Chapter 2. Girl Bonding Time.
As part of my normal routine, I woke up promptly at 5am. It was a very rare occurrence that I ever slept longer than that. Even when I was younger, I was just much more of a morning person. If I didn't wake up tired, I would get up even earlier than that. I love my mornings, and always have. Nothing gets my day going faster than a few cups of strong coffee, a rigorous workout and going through my emails.
That next morning was quite different. When I woke up, I had a beautiful 18 year old in my bed, still nude from the night before. Panic swept over me like a crashing wave. What if Glen came home early? What if Samantha told him what we did to get back at me somehow? What if the other girls opened their fucking traps and spilled the beans? I quickly scanned the room for any sign that Glen had been there, and then closed my eyes so my ears could hear better...........quiet as a church. I looked outside at the fresh snow, and there were no new tracks in the snow leading up to his parking spot in the garage. Okay, I was safe, for now. That feeling of dread and panic didn't go away, and I felt unbelievably guilty. I was a fucking doctor for Christ's sake.............what am I doing having a wild orgy with three 18 year olds?
But the other part of me, I have since named her Candy, yelled out in my head that I was being a complete cunt for questioning one of the sweetest moments of my life. Just for clarity, I don't actually think there is another woman living inside of me, but after talking to a colleague of mine since this happened, I came to understand that many people like to have two sides of their own personalities, the Angel and Devil on your shoulders if you will. Anyhow, Candy was now the loudest voice in my head, and Candy told me to keep with my morning routine, and that I would feel better after I cycled myself in to a dripping sweat.
Samantha looked as sweet as could be laying on her belly in my bed. Her hair lay across her shoulders and back in a wave and glistened from the light of the bathroom. I knew if she was a typical teenager, she would probably sleep till noon if the room stayed dark. I intended to let her sleep. I wasn't sure how I was going to face her anyhow. It's strange how alcohol can change how you interact with a person, and even stranger that it lowers your inhibitions down to the cellar.
The home gym was just down the hallway from my bedroom, and I didn't even bother to go make some coffee. I grabbed a Gatorade from the mini-fridge, guzzled better than half of it, and climbed up on my cycle to ride away stress from the night before. I usually turn the stereo up quite loud when I am working out, and today was no different. What was different was the fact that I had three girls sleeping in the house, with one just 15 feet down the hallway. That realization came roaring back to me when I looked up to see Samantha standing in the doorway with just an oversize Tshirt on.
I grabbed the remote for the stereo, and hit mute. "God Samantha, I am so sorry. I just get in the habit of cranking the stereo when I am in here, I really didn't mean to wake you."
"Don't worry about it, I was mostly awake anyhow. So, uh, about last night.........."
I literally thought that this was the point that she was going to let me off the hook for what happened. I had the full conversation in my head before she ever even spoke again. She would apologize, say she had too much to drink, don't tell my dad.............I would also apologize, I won't tell anyone, I will forget it even happened, have a great morning, talk to ya later. "Yeah, about that, you know I .........................." She cut me off.
"Wait, before you say anything else.........."She slowly walked over to me, and lay her hand on my sweaty arm. "Jen, what happened last night was, well, uh....................I don't know how to say this. I guess what I am trying to say is.........."
In my own mind I figured if I said it was all one big alcohol fueld mistake first, that would somehow make me the winner. I would be the bigger person, and I wouldn't be "dumped" by an 18 year old. "Listen Sam, you don't have to say anything, I ........................" I was gonna say that I understood that it was a mistake, and we were going to act like it didn't happen. But she cut me off again.
"Jen, please let me finish. Last night......................" She paused for a brief second, almost like she was trying to catch her breath. "Last night was the most amazing night of my life.............."
Whoa, stop the fucking presses. Most amazing night of her life? What the fuck was I supposed to do with that? It was a fling, a drunken mistake, a foolish thing for an accomplished professional woman to do. Most amazing night ever? Oh my god.
"Something inside me last night changed. I realized that not only am I a lesbian, but I am happy being a lesbian. You changed me Jennifer..............changed me in ways that I can only begin to tell you. And, I know you are not going to wanna hear this, because I imagine that to you, last night was just a big drunken mistake......................."
Huh? Where did she get that idea? I never said that. I mean, yeah, I was thinking it, but I was only thinking it as part of the conversation I was going to have with her to keep myself from being dumped by an 18 year old. I liked it too. Yeah, I did. So what now? Do we still act like nothing happened? Oh Gawdamm, I am so fucking confused.
".............but to me it was more than that. I have never felt more like a woman than I did last night. When I did that other stuff with my friends, I still felt like a girl doing the stuff that I saw grownups do in pornos. But last night, I felt like an actual woman...............a woman who could fall in love with another woman." She grew silent as she looked down at the floor.
Candy spoke up for me, without even having to think. "Samantha honey, look up at me. " I placed my hand under her chin, and moved her head so she was looking in my eyes. "Don't you ever look down at the floor when you are in the presence of another person. You only look at the floor so you can see where you are going. Looking down is a sign of submission, and you are a grown woman, and you should never have to submit to anyone..................Honey, what happened last night was absolutely amazing. I was going through all these conversations in my mind before I glanced up and saw you, and imagined this going a completely different way."
"What do you mean? Like you thought I would come in here and say it was a big mistake, and that we should never talk about it again?"
I had to laugh at that one. "Yeah baby, something like that. I thought you would look at what happened last night as some weird, twisted taboo encounter with your step-mom, and any more thought of it would make your skin crawl." She jumped back and let go of my arm. "Oh my gawd............never. That was so incredible last night, and how I feel about what happened has nothing to do with you being my step-mom. You just happen to be married to my dad. Beyond that, you are just another beautiful woman who gave me the most memorable night of life." I could feel the tears well up in my eyes. I typically wasn't all that emotional of a person. I could probably count on one hand the amount of times I have cried in the last 15 years. Once for my best friend Melody when she was killed by the drunk driver, once when my dad passed, once when an infant was brought in by ambulance after being thrown against the wall by his dad.........................yeah, that's just about it. But something about what she said to me, and the way she said it brought tears to my eyes.