My name is Leona Phillips and I turned 35 years old on 7th March 2005. I live on the outskirts of Blackburn in Lancashire. I have a teenage daughter and work as a Teachers Aid at a local comprehensive school. I feel happier with my life now but it could have been very different.
When I left school in the summer of 1986 there was not a lot of choice in what you could do. A number of industries had closed down in recent years or relocated elsewhere in the country. Some of my friends had found employment, some went on to Youth Training Scheme's, some did nothing but I decided to go to College.
It was whilst at College that I had my first introduction to lesbianism. It was only brief fumblings back at the houses of friends nothing more serious than that. I didn't consider myself to be a lesbian and had a number of boyfriends in my final year at school.
I left College in the summer of 1988. I was more qualified than when I started but a qualification in Business Studies didn't guarantee me any career prospect in this part of the country. I started part-time work in a local shop. Whilst working there I met Jonathan Owen. He was a little older than myself at twenty-two. We started dating in September and just before Christmas I became pregnant. Jonathan was supportive and we agreed to keep the baby.
The baby, whom we named Karen, was born in September 1989 and thankfully it was healthy. Jonathan and I made plans to marry in the summer of 1990. Financially it was not easy but our parents helped out when they could.
On a freezing January morning in 1990, the 13th of January to be exact Jonathan was killed in a motorway pile-up. My world fell apart. Coping with his death and a five-month old baby was hard, so hard. Family and friends were supportive but I became almost a recluse. The next few years were difficult to say the least. Karen was a beautiful child and she seemed the one thing I had left in the world.
It wasn't until a number of years after when Karen started nursery that I felt some of my old spark return. Friends that I knew had moved on or away and I had become isolated in my own world. I met another single parent through Karen's attendance at nursery called Alison Dalton who had divorced her adulterous husband three years earlier. Karen had a little boy. We struck up an immediate friendship and it continued to blossom in the coming months. As the friendship grew I knew I was falling in love with Alsion. It may seem a strong term of affection but my heart and instincts were in agreement. I dare not tell her should she feel shocked or repulsed. Later it emerged she felt exactly the same.
Throughout the coming months and years we laughed and talked; later talking more frankly. We had meals out together, nights in and out in fact everything a normal couple would do, but we weren't a couple. A friend said to us that we acted like an old married couple. Not long after Alison broached the subject of what our friend had said about us being an old married couple and I thought she is going to back off. It turned out not to be the case. The night that followed I will remember for the rest of my life.
Our children were staying at relatives on this particular Saturday night. Alison who sat next to me on the sofa raised the topic of us being compared to an old married couple. She asked if perhaps we should think about being a couple. I nervously laughed. She spoke of her feelings about me and her attraction. Could I have been really blind all this time not to see it? It seemed once she started to talk she couldn't stop and she clearly wanted to tell me everything. When she finished she looked up at me. I leaned across and kissed her. She responded and she kissed me back passionately. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world.
