A Threeway Tie

Part 4 The Lover

Your gaze is like the sun through a magnifying glass, so focused. A part of my body starts to smoulder under the slow burn of that white heat. It’s a shock when I realise that I want this just as much as you do.

I don’t think I can do this again, after tonight. You’re different somehow. The jukebox belts out Chaka Khan: first you put your arms around me, then you put your charms around me. This place is heaving. My mind spins ahead to when we take you home. I can’t resist your sweet surrender. For almost three years now I’ve had my cake and eat it. Maybe I’m sick of cake.

The tension between us is monumental – a monument to a relationship that never should have started, never mind come this far, to this deadly sharp point. But it’s just a game. It’s a game. Oh Jesus, it’s not a game. For the first time, I have performance anxiety. Because for the first time I really do care what happens.

I know you love me; that’s what’s different. I feel it whenever we’re together, I see it when you look into my eyes, and it makes me feel special. Bigger and better than I am. You don’t want me for just one thing. You want me for everything. In five months you have given me that gift, and I confess I am grateful for it. But how can I live up to your expectations? I have needs too in this. I know you want me to act on them. You think I won’t, you think I don’t want to, but you don’t know how much I’m struggling. Oh god, you have no idea. And I just don’t know what to do anymore.

She’s there of course, as arranged. As always. What is she thinking, sitting at the bar, my wife, the cool observer, watching me seduce you? What kind of woman stays in a relationship like this? And what kind of woman am I to keep her in it? Shit, I wish for once she wasn’t here. I’d take you to a hotel and be with you – only you, for as long as you’d have me there. I love you too, you see. That’s what else is different.

I shut my eyes to shut her out, put my arms around you, feel you melt into me. My guilt stabs me again: I haven’t made love to her for weeks, it’s just been you with me…under me, inside me. So many times we’ve come in each other’s arms. So many times you’ve kissed me and I’ve given myself to you. You…disguised as my wife.

My boxers are soaked – that’s my need expressed. It’s beautiful when I feel your need too, the same, inside your knickers. The glass bottle falls from your fingers and shatters on the stone floor with a sound like a muffled gunshot, but you don’t even seem to notice. You’re moving against my body, letting me touch you wherever I want, my hands roaming freely over your slender figure. My lips find the soft skin of your neck and I’m lost.

Suddenly we’re facing each other and I’ve never wanted anyone so much – it’s never been this strong before. And there’s nothing I can do except surrender to your mouth. We kiss then, for the very first time, as lovers at last. I reach for you again, slip my fingers inside your panties and you come in my hand just like that; so easily, hotly, your eyes blazing. So proud of yourself. So defiant. Your juice runs along my fingers and I’m awed. I can hardly find words. You are amazing. I look into your face and see what you need from me before you can say it. My hands are shaking so much with nerves and excitement I can hardly keep hold of the empty beer bottle I’m gripping; but seeing you leant over in front of me, legs parted, your head down, waiting for me…

I almost come myself when I slide the neck of the bottle up your leg and push it deep into your open cunt; when I enter you for the first time and feel your body move, twitching, trembling, rocking against mine with every stroke. Looking up, I lock eyes with my wife, but I don’t really see her at all. I slip my free hand around you and finger your clit, fucking you slowly, hoping you can feel my passion, my longing, through the cool glass in my hand. I can feel each thrust as if it were my own flesh. It’s only a matter of seconds before you start to go rigid, ready to give me your submission, and then I nod to her. Call her over, invite her to help me finish you off. It is the least I can do. I hope you won’t mind sharing, or being shared. I know she wants you too.

Everything is still for a split second and then you’re gone. You come so hard it’s a struggle for both of us to keep silent control of you between us, but you do it so beautifully. When you’ve finished I withdraw gently and there’s two mil of cream in the bottom of the bottle. I have such a strong urge to drink it, but I know I’ll get my chance to taste you soon enough. I feel like there should be some applause, but the handful of onlooking queers just turn back to their own conquests, bemused.

I keep you close to me while you recover; my lips in your hair, my hands on your shoulders, wishing for all the world that we were alone. My wife hails a taxi on the street to take us all back to the house. I know you’ve figured out who she is already by the look on your face. I’m sorry it has to be like this tonight. I think tomorrow night will be different. I think tomorrow night I will be all yours, at last, if you’ll have me. I can’t work out what you’re thinking. I start to worry that it’s too much, all this – that I’ve blown it. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you now. I’ve come too far this time. I have fallen from my high tower for you, to land at your feet. If you walk away…I feel sick at the thought.

And then you put your arm around my hips, and lean your face against my chest, and whisper love to me, stroking my nipple through my shirt. My heart leaps to freedom as I escort you over to the cab.

THE END