Sharp clicks of my heels on the concrete leading to the entrance of the bar as I rush from my car. Blasts of frigid air leave the street deserted while pushing me along towards the glow escaping the doorway of the club. I'm shivering as I push the door open just wide enough to enter and hurry inside.
Standing there, my arms holding me in a vain effort to stop my shaking, I look about and take a quick inventory of the place. Welcoming warmth, a soft comfortable song on the jukebox and snatches of conversation are the first to reach my senses. The club is near empty, the hour late, and two familiar faces, one behind the bar and the other seated at it, turn towards me, taking their own inventory of my state.
I give them what I hope is a small grin, while taking a tentative step in their direction. Ally takes hold of a near bottle and fills a glass with a ruby wine, she knows my desires and does not wait for me to ask. Pushing the glass to me, her eyes take on a glint that portends much but promises little.
"Its good to see you again."
Taking my seat, I blush and whisper a thanks, my eyes fleeting between the glass and her leer. My hand shakes as I take the glass and I feel Ally and Patty's eyes upon it. I try to tell myself they will think its from the cold but even I know the futility of that delusion. Both hands cradle the glass and I lean forward to sip, praying that it provides a warmth to both my body and soul to help me through another night.
Patty's movement on my right brings my attention her way and I glance up at her. Her face at first emotionless then her eyes reach out to me and I can almost feel her thoughts trying to break through the near madness encircling my mind. A hand extends and covers one of mine, confirming her attempt to comfort.
"Have you talked to Judy lately?"
The question cuts me and my contact with Patty is lost, forgotten, hopeless. Eyes darting down, away from everyone, even myself, I can't move my lips. Instead, I barely manage to stifle a sob, "No."
"Well, she's been busy. Had to prioritize things. She hardly has time for one drink when she stops by."
And now I'm sobbing, uncontrolled, without any shred of dignity or concern over my surrounding or appearances.
"Don't be so mean!"
Patty's hand squeezes mine, an arm encloses me, rocks my body with hers. I collapse against her and bawl, wondering what madness brought me here yet knowing to stay away was unthinkable. Time lost, the dampness of my tears soaking her blouse finally brings some composure back and I slowly straighten up in my chair.
I look up into Ally's face. The grin still there along with the polished steel glint of her eyes. She hasn't moved, clearly taking enjoyment in my predicament. Heat bursts over my face and I know I am both blushing in embarrassment and in anger. Ally doesn't look away, and the grin doesn't change, but her eyes blaze anew but no longer in taunting as a new thought has replaced the pleasure she was taking in my weakness.
Ally reaches for the bottle and refills my glass. I'm amazed my glass was almost empty until it dawns on me my sips were actually gulps in my futile attempt to stop my tremors. Her hand twists the bottle, bringing the edge of the label into view but then she stops herself and places the bottle back under the counter-top. Ally knows there's no need for the added salt, she only serves me one wine and we both know why.
A tissue brushes at my cheeks, the touch tender and concerned. I give Patty a heartfelt smile, small though it may be, and I take another sip of the wine. Closing my eyes as she passes a brush through my hair, she does her best to compose me.
"I'm sure she has her reasons. Try not to worry."
Other words but I've heard them before and I keep my eyes closed and focus on the sound of Patty's voice rather than the meaning. The caresses of her brush and voice bring a calmness often absent of late and I relax for the first time in days. Another sip of wine and I open my eyes to find the glass again empty.
"One more?"
But I don't answer, nor do I need to do so. Ally refills my glass, Patty's, and then pours herself one. The three of us quiet, letting the wine refresh us and allow for alternatives not seen before.
The last booth empties and Ally moves to the end of the bar, beginning to close the register and wash the remaining glasses, save ours. She walks to the wall and snaps off the lights except for the ones closest to us and the door. Patty goes to join her and takes Ally's hand while looking back at me.
I see Patty talking and glancing my way. Ally nods and gives Patty a quick kiss, patting her ass as she steps in the direction of the ladies room. As Ally locks the office door, Patty returns, reaches again for Ally's hand before coming to me and asking for my car keys. Handing them to her, she places them in her purse, tells me good night and exits before I can say anything in return.