When you come from a small town like I do, and everyone knows your name, you cannot act on impulse. Every move must be calculated because if it's not, your secrets will not stay secret.
My secret, as the youngest of eight children, in a religious, prestigious family, is that I am very attracted to women. If I lived in a big city, if my dad wasn't a preacher, and if I didn't live in my perfect older sibling's shadows, this wouldn't matter. But to maintain our family's reputation, to win titles like 'homecoming queen', and to convince my parents to send me away to college. I had to expertly hide that small little detail.
It wasn't hard to keep hidden, I stand tall-ish at 5'3", I have sun kissed skin, long blonde hair, hazel eyes, an hourglass figure that was only emphasized by my cheer uniform all of High School, so you could say I was practically prey for High School boys.
I painted the picture well for my parents, went to prom with a boy I had known since kindergarten, went on dates to please them so they wouldn't suspect me, and finally the time had come for me to fly 3,000 miles away for college.
The day I walked onto campus my new life had begun. I decided I wasn't going to broadcast my sexuality, but I certainly wasn't going to bury it under the surface anymore. I traded in my knee length skirts for fashion that I actually liked, I put on makeup, and I finally started to feel like the Mia I wanted to be and not the Mia they forced me into being.
I struggled to figure out where I fit in at this school at first. Until I walked greek row. Don't get me wrong, just because i'm a lesbian doesn't mean I don't love girly things, I absolutely without a doubt am a girly girl.
Walking Greek Row was the first sense of freedom I felt. I was handed pamphlets, introduced to Sorority after Sorority, toured houses, and by the time the sun started to go down I was signed up for recruitment and smiling like a little kid in a candy shop.
***
After two weeks of recruitment I had signed my bid to Alpha Phi. I was excited to join my sisterhood, and I had finally unpacked my belongings and officially was moved into the house with eighty six other girls. My roommates were my pledge sisters Stella and Olivia.
"Did you hear that we have to go through initiation tonight?" Stella said excited as she painted her nails. Olivia looked at her with a knowing smile and I looked at them confused.
"Why are you guys smiling, isn't initiation like...torture?" I ask them thinking back to every movie i've ever seen. Stella's green eyes light up as she turns her attention to me.
"Mia! You don't know this particular sororities background do you..." She said as Olivia sat next to her. I watched Olivia start to draw shapes on Stella's bare thigh right under the hem of her dress as Stella started to explain further.
"They can smell lesbian or bi girls from a mile away which makes sense as to why you were bid on." Olivia cut her off and my eyes widen. Was I that obvious.
"Initiation in our sorority isn't like the others. We love our sisters....sometimes a little too much. I don't wanna ruin the surprise, but i'll give you a piece of advice. Freshen up, shave, and wear your sexiest underwear." My eyes widen at her explanation and they both start giggling.
After a long hot shower, shaving every inch of my body (just in case), blowing out my hair, and putting on makeup, I got dressed in my favorite little black dress I bought just for tonight after signing my bid. It's off the shoulders and the hem stops mid thigh, hugging my curves perfectly. It had padding in the top so I wore it would a bra and anxiously selected my favorite lace white panties. I slipped on my black heels and finally made my way downstairs with Olivia and Stella to meet the Leaders of our Chapter: the President, The Vice President, and our New Member Educator.
"Ladies, we take initiation very seriously. Each one of you will be paired with one us so we can induct you..properly." Our President Hailee explained.
"Each one of you will pick a name from the pin box and thats the leader you will be paired up with." Megan the New Member Educator explained standing in front of Olivia with the pink box propped open.
"Wait for everyone to pick before you open the folded name slip." Cassie, the Vice President, instructed,
After we each took a slip we all opened it at the same time. I got Hailee, Olivia got Cassie, and Stella got Megan.
Hailee came up to me and whispered in my ear "I was hoping i'd get you." I blushed a bright pink color and let her take my hand as she led me back upstairs. The President gets the privacy of her own room, just like Megan and Cassie. When I walked in behind her I looked around at her satin pink sheets on her perfectly made bed. She had candles lighting up the room and soft music playing from her surround sound.
"So I don't know what you heard about initiation, but we feel very strongly about making sure our sisters know how much love we have for one another." She started to explain. I turn towards her and take in her appearance. She's wearing a white dress, skin tight, with pink heels. Her light brown hair is curled and her blue eyes are lined with eyeliner to make them pop even more than normal. She looked breath taking.
My words were caught in my throat and I was so nervous, I had my own assumptions about what happened tonight but the idea of it made me really nervous.
