This is the second part of Acceptance of Denial which continues on from the events in the first instalment. I suggest you seek the first part out if you haven't previously read it, to gain a full understanding of the plot and characters. Despite the apparent controversy of the first instalment and thanks to the positive feedback from many readers, I decided to continue and complete what I began.
Trigger Warning:
The World War Two theme is still prevalent throughout the story, and I apologize for any errors or mistruths regarding accuracy and authenticity in regards to historical significance. I have only loosely based the plot and characters on historical facts, there are many things regarding this story which are not in line with history. I also want to make it clear that I do not wish to cause any intentional offence despite the seriousness of the themes. Please remember that my opinions are not reflected within this story, I have separated myself from the outlook of the completely fictional characters.
Also, the erotic parts don't begin immediately, so if you're looking for a quick fix, something else might be more suited. Please enjoy.
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1.
I awoke sharply, my fading dreams swirling around me, their clarity slipping away as my mind lurched into a sudden consciousness. My eyes flashed open as I grappled to control my senses, my heart racing in my chest. Looking around, I found I was lying on a single bed in a room that seemed vaguely familiar. Tasteful wallpaper wove its way across the walls and fine oak furniture consisting of a closet, desk and bedside tables were positioned around the room.
My surroundings were by no means unpleasant, but I felt an odd feeling of disconnection with the unfamiliarity of it all. My limbs ached, I realized, as I lay there, propped up on my elbows as early morning sunlight streamed through the window beside my bed. And then I remembered.
I remembered being taken from my apartment from one facility to the next and all of a sudden I knew where I was. I leapt out of my bed and stared down through the sunlight and outside, only to be faced with the cold, greyness of the Stuttgart Detainment Facility's grounds. Guards were marching groups of detainees across the area within my sight, their voices drowned out by a strong wind blowing through the grounds. I rubbed my eyes wearily, knowing there was still more to remember, trying to piece together how I had ended up here in this room.
A chain of strung out images and memories slammed through my mind and I closed my eyes in a futile attempt to slow them down. Soft, bare skin, black fabric yielding in my hands before sliding down and along toned legs, soft moans and whimpers of echoing desire and a dark, eerie gaze of possessive lust. All of those very memories were of Adler and I froze, knowing what had come to pass the night before, as I summed up the time we had spent together.
Knowing what had occurred last night, I needed to try and find out what I was feeling and gain some kind of clarity in all of the confusion I felt. I wanted to forget what had happened, but I knew that this wasn't something that could be ignored or erased. It would have been foolish to convince myself as though last night would have no impact on me. I stared out the window, desperate to know what this all meant for me, slowly trying to find some kind of understanding of last night.
After last night's encounter with Adler, she had dressed before she led me out through her office and across the hall to the room where I had slept within. It was my sleeping quarters now, Adler had explained, before wishing me a good sleep and leaving the room. She had told me that she would see me in the morning as she would be free for a short while. Now that the next day had arrived, I wondered if I would be able to hold a conversation with her and whether we would continue on with the beginning stages of her portrait or I'd end up trapped in another of her escapades.
It was clear that Adler had made her intentions known last night and despite my reluctance to her sudden actions, she had pursued her intentions until they had favourable results for her. I felt grimy and warped, tainted to the core and as flawed as I had ever felt in my life. Somehow I had become something horrible last night, unwisely submit to Adler, knowing that it would serve no good whatsoever. Yet strangely, I felt alive and liberated in that moment, feeling as if I had some kind of twisted chance to earn myself a way out of this situation.
There was a slight, flickering hope hidden within me that if I could please Adler, perhaps she would keep me alive. I had something to offer, even if I was going to be used by her, I realized. If I served a purpose for Adler, by both painting for her and providing her with her desired sexual gratification, I had two purposes which allowed me a sliver of hope for survival. If she was going to use me, I thought, then I would fulfil her expectations in order to survive. Although I had undeniably felt some kind of indescribable and distorted attraction to her last night in the haze of my suppressed sexual urges, logic was now filtering through my thoughts.
I paced the room now, close to regretting what had happened, but realized that I could use this all to my advantage. In these dark times I could rely only on myself and the chances that only luck could bring me. I would have to see what Adler would do from this point onwards, as dangerously unpredictable as she was, I had to be careful. If I followed her lead with caution and docility, I knew I had half a chance.
In a state of strange calmness I moved towards the closet and opened it, only to find several cotton shirts and two dark pants hanging within it. I plucked one of the white shirts out, still on its hanger and ran my fingers carefully over the material. It was a soft blend of crisp cotton, a quality item crafted from fine materials. I examined the dark pants as I pulled them from the depths of the closet, they were thick and crisp, but not too heavy-a mix of cotton and the newer nylon fabric. Heavy leather boots had been placed at the base of the wardrobe and I plucked them out of their place and placed them on the floor beside me, marvelling at the solid feel of them and their shine.
I decided to freshen up, so I unbuttoned and shrugged out of my bed shirt and pulled on the crisp new shirt, momentarily surprised at the good fit. Adler must have gauged my size well, she was observant with almost everything, I smirked at her accurate estimation. Even the pants fitted well as I slipped them on eagerly, turning to face myself in the mirror to survey my new outfit as I fastened the buttons of my shirt and stooped to pull on the boots, which shone almost as brightly as Adler's. I wasn't used to such fitted clothes, I generally wore loose-fitting clothing, but this was a welcome change.
I tidied the mess of bed sheets , carefully smoothing out the creases with my hands, hurrying to get the room into a presentable order in case Adler suddenly appeared. I folded my bedclothes and placed them into the wardrobe, hurrying to shut the closet's door. I straightened my collar, determined to look my best and moved to the other side of the room, the soles of my boots snapping stridently on the floor. I opened the door leading out into the hallway and found that only one guard was positioned out guarding the door to Adler's office and the studio.
