, her own breathing a little ragged in my ear now. When I couldn't handle much more, I slid her hand from me and as I bent down to pull of my shoes and socks as quickly as I could manage.

She leaned back from me, her body loose and relaxed as I turned back to her, wrapping one arm tightly around her waist and the other into her hair as she slunk backwards into the bed, pulling me with her. She had a strange, wild look in her eyes that reeled me in, and I was taken aback by the way her hands gripped me, firm and tight like a vice. Her fingers were digging in and I felt like I was being branded with hot irons, but what cut through all of that was something even more unique.

She was actually pleading. When her mouth wasn't against mine, she muttered and whimpered words in an almost tortured state. "Oh please, please..." she breathed, writhing underneath me as I tried to grasp what was happening. We'd barely even starting anything and she seemed to be almost delirious, rambling feverously against my bare skin after I had hurriedly removed both my shirt and undershirt.

"Oh God, please..." she whispered beneath me while I struggled to not be bucked off of her twisting limbs. I pressed down against her in an attempt to still her, my hands searching for all the buckles and fasteners of her uniform so I could offer her freedom from the confines of her clothes. She had removed her sidearm before I had returned to our compartment with the coffee, so that was one less obstacle. I unbuckled her belts as quickly as my shaking hands would allow, Adler's breath hot and quick, as she stilled slightly against me. I slid down from her, pulling her pants down along her legs as she lifted her waist up to help the process.

Her jacket fell to the floor once I pulled it off her, her shirt following a moment later. She was bare aside from her bra and panties and I absorbed the sight of her sprawled out on the bed beneath me. I slid off my pants, which joined the rest of the clothes on the floor and lowered myself back to Erika, kissing away her moans. The compartment had become suddenly warm and I was glad I was wearing minimal clothing.

"Please, Kristin!" she whimpered, arching up against me, impatient and hungry for more contact. "Erika, wha-" I tried to find out what she wanted, but her lips consumed mine as if she didn't want to explain. I didn't understand why she was being so erratic, she was startling me with this different side of her. Her mouth moved slowly against mine as my lips slackened against hers, the kiss deepening as her tongue circled mine. I realized her hand was slipping into my panties just as the tip of her finger slipped against my clit, making me moan. Erika looked up at me, biting her lip as I pulled away from her, struggling to catch my breath.

As I moved back, she ripped my briefs down from my hips and I shrugged them down and off me, mesmerized as she reached back to unhook her bra. She tugged the bra away from herself and moaned as I caressed her nipples, her shaking limbs as toned and as beautiful as ever. Despite more than two years having passed she was still just as fit as she had been the first time I had ever met her. She had never stopped her strict fitness regime and still looked after herself.

I lowered myself down against her pale skin, feeling the heat radiating from her as her chest rose and fell beneath me. Taking her left nipple in my mouth, I reached up with my free hand and stroked her other breast, hearing her rush of breath and purr of pleasure as her nipples hardened in harmony with my efforts. "Oh yes, harder," she begged, crying out for a split second as I complied with her wishes, faintly worried that people in the next compartment might hear us. She gasped again as I swapped to her other breast and pleasured her in the same way, her moans filling my ears.

Erika's hand closed around my own and lead it down to the hem of her panties, where she slid my hand into them, her eyes closing and lips parting at the sensation. I moved a single finger along her pussy, leaving a trail through the wetness there, then began to tenderly stroke her slit, feeling her hips beginning to circle under my hand. I swallowed as I felt her stirring underneath me, trying to keep a hold on my own excitement. I knew she was hyped for more and I couldn't wait to give her what she needed, but I wanted to see where this could go first.

"You tease me..." she moaned, as she pressed herself against my finger, hoping for penetration and a greater pleasure. "You know I need you so badly Kristin, give me what I need," I vaguely thought I'd never heard her speak so much during sex-somehow she seemed to be overcome with a different kind of agitation. What it was that she needed so badly, was it something different?

I pulled my hand away from her wetness to drag her panties down from her hips until her mound was in plain sight. I tossed her panties away and shuffled my way down the bed until my mouth was only a breath away from her slick lips, which were infused with her delicious fragrance. Her scent was so thick and sweet that I couldn't resist any longer. The first stroke of my tongue had her writhing and my thoughts completely scattered.

I couldn't hold back, I had to delve deeper into her and take every drop of her that I could. I ate her slowly as I went deeper into her, swirling my tongue around her depths until my tongue and lips were coated with her juices. I couldn't recall the last time she had become this soaked so quickly. I slipped my hands under her ass as she pressed against my tongue, rocking herself against me as I worked her into a frenzy.

After a few minutes she was so breathless she could only manage to whisper a stream of encouragement and moan when my tongue pressed against a sensitive area. I moved my tongue as deep as I could go, then left her lips completely to flutter my tongue against her clit. "Oh my God..." she cried out as I let my tongue press flat against her throbbing button. I eased back into her, moving a little faster now, hoping to give her more sensation and enjoyment. My fingers kneaded the muscles of her ass as I worked to rouse more excitement within her.

Looking up her body I found her staring down at me, her eyes as wide and dark as they could become. I held her gaze as her hand slid to my head, her fingers twisting lithely in my hair, unable to look away as her hips flexed, her inner muscles beginning their slow rhythmic contractions. I loved the feel of her fingers in my hair, it was a gesture of encouragement and fondness on her part, which I cherished. I sought out all her inner sweet spots, one after the other, over and over as she began to gradually whimper and moan relentlessly.

A thin sheen of sweat broke out over her chest and her features as she began to really press herself against my mouth, her words suddenly becoming clearer as she approached her release. "Oh Kristin, harder, more... I need you so much." My tongue went limp for a moment as her words took me off guard. What was she doing? She took a huge shaky breath as I resumed my efforts, trying to shut out any further words she might say.

"You feel so good, give all you have... Oh yes, oh yes..." I worked my tongue even faster as she drove herself against me. The effort was blinding and in a final move to tip her over the edge, I slid my tongue from within her and doubled my efforts at her clit. She shook and trembled, her body freezing up as she lost control, a short cry bursting from her throat. I grasped her hips as she jerked against me, her juices flowing abruptly along my tongue. As she calmed down I gave her one final lick and let go of her hips, taking a deep breath of air and to regulate my breathing.

Erika lay very still beside me, her eyes closed as her breathing slowed, returning to her normal pace. I sat beside her, unsure of what to do. Usually she would turn towards me and there would be some eye contact, but she seemed to be a little withdrawn, lacking her usual willingness to communicate. After what had just happened I didn't really know what to think- she usually wasn't so vocal with words, with sounds she was, but not actually speaking to me like she had just then.

I moved closer to her, resting my hand on her hip, timidly for once, as I lay down beside her. Still she didn't turn towards me, and I pressed my lips to her exposed neck coaxing her into relaxing into my arms.

"Erika?" I whispered, running my fingertips along her hip as she sighed. "Please don't..." she sounded pained, and I rose up on my elbow to sweep the hair away from her face. She looked utterly miserable, a strange glimmer in her eye as she looked at me.

"Tell me, it's okay. I can help you." "I don't think you can," she whispered, blinking quickly as she slowly turned to face me, her body facing me directly now. "What... What do you mean?" I coaxed her, my hand returning to her arm, my thumb circling against her soft skin.

"I mean I'm beyond your help. Or anyone's. Don't you know it?" She spoke slowly, as if she wasn't used to the words she said. "Know what?" I pressed, more confused about what she meant. She hadn't ever been this faltering with her words before. "Isn't it plain now...? I thought it was just pretty clear." "Er... It's not so clear, Erika. Just tell me, if you need to. I just don't like to see you suffer like this."

"But I've always suffered with you, Kristin. Everything about the way I feel has always been wrong." "I don't know what you mean," I whispered, unsure of what she was trying to get across. "Oh, please don't make me say it out loud, I think I'll die if I have to." "You mean you..." Surely she meant that she cared about me-was this her confession? "Yes. I need time to say it out loud though," she gazed at me silently, her gentle hand resting against my cheek.

She laughed suddenly, her eyes softening. "You look so confused. I feel almost bad for having told you, except that I don't. I think the time will come when I can tell you more of the truth, very soon." It was clear that she couldn't get the words out, but knowing what she meant was enough for me. "I don't know what to say," I replied, trying to decipher the thoughts in her eyes. "Don't speak then," she murmured, raising herself up and above me, strong arms embracing me reassuringly.

She looked just as beautiful as ever, a pale sculpture, her intense blue eyes tinted with the amber light of the room. I watched as her eyes began to burn with a dark fire as she moved her fingers along my skin, sparking small charges in my nerves as she went. My thoughts trailed away as her touch overran my senses and she claimed me as hers once again.

2.

Cologne was lively and warm, the late May sun a little kinder than Stuttgart's had been the day before. I predicted that it would be a hot summer, as I explored the city for the first of the three days Adler would be in the city. I spent several hours wandering the parks and shops of the city, one of Adler's neatly dressed personal attendants, Hans Merz, providing civil and polite company.

He wore a dark suit and coat rather than a military uniform in order to help us blend in a little within the city-Adler didn't want us attracting any attention. Although he was by no means enthusiastic or opinionated company, at least he could hold a decent conversation about idle topics-nothing too personal arose.

I visited one of the large art galleries in the city centre and by the late afternoon, Adler's attendant and I stopped by the Cologne river to observe the slow beginnings of the day's melting sunset. By the end of the day Hans seemed less like a guard and more like a tour guide since he was a local member of the military and was knew the city of Cologne well. Adler was familiar with him from his previous time serving at the Stuttgart Detainment facility recently, so she deemed him an appropriate choice.

Hans and I visited an esteemed restaurant by the Cologne River for dinner that evening. The three course meal was a luxury that I hadn't enjoyed for some time. It was a strange thing, sitting there in a restaurant for the first time in years-I had never gone out to eat at restaurants since I'd been living independently and hadn't been out to dinner since my detainment. I felt somehow open and exposed when I sat with Hans as we worked our way through the servings of food until the plates had been cleared.

By the time we had left the restaurant it was around seven o'clock and Hans decided we could stop by at a bar where we could pass a bit more time. I think he was enjoying being able to spend some time out in the nightlife after a week of military duties. Being a full time officer who was stationed at one of the military organizations in Cologne's district, his work was endless and important. The stress he must have been under at times I could never truly comprehend-but I could imagine.

It was a large and vibrant bar, with a theme somewhere along the lines of cabaret. Even though the night was yet to truly settle for the city folk of Cologne, the turnout was still good as we arrived after a few minutes of cab travel. Hans made do with brandy and I ordered a glass of scotch. The drink burned and I distracted myself from the sensation by taking another look around at the place. A jazz band played fast paced tunes over at the stage and people began to migrate to the dance floor, a haze of cigarette smoke flowing between them.

I looked over at Hans and he grinned, downing his drink as if he were eager to feel a bit more relaxed. The atmosphere was calming, but it was more than that- there was a sense of enjoyment which led everyone to forget about the world around them and the things that made them uneasy. The war, the division between one person and another and all of the denial could all just be forgotten in a place so carefree and relaxed-where alcohol was a social lubricant and the key to a little more freedom.

Time went on and after a few hours we departed the now packed bar and caught a cab back to the hotel. I'd had a few drinks during the course of the night and was thankful I had dinner before enjoying the drinks. Hans was as merry as I but he kept up his cool, peaceful demeanour and didn't lose the plot-he couldn't afford to risk letting go completely-the whole idea was to keep a watchful eye on me after all. For several brief moments in the night I had felt a pang of annoyance that Adler still had eyes and ears on me after more than two years... But what could I do? I could only grin and bear it, which wasn't hard thanks to slight intoxication and a good time.

Hans and I made small talk and laughed about the evening's events, but meanwhile I felt torn between the end of a good night out and eagerness to see Adler again. I believe Hans had no clue of the nature of the relationship between Adler and I, especially since she had told him just like anyone else that I was an artist who had painted a portrait of her, and that she simply wanted an eye kept on me so I didn't get lost in Cologne.

That was a pretty fair and reasonable way to put things and wasn't something that would arise suspicion, unlike the fact that I was technically being held in custody for association with my Jewish relatives who were missing. I did appreciate Adler's discretion when it came to withholding that information, but it worked in her favour as it did for me and kept things simpler to any outward eyes.

I remember asking Hans what the time was, and after checking his wristwatch beside me in the cab, he informed me it was just after midnight. I had laughed, marvelling at how time flew and Hans had agreed, but reaffirmed that it was all fine, since Adler had told me to stay out until about this time. She herself wouldn't be back at the hotel until late anyway since her meetings would take up the earlier hours of the night.