After the debacle that was my date with Peter, I decided to scrutinize my potential accomplices a little better.
Throughout that weekend, I got to know Zoe a little and I thought she might make a much better match. We were both in-experienced with women, which I thought maybe a disadvantage but if we were both learning it might work to have us learn together. She worked just down the street from me so we agreed on a coffee date that coming Friday. I was sure this would be a better experience.
I hadn't been on the app since getting Zoe's phone number but on my commute home on Tuesday I signed on more out of nosiness than anything else. I had a few more messages and as I was reading through them the one that piqued my interest was from a lady called Lana. It read, 'I'm going to the bar, can I get you anything?' I'm not going to lie but it was about as original a line as I'd heard before. I was certainly intrigued. Checking out the profile, I noted she was 8 miles away, other than that it was pretty bare. Her photo was a close-up of cleavage that, although impressive, just screamed catfish. In an act of boredom and perhaps a way of entertaining myself until my lunch date with Zoe, I engaged.
'I'll have a gin & tonic' I started. The little dots appeared shortly after I hit send. 'I can deliver or you could come to my hotel and I could meet you at the bar?' That line through me a bit. I thought for sure this was some sort of fake account. 'How would I even know you? Are you planning on wearing a rose in your lapel?' Again, I waited, watching three little dots pulsate across the bottom of my screen. The reply came with just a phone number. My first instinct was to leave it at that, it had gotten weird, very quickly but I was sure entertained by the idea of a random catfish.
I sent a text saying, 'Hi, it's Abbie from tinder...' It didn't take long before I received a reply. This time on Whatsapp. 'Hello Abbie, I'm in town for a couple of nights if you wanted to get that gin? Lana'. She seemed quite forward but I couldn't help but feel it was still going to be some weird guy on the other end. 'How am I sure you aren't a catfish?' I sent hoping to get some idea as to who I was speaking to. I stepped off the bus and started my trudge up to my apartment when my phone started ringing. I let it ring off, I thought, I'll call back when I get inside.
After getting in and toasting a bagel, I remembered the missed call. It was a video call from Lana, I called back and when she answered I was stunned. She was beautiful, short bleached, blond hair swept to one side, with soft features and a nose ring. This was pretty firm proof she was real. 'About that drink', she said, 'I can meet you at the bar or you could join me in my room?' She had an almost posh, home counties accent which was just divine. 'I can't believe you are actually real, I thought for sure you were a catfish.' I told her while giggling.
'I'm certainly not a catfish but I can understand your trepidation. About that drink?' she replied.
'Text me where and I'll be there as soon as I can.'
'Perfect, see you soon.' Then she hung up.
Smiling to myself I realised I needed to get a shower and changed to go out. A quick shower and, after seeing the name of the hotel, a more formal outfit was required than my previous encounter. Smart trousers, with a mid-sized heel and a blouse over the only pair of matching underwear I could find, shamefully they were quite sensibly white and not that enthralling. Nevertheless, onwards I travelled, a taxi called and a confirmation from Lana I was ready for something different.
The journey was quite short and after I arrived in the hotel and checked my appearance in the bathroom I walked into the bar, searching for the stunning lady with short blonde hair. I walked along the bar but was interrupted when a female voice called out 'Abbie?'. It was Lana, she was sitting at a table in a blind corner. She stood up to greet me and I was in lust. Although a similar height to me she was much curvier, she wore a dark blue business suit with a red top, cleavage almost spilling out over the top, matching red shoes and an air of confidence I had never seen in a woman before. There was already a drink waiting for me, adding the tonic water to the glass I asked,
'I assume you don't live here, so are you in Newcastle for work?'
'Yes, I own several companies so I travel a fair bit, but let's put the work chat down and talk about you, shall we?'
