A Death Baed Bob and The...

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Part 4 – Somebody's Gonna Get Shot

The next morning I woke up in Renee's bed. I looked at her hair and felt a growing tightness in my stomach. What did this mean? Was Andy's vision bound to come true no matter who I kicked out of my life? How could I stop someone else from dying?

I slid out from the covers and slipped out the door. Walking naked through the big, empty, cavernous house made me think of myself as a streaker without an audience. I went down the stairs and into the parlor to put on my clothes.

Just as I finished getting dressed, the door opened and Zhi slipped in. "You are leaving?"

"Yes, for good." I said. "And you should to come with me."

She shook her head. "I cannot."

As Zhi stood there I remembered how I couldn't guess her age the first time I'd met her. Looking at her now I realized she was at the younger end of that spectrum.

"It's dangerous here," I said as I stood up and walked over to her. "Renee is screwing over Tyler and he knows it."

She shook her head vigorously. "Not anymore. Duscha was…" Zhi took in a breath and let it out. "She betrayed Renee. There is woman who comes to the parties, owns model agency. She has friend who deals drugs, and he wanted some of Renee's clients. The woman made deal with Duscha, if she got some of Renee client names, woman would help Duscha get modeling career. But woman lied, and after Duscha got her names she didn't do anything."

"But Renee found out."

Zhi snorted. "Not found out. Duscha told Renee what happened. She wanted revenge on modeling woman and thought Renee would go after her. But she took out her anger on Duscha instead. Renee told Tyler that Duscha was one stealing, when she transport money. So now Tyler thinks Renee didn't do anything wrong."

I shook my head. "Maybe Renee believes that, but I don't. Tyler didn't just kill Duscha…he tortured her. Probably wanted to know if she still had any of his money. You can bet your ass she told him everything."

"Then why is he not here now?"

"Because he wants Renee to think her plan worked, give her time to let her guard down."

Zhi gave me a cynical look. "How do you know all this?"

I gave a slight chuckle. "Too many detective novels." Then I turned serious and said, "It really is dangerous around here. Why not leave?"

Zhi sighed, and then looked straight into my eyes. "I had very little in my country, job that barely gave me place to live and food to eat. Like so many, I wanted more. Then man offered me passage to America. I came in one of those…" she struggled with the words, "cargo containers. Many of us packed together. None knew what expected of us when we arrived. Not until they separate women from men." I swallowed hard as she continued. "But I was lucky. Renee did not want, how do you say it?"

"Damaged goods," I guessed.

"Yes. She was able to look at girls early. She picked me. Now I live in this house and want for nothing."

"What about freedom?"

Zhi's eyes went to the floor. "Sometimes you have to give up something to get what you want."

In that moment, I suddenly understood the sadness I'd seen in Zhi's eyes. She had come here with high hopes for the chance of more in her life, but in the process she had lost something – her innocence.

Before I could think anything further, Zhi was speaking again. "Renee has given me so much. I cannot just leave her after that."

I nodded and put my hand on her shoulder. "Remember," I said, "what she did to Duscha. Just because you have loyalty to someone doesn't always mean they deserve it."

When I got to my car I looked back and saw Zhi standing at the door. She smiled and waved. I realized I didn't get the chance to ask her what the tattoo on her ass meant. It didn't really matter. Driving away from the house that day was the last I ever saw of her.

I found myself cruising around with no direct destination in mind. I didn't want to go home and I wasn't scheduled to work at the store until later. What Zhi said about giving up something to get what you want was stuck in my head, that and Jess. It reminded me of something, something that happened with Monica.

We were still up at the cabin. Monica told me she wanted to fulfill one of my fantasies and do a nude hike. We'd still wear boots and backpacks, but other than that we were naked in the wilderness. It felt strange walking outside for so long in my birthday suit, but it also felt liberating. Being out in nature, surrounded by trees and dirt and rocks and sunshine, I realized this is how our ancestors lived, and I started questioning if it was such a good idea to stray so far from our origins. Maybe my body was getting too much oxygen.

When we reached a peak on this one hill I knew it was time to take out my surprise. The peak overlooked the horizon and gave a beautiful view of the valley. I said we should rest for a while and take off our backpacks and boots. Up to that moment I wasn't sure if Monica had a slight suspicion of what I was planning, but when she gasped as I got down on one knee I knew she had no idea.

"Mon, I love you. I can't imagine life without you, so I wanted to ask for your hand in marriage. Please be mine, forever." They were haunting words now that I remember them.

"But…I thought with what happened with your parents, and how I'm like your mom…I thought marriage scared you."

I smiled. "A beautiful woman once told me that something worth having should scare you a little."

Tears ran down her face as she said, "Yes."

I tried to look confused and said, "Is that yes, you said that, or yes, you'll marry me?"

Monica smiled through the tears and kneeled down to kiss me.

The next night we had our batchelorette party. I had planned the whole thing, including bringing booze and some pot. We built a small fire near the cabin and danced around it, the portable stereo belting out our favorite CD's. Eventually our lips found each other and we kissed for a long time. The CD changed and the sounds of Daft Punk came through the speakers. Monica broke away from the kiss and pushed me back.

"I've got a surprise for you now," she said. Monica led me over to a rock and told me to sit. "Close your eyes."

I did so and then I heard a rustling sound. She had brought a small duffel bag and refused to tell me what was in it. The sound of tinkling bells confused me.

"Am I supposed to salivate now?" I asked.

"Ha ha," she said. "I thought this was going to be the big surprise of the trip, but you outdid me."

"Ha ha," I responded.

"Actually, this kind of works with it. You know how I was telling you I was going to exercise classes on Wednesday nights?"

"Telling me as in lying to me?"

"It's still a form of exercise."

Then the music stopped. I heard her changing CD's. The next thing I heard was some kind of Arabic music.

"Open up," Monica said.

I did and then gasped. Monica was wearing a belly dancer's outfit, with a bikini top that had beads hanging around the edge and a long skirt with a paisley pattern. She wore a waist chain and anklets around each foot, and all three were the kind that had little bells on it. Around her head was some kind of head necklace that had an amulet resting on her forehead, and there were bracelets on her wrists with chains attached to rings on her fingers.

Monica started moving to the music as she approached, her hips swaying in a seductive rhythm. When she stopped in front of me her belly was inches from my face. It started rolling, making the bells ring and looking like it was calling me to it. Monica's hands moved over my head and down around the sides of my face, around front and up again. She never made physical contact with me, but I was as turned on as I would have been if she were eating my pussy. Okay, maybe not that turned on, but I was on my way there.

Monica must have sensed this, because she looked down at me and said, "Play with yourself."

She didn't have to say it twice. My fingers went between my legs while my other hand started playing with a nipple. Monica stepped back and danced with her hips, while her upper body and legs were almost still, making her hips look like they were a separate entity from the rest of her body. She moved in close again while she did this. The skirt hung very low on her waist and her belly was practically calling to me. I moved my head close and went to lick it, but Monica grabbed my head in her hands and pushed it back. The way she did it was graceful, almost like it was an actual move of the dance.

She turned suddenly and danced away from me, shaking her rear in the most enticing way. I leaned back on the rock and slid a finger inside of me. Swinging around again, Monica moved wildly as the tempo of the music picked up. Her arms flailed around as her torso gyrated to the beat. Then in a flash her hand moved and suddenly the skirt was unclasped and she whipped it around over her head. But what really interested me was further down. Monica wore a low-slung G-string with beads hanging off every inch of it.

I added another finger inside my pussy. Monica tossed the skirt away and started dancing toward me again, her arms above her head and her hips moving back and forth. By the time she got to me I had both fingers fucking my pussy hard. Monica let her legs straddle the rock so that she was able to bring her belly close to my face again. The way she moved made the beads of her underwear shake, and made me want what was underneath even more. I leaned in and this time she didn't stop me when I stuck out my tongue and licked her belly. Dragging my tongue all over made Monica moan a little. I got slapped in the face by the bells of the waist chain, but it was worth the punishment. I stopped licking and continued to finger myself as Monica shook her body hard, the music reaching a crescendo and then ending. Suddenly I felt my hand being pulled away from my pussy and Monica's tongue going to work. It didn't take much, and I soon yelled, "Oh God, oh my fucking…Monica!" It was one of the most earth shattering orgasms I'd ever had. She continued to lick and added her fingers and suddenly I was going again until there was another climax. Moncia climbed on top of me and kissed me on the lips. I could taste my honey, and opened my mouth as I pulled her tight to me. I could feel the sweat on both our bodies and feel my heart beating out of my chest. I could swear I felt hers too.

After the kiss Monica looked at me and smiled. "Oh my God," she said. "That class was worth every fucking penny."

Still trying to catch my breath, I said, "Uh huh. We should write a letter of endorsement."

The evening after that was our wedding. We did it at sunset on that same peak where I proposed to her. I had brought a veil for each of us and we found some wild flowers that day to use as bouquets. I'd also brought white anklets and waist chains that had little wedding bells on them. That morning we trimmed our pubic hairs in the shape of hearts (hers looked better than mine, I've never been an artist with shears). After exchanging rings, we made love there on the peak, bringing each other to numerous orgasms. It was one of those moments that defined my life, and I thought it would give me nothing but wonderful memories. Never did I imagine those memories would one day hurt.

I was still trying to sort out all my thoughts and feelings when I arrived at the video store. It was obvious that Jess and I had something very special between us, and I knew it would be stupid of me to let that go. But after losing Monica and hearing Andy's premonition, the very thought of going through all of that again made my body feel cold and hollow. Still, could I trust Andy's premonition? Should I? I kept telling myself I didn't believe in those things, kept thinking about what my dad would say about it, but my brain was plagued with one question – "What if?" My thought process was interrupted when Jiminy Cricket came in. He grabbed a porno and I checked him out without a word. I didn't want to upset him any more than I already had.

He started for the door, stopped and came back to the counter. In a raised voice he said, "Yeah, I'm worried about my wife catching me renting pornos. She fucking hates pornos. But goddammit, I do it anyway." He pointed a finger at me. "'Cause nobody is going to tell me how to live my life. Not her, not you, not anybody!" He walked out at a normal pace, with his head held high and proud.

And that was the moment I knew I was going to put Jess in my life.

When my shift was over I went to the mall and bought a few things. Then I rushed over to Jess' place. She wasn't there. I sat in the parking lot and waited, fighting the urge to take a pill. I wanted one really bad. My nerves were on end over how this would go, since Jess got angry and slammed a door in my face the last time we talked. But I was even more nervous that she'd notice my state if I took a pill, because then our conversation would become about things I didn't want to deal with.

It must have been a night for her classes, because two hours went by without Jess showing up. Then I started to wonder if she was out on a date. Wonder turned to worry, and I found myself reaching for my stash. But I hesitated when a city bus pulled up at the stop across the street. When it drove away Jess was standing there, holding some books. She spotted my car before she crossed the street and stood there for a moment, staring. I got out of the car. She walked over and stopped a few feet in front of me. The look on her face was guarded.

I said, "I want to give us a shot."

Her look went from guarded to disbelief. "Yesterday you were certain you didn't."

"Believe it or not, a lot's happened since yesterday."

"Were you high yesterday?"

I sighed. "Not when I talked to you."

"Are you high now?"

"No. Look, I haven't exactly been behaving normal lately. Ever since Monica died…I don't know what the right decisions are anymore. I mean, when you're in a relationship with someone, you get used to having them be your safety net. When I got confused or overwhelmed by something, Monica always helped me figure it out. And she did it by reminding me what I believed, not just what she thought. She used to say that creative people like me could come up with great ideas but couldn't organize them for shit."

"So what are you saying?" Jess asked. "That you couldn't organize what you felt about me?"

"I know how I feel about you," I said. "It's the only thing I've felt certain about since I lost Monica. But I wasn't sure if I was rushing into things for the wrong reasons. I don't want you in my life because I miss what I had with Monica. I want you in my life because I want you."

Jess didn't respond and we stood there silently. I curled my hands into fists and felt the sweat on my palms. Then Jess took a few steps forward until she was right in front of me.

"So how do I know you won't change your mind again?" she asked.

"You don't," I said, "but if this is something you want, you need to go for it anyway."

I leaned in and kissed Jess. She didn't resist, and soon we were embraced in a full-blown passionate kiss. The tongue stud caught me by surprise again. As the kiss ended I could hear both of us breathing hard, like we'd just run a marathon. "Let's go upstairs," she said.

The apartment was a single room with a double bed, dresser, a table with two chairs and a TV on a small stand. It was basically a motel room, with the bathroom opposite the front door. A laptop sat on the table and when I looked I noticed her computer desktop was a picture of me, the one Bob must have sent. I realized that Monica had been in the picture and that he had somehow taken her out. I tried not to think of the symbolism.

Jess turned and noticed that I was looking at the computer. Embarrassed, she folded down the screen. "I, um…don't think I'm some obsessive nut or anything."

"Why? Is that a bad thing?"

We smiled at each other. Then I held up the bag in my hand. "Something for you," I said.

Jess was a little hesitant as she took the bag. "Uh, thanks." She opened it, looked at me and then down into the bag. "I don't mean to sound like I don't appreciate this, but these aren't really my style."

"Style is one thing, how you feel about yourself is another. Why don't you try them on?"

Jess looked up at me, her face filled with worry. "I'm not going to look good in these."

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that. C'mon, do a little modeling show for me."

I hopped on the bed while Jess grudgingly went into the bathroom. There was a magazine on her nightstand and I flipped through it as I waited. A minute later she came out, still wearing her T-shirt and jeans.

"I can't do it," she said.

"Why not?"

"I told you, I know I'm not going to look good in them."

"So you didn't even try them on?" I said. "Not even to look at them for yourself? Is this the same girl that gave me a speech about courage and then slammed a door in my face?"

Jess stood there for a moment, then sighed and slumped her shoulders as she went back into the bathroom. I went back to reading the magazine, which was about computers. It was real tech-head stuff, and after a few minutes I gave up trying to decipher it. Just as I put it down the bathroom door opened, and several seconds went by before she slowly stepped out. I could feel the smile grow on my face. She had put on the red thong and matching lacy red bra. The whip marks were visible, as were the edges of the crosses on her crotch and the round burns on her breasts. But her tattoos and belly button piercing were also visible.

"Turn around," I said.

When she did I could see all the whip marks on her back. But there was also a large blue dragon tattoo on her upper back where there were no marks, and she had a tattoo of a sun on her left butt cheek and a moon on her right.

"You're beautiful," I said.

Jess looked over her shoulder. "I look like a model for an S&M magazine," she said.

I laughed out loud. Jess cut it off with a serious look. "Oh come on!" I said. "I can't help it. You keep saying funny things, that's not fair."

Her hand came around to her back and pulled at the thong. "I never liked these. Feels like dental floss up my ass."

"Well I happen to think they're sexy," I said. "Now go try on the other one."

Jess shook her head. "I think that one's going to be worse."

"You never know until you try," I said as she shut the door. I picked up another magazine from her nightstand, this one about tattoos. There were pictures of people with large tattoos and some with tons of small ones. I thought some of those small ones might look good on me, and started thinking about where I might get one when the door opened again. This time Jess strode out and stopped in a pose with a hand on her hip.

"Wow!" I said. "That looks great on you."

She was wearing a black bra with sheer cups, making her nipple rings visible, and a black V-string with a white bow on the front. She turned around to show me the back. "It's kind of weird," she said, and ran a finger along the string in her crack, "but I actually like this one better."

"Wait a second," I said. "A thong feels like dental floss in your ass, but the V-string is better?"

"Less material up there to bother me," she said.

I shrugged. "Okay," I said as I slid off the bed and guided her to the mirror. Standing behind Jess as she looked at herself, I put my lips in her ear and said, "You look really sexy."

Jess closed her eyes, took a breath and opened them. "Listen, I really appreciate what you're trying to do here. But it's going to take more than a few pairs of sexy underwear to make me feel better about the fact that I look like I lost a fight with a paper shredder."