A Sexual Reconing

Editor's note:

A Sexual Reckoning ended with peace in the family and everyone in touch with their own sexuality and each others'. Everyone except Grandma Edwina. While there's no sexual activity in this very short epilogue, it ties up that loose end with the help of Reverend Mann, the recently-appointed pastor of the family church.

If anyone ever wanted to answer whether or not lesbian sex was against what is in the Bible, this pretty conclusively answers that question.

It also shut Grandma the fuck up.

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What made things better for the family was that Reverend Andy Mann was so supportive of Henry, Alice, Mary and Luann. A couple of weeks after first meeting Edna, Adam, Mary and Luann, he asked stubborn Grandma to the curch for a chat. What he actually had in mind was a come-to-Jesus session with her. Literally.

"Edwina," he began, "what is there that you object to with lesbian sex?"

Grandma Edwina replied, "Well ... it's against the Bible!"

"Where does it say that?" Rev. Mann asked.

"Oh, there's a passage that says some women were so evil that God gave them over to the unnatural act. So there."

"Ah! Romans 1:26. Do you know what it means?"

Edwina huffed up and admonished, "It means that when women had sex with other women, God punished them."

"Let's see, Edwina. You are saying that when women engaged in lesbian sex, God punished them by having them engage in more lesbian sex? That doesn't make any sense."

"Well, that's what we learned as children in Sunday School."

"Edwina, when you were in Sunday School computers still ran on vacuum tubes, telephones had rotary dials, and there were six channels on television. Also, men controlled ninety-nine percent of business, the news and what laws were being made. In the case of Romans 1:26, they decided to interpret it that way because it suited their needs. Today, you can't get two biblical scholars to agree on exactly what it meant other than some women who acted immorally were given some degrading punishment."

He explained, "What is in that passage occurs only once in the Bible and it is very ambiguous. The word 'love' appears, depending on whether your are using the King James or the New International Version, between three-hundred-ten times and five-hundred-fifty-one times. I go with 'love.'"

Edwina stammered, "But, but it's immoral sex! Two women together!"

Rev. Mann laughed and asked, "What was a man's responsibility if his brother died and left a widow?"

Edwina proudly answered, "He took the widow as his own wife. It was his responsibility."

Rev. Mann continued, "And if the man had four brothers who all, say, died in battle, then what happened?"

Edwina had to think for a minute, then decided, "I guess he had to support them all."

"And where, Edwina, would the man, his original wife and his four brothers' widows live?"

"In the surviving brother's house, of course."

"That would be great if the man was rich and could afford a big house with a lot of bedrooms. Unfortunately, the average Joe back then was lucky to have a one-room house. For a time all of Israel lived in tents. So, Edwina, where did all those wives sleep, noting, of course, that the surviving brother still had duties to please the women?"

"Well, uh, I ... uh ..."

"Edwina, they slept in the same bed. They had sex in the presence of each other. Now what are the chances that any man you know, having multiple women in bed that are sanctioned by the law, would not have sex with more than one at a time? Would that be zero? That's what I get. And there would certainly be touching among the women. They didn't have California King Size beds back then. They had sex together, and the women were most likely involved in the act."

"Now take the rich, like King David. He has a whole lot of wives. Assuming he had relations with one every day, that's a lot of days for each one with no sex. Or maybe it wasn't. They probably all share quarters, and things happen. That's why there is no specific prohibition against it. God knew what was going to happen. He didn't give any direction against it because He knew it was a necessary thing to provide for the widows and plural wives. And no man then would make a law to prohibit what men almost universally desire. That's why there is no specific prohibition in the Bible against lesbian relations."

Edwina, for the first time in ages, was speechless.

Rev. Mann continued, "I was taught in seminary to go with what Jesus stressed the most when there is doubt about a passage. In this case, I think I would go with love. God is love. Jesus is love. I'm not here to tell you want to think, but I am here to provide insight. What, in the terms of your old Sunday School teacher, would Jesus do?"

Edwina started to answer, but Rev. Mann held up his hand. "It's a rhetorical question, Edwina. You only have to answer it to yourself. I'm half your age, and I've answered that question to myself almost every day. Maybe your Sunday School teacher had that one right. I've gotten to know your family now and their friends, Edna and Adam. They seem like loving people, and they believe in a God who loves them. Can you at least think about what we spoke about today?"

A very conflicted Grandma Edwina replied, "I'll think about it, Pastor," as she shook the younger man's hand and departed.

She never apologized to Alice, Mary or Luann, but from then on she was at least civil to them. They didn't know, but when a few of her friends got on about them, she actually defended Mary. She still cringed when she saw her daughter kiss or hug Edna, though. Some habits die hard.

Alice, sweet Alice, dug the knife deeper when Grandma wouldn't make it up to Mary. One day she sat her mother down at the kitchen table and poured her a cup of coffee. Sure, Grandma had seen Alice kiss Edna, but nothing about it was ever spoken between mother and daughter about it.

As they began to sip, she said, "Mom, there's something I've been meaning to tell you for the past couple of decades. Adam and I have been having sex with Edna and Adam, and lately, I've been having sex with her, too. It's all consensual among all parties, of course, so there's no cheating, so to speak. I just thought you would want to know."

Alice got up from the table, took a sip of her coffee and said as she left the kitchen, "Nice chat, Mom."

Edwina sat there with her cup half an inch from her lips for five minutes, frozen in place and silent. In the old days, she would have given Alice a tongue-lashing of heroic proportion. That day, she just found herself reflecting on her conversation with Rev. Mann. She didn't like what she had heard from her daughter, and she knew that Alice was rubbing it in her face, but for the first time in memory, she held her tongue.

Sometimes, that's enough.