The answer was: 'NO, it wouldn't be funny.' In fact, the mere suggestion that they might already know each other was enough to send Jenny into a near panic. The thought that she had shared some of her most intimate secrets and desires with somebody that she might already know was enough to make hit the block tab, set fire to her devices, throw them out the window and go hide under bed covers or perhaps cave somewhere remote.
However, she held back, in part because she liked Lotus Flower and really enjoyed their interaction, but also because there was a deep need in her, unfulfilled but growing, to meet people like herself, in the real world. The fact was, she was lonely, and increasingly felt disconnected and isolated, even when she was among her family and friends. Of course, recognising the need, and actually doing something about it were two completely different things for a shy introverted girl like Jenny.
Neither she nor Lotus Flower discussed their proximity to each or the possibility of meeting again, although Jenny did start to speculate about whether people she encountered in her everyday life might be her. Perhaps one day, they'ed exchange actual pictures of each other. What if it was one her teachers from school!!! OH GOD, what if it turned out to be her mum. No, she was 100% sure Lotus Flower wasn't her mother, if only because there were times when they were chatting that she knew where and what her mother was doing. Still, it was an intriguing thought, that there might be two people, living double lives, where in one life they were the most intimate of playmates and in the other, complete strangers.
It was a later conversation with Lotus Flower, which had led Jenny to be in this street today trying to pluck up the nerve to go into that shop. They had been chatting about sex toys and masturbation and Jenny had told her she had used a variety of items in recent years to pleasure herself. They ranged from a selection of hairbrushes, chosen for the shape, thickness and length of the handles; through to candles and to a large pen, one of those ones with all the colours, and which, to be frank, did look like a lot like sex toy. Then there were her favourite object for pleasuring herself, bananas. She love rubbing a banana over her pussy, sliding it inside and then eating it, sometimes taking deep into her throat before the eating part. She would imagine that it was real cock. At least if and when a real cock did enter her mouth, she was fairly certain she could take it deep without gagging. She enjoyed banana sex so much so; that she had acquired a taste for bananas flavoured with her pussy juices, and now blushed whenever she saw one in public. She was convinced that people could guess why.
All these items had the big advantage of being everyday normal things, which, unless she was actually caught in the act with them inserted in one or more of her holes, wouldn't attract undue comment. Whereas an actual vibrator or dildo couldn't be explained away as anything other than what they were, sex toys.
Luckily, for Jenny, her parents were great believers in privacy. Even when she was a child, both her parents would knock and wait to be invited in, before entering her room. Now she was an adult, they would never dream of intruding into her room. It was her space. Of course that also meant she was also expected to do all the chores, and washed and iron clothing was left in a neat pile buy the door, although now days she did most of own ironing.
Oddly though, the fear of being caught or spied on by somebody (other than her parents or brother) while she abused herself was one her favourite secret little fantasies. Probably because she was very shy and struggled to image how she would instigate a sexual encounter. Perhaps one her friends, or one of her brothers army friends that he sometime bought home with him on leave might quietly slip into the room one night and stand there watching her fuck herself with a hairbrush. In her darkest fantasies, there wouldn't just one, she would be surrounded by shadowy figures watching her as she fucked herself. They would comment and wank their cocks and cum all over her.
Anyway, the conversation had moved onto real sex toys, and where to buy them, and Jenny had told Lotus Flower she was considering buying something online, and did she have recommendations for which online store to use. Lotus Flower told her about this shop, called 'Silk and Lace, All Thing Nice", that was in town, where she went for toys and sexy clothes, and that Jenny should really go there. Of course, the whole idea was ridiculous. The mere thought of her walking into a public shop and openly buying a sex toy almost caused her to both laugh aloud and scream in terror. It simply wasn't going to happen!!!
Yet, over the following weeks, the idea wouldn't go away, even to the point, one day, after finishing her lectures, she walked past the shop in question before going to catch her bus home. However, she couldn't even bring herself to stop and look in the window, let alone actually go inside. Yet the idea wouldn't go away and continued to grow inside her, until she finally resolved that she would go to the shop, and go in, just to have a look, and perhaps, yes, buy herself a dildo.
No, the idea was just still too silly, wasn't it, she had asked herself? Her voice countered with 'Why was it such a silly idea?' Perhaps this was the opportunity to change, to grow up a bit, to start becoming the confident women you fantasis about being, she told herself. Of course thinking it was one thing, actually doing it, was another. Which was why, after catching the bus into town early that Monday morning, she was wondering up and down this street.
After a pause for a few seconds, she continued down the street but started getting angry with herself, feeding it, and fanning the flames, letting it get hotter and stronger. Why was I being such a silly girl, she scolded herself, I am adult, I am a woman! Ok, only just, but I am 19, and I can prove it. Ok, she had to do that a lot, because she didn't look 19. Not with the way she dressed and wore her hair. Never the less, she was an adult and she could prove it, so what was the problem?!
She wasn't doing anything illegal, It's just a clothes shop, she told herself. Yes, ok an highly specialised clothes shop, but still a clothes shop. Ok it was mostly women's underwear and lingerie, and other girlie stuff, like nighties and pyjamas, from what her quick covert glances could tell her. So why shouldn't I look at the displays of frilly girlie knickers and under garments without embarrassment or even go inside to peruse their merchandise? The last thought nearly made her burst out in laughter, what did she sound like? No wonder she was called Enid, 'peruse their merchandise.'
Then her inner voice chipped in with a response: 'but that's not only what they sell, is it? Let's be honest, you're not hovering outside because you want to buy a nightie with teddies on, are you? It's the other things they sell, those things that her online friend hinted at and joked about. The things she'd seen in countless porn videos and wandered what they must feel like. 'That's was why you're here, isn't it?' Her shy side then suggested going for a coffee, again, or perhaps coming back another day. She continued down the street for a few more steps, and then stopped.
No! She had to fight her desire to run and hide all the time. She had to stop letting the shyness rule her life. She couldn't spend the rest of her life fucking herself with hairbrushes and bananas. It wasn't enough now, and the longer she let it continue the more her loneliness and sense of isolation would grow. She'd end up like a spinster cat women with closet for hair brushes. Or worse, trapped in some unfulfilling dull relationship, with some moron she couldn't talk too, with unfulfilling sex and children.
If she was ever going to meet people with similar interest, she needed to be more confident, and going into that shop was the first step. Therefore, she let her anger grow and overwhelm her natural shyness and hesitation. This had been her way of dealing with it for years, get angry with herself, and let it burn through the anxiety. Ok, it had led to her to making a complete fool of herself on one or two occasion, but equally, it had also got through a lot too. Without, she'd spend the rest of life with her head buried in a book, pretending the real world didn't really exist.
Right, she told herself, this time or you just go home; picking up a cucumber on the way! She'd been too scared to go as far as a cucumber in the past when it came to self abuse, but God, after this morning, she'd needed to fuck herself hard. She turned and walked back down the street. It was a very quaint and oldie world type of street, many of the shops were timber framed and had overhangs. Like her destination, they were mostly ladies fashion boutiques or expensive shoe shops. You know, the sort, with few select items in the window, artistically arranged without a price tag. The sort of places that hinted at 'if you're asking for the price, you can't afford it,' type of shop.
