Blair opened her eyes out of a daze as sunlight busted through the window and straight onto her face. The daylight hours had almost passed by when she woke up. She had the weirdest dream: her and Zane had some rowdy sex last night. Very, very rowdy. She thought it was a dream until she felt the pain that surged all throughout her body when she stretched. Blair could barely reach out her arms without flinching; the most uncomfortable pain between her legs. It felt so tender and raw, it was killing her. Automatically after thinking about what happened last night, she looked to her side on the bed to see if Zane was still there, but he wasn't. Blair kind of sat up on the bed just letting everything settle on her mind. What the hell was she thinking? How did she get caught up in falling for a guy? And a white guy; a sexy one at that. How did she let herself succumb to the demands of a man? Ugh, it annoyed her. That wasn't like her to be like that when it came to guys, or was it? So many questions ran through her head and then she heard the door creak open.
"Knock knock."
Blair grabbed the covers and pulled them to cover her naked body. The covers, so roughly worn out, smelled of must, sweat, and sex. She unknowingly fanned the scents all over the room and Zane inhaled deeply as he walked in. "That smells so good." He trailed over to the bed with nothing but his underwear on. Damn it, he looked so good with his hair all in disarrayed bed-head fashion. "How you feeling, Blair?" Blair? What in the world made her tell him her real name? She hadn't done that in such a long time...it was weird to hear it come from another persons mouth. "Blair?" He sat down at her side and rubbed her arm looking at her body covered by the sheets.
"Um...a little sore?"
"A little?" He chuckled. "Judging by how tense you are at the moment I'd say it's more than just 'a little' sore." Then with sudden alert, "How is your leg?! Damn it, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot about your bruises and wounds." Damn he had been too rough, maybe.
"I'll live." Blair still couldn't make sense of what happened. She didn't know how a one night stand was supposed to make you feel in the morning, but it couldn't have been what she was feeling now. She felt like she couldn't just go anymore. But why? There is no way she could start to have feelings. Not now. Not ever. She hesitated to make any eye contact with him. My God, she was turning into a girly wimp!
"So..." Zane awkwardly said. Then Blair took in a deep breath.
"Look, Zane, I...don't know what happened last night, but it shouldn't have happened...I...mean...Well, I didn't really have a choice either...I...just think I should take my shower, pack my bags, and leave.
"Now wait, Blair. What happened last night was us fucking. We fucked. Hard. And you loved it as much as I did. You could've beat your way out of this but your pretty little face stayed here and did everything I told it to."
"You didn't give me a choice!"
"Oh, like hell. By the way you carry yourself, you would've probably kicked my ass if wanted to, but you didn't. Tells me something."
Ignoring the semi-compliment, "Tells you what exactly?"
"That you have grown feelings for me."
That stunned her. She tried to not let it show on her face but she couldn't help it. What had became of her tough, unbreakable wall? How did he pass it? So many questions that had to be answered and avoided at the same time. Zane looked over her body, partially covered by the sheets. Part of her breast was hanging out and the covers outlined her voluptuous figure. He felt his libido going crazy. He wanted her again. Now. Arguing just somehow became a turn on to him. He wanted to yank those covers off of Blair, lean between her open legs and take her until she couldn't see straight. "I haven't grown feelings for anyone," she bluntly lied.
It kind of hurt Zane's feelings when she said that, but she had such a poker face that he couldn't tell if she was lying or not. He hoped that she was, because he kind of threw his feelings out on the table for her. "Well, why don't you just take a nice, long shower? Think about some things. I'll go downstairs and make some food for us. We can talk then. Don't try anything stupid, Blair."
"Yeah. I'll take the shower. Alone."
"Damn, are you always this feisty in the morning? I could get used to it, ya know," he chuckled. "Well, use the shower in my bedroom. The one you use is broken."
"Okay." She looked so sad. Remorseful. What was she thinking about? She stood up with the covers wrapped around her like a damned cocoon.
"I put your clothes bag in the bathroom so you don't have to worry about me sneaking a look at your beautiful body coming into this room to look for an outfit. I wouldn't be able to help myself." Despite what had just happened and the small argument they just had, he seemed to still be happy and smile; something Blair wasn't used to. She couldn't do this anymore. She can't develop emotions for anyone. It just hurts her in the end.
The water from the shower dropped down onto Blair's face as she looked out Zane's bathroom-curtained window. It stung more than anything. Her breaths became fast and hasty, her eyelids were fluttering hastily. She could just get a chair and sit in there for hours. She had to do this. No turning back. She left the shower running, dried off and got into some clothes, and stiffened. Not even with being in the shower for more than two minutes, she grabbed her bag and fled.
Damn, Zane thought. She has been in there forever. I'm getting impatient by the second. I guess I should check on her to make she hasn't died or maybe she's shaving. Girls take forever with that crap over one puny stubble. He rambled on inside his head until her got to his bathroom door. He heard the shower running still, but received no answer when he called her name for a couple of minutes. "Blair, open up!...Blair?...Blair, open up, or I'm coming in whether you like it or not!" Angrily and worriedly, he busted the door open only to find a steamed filled bathroom. His heart stopped as he directed his look towards his window, open and empty. She left? She actually did it. He fell back onto the floor, staring at the opened window. The wind gently blew the curtains and he winced. His jaw tightened, his cheeks sucked inwards. Snapping out of his state of shock, he jumped up and swallowed the lump in his throat. He paced back and forth in the bathroom until he stormed out into his bedroom and yelled. "FUCK! You are so fucking stupid, Zane. You didn't even...tell her how you felt...maybe she would've stayed...or maybe I pushed her away..." His self rant faded away as he glimpsed at a sheet of paper on his bed , nicely folded.
So, if you've read this by now...I'm gone. It's what's best for me, Zane. Thank you for everything that you've given me. The help, I mean. I can't have any feelings towards anything and I don't, so there was no point of me staying. I can walk perfectly fine and from this point on, I would've been a pain in the ass, because I am. Don't go trying to look for me either. I'm going through town, and you can't be seen there so I figured that way was my best chance for me to get away from you. I'm sorry, but none of this was real. And I have to live in reality.
-Stormy.
After that night passed, it rained for weeks.
___________
Blair had so many nightmares ever since she left. She pick pocketed multiple wallets, just enough to rent a crappy motel room for a few days so she could gather her thoughts. Every night she had reoccurring dreams and nightmares to the point where she would do everything but try to sleep. Jumping up and screaming from her childhood, her awful memories, and dreams of what life could've been. She woke up one morning and sat up in the bed. Her hair all in disarray and formed bags under her eyes, she looked up and around the room. A heavy sigh was made. She hated the small town. Everyone was so rude and uptight. And treated her like the stranger she was. They were nothing like Zane. He cared. But why was Blair so obsessed with comparing things to him? Since when did she ever care about what people thought or their emotions? Blah, blah , blah! Too many thoughts occurred at once; it was all gibberish. Her bed wasn't as comfortable as Zane's. The water wasn't as hot as Zane's. The food she ate didn't even compare to his simple can of soup. She wasn't so far from his place. She could have easily went back and walked about twenty miles, but she feared of what she would've done and still couldn't shake the feeling of completely abandoning his existence. Avoiding to pay the rent, she snuck outside. The rain was down poring and of course she didn't have an umbrella. She ran to the nearest store that looked more like a gas station to buy one for the hellish rain. She shivered when the doors opened but stopped when saw a group of policemen sitting down at the front and tried to act calm and hurry. All eyes were on her, as if she had a fucking arrow pointing down on her above her head saying, "Hey, look at me! I'm a criminal!" But for the cops, it wasn't because they were suspicious about her, it was her overall look. Blair looked like a sexy siren! Her hair slick and dripping on her face and onto the floor, the beautiful intensity from her eyes, the subtle eyeliner and eye shadow smudging from the rain, her biker jacket over a red tank top, the clinging pants, and the badass combat boots. She looked like she was ready to wrestle in a wet t-shirt contest after killing some monsters.
One of the cops whistled when he stopped playing around with his toothpick. "Boy, Gerald, look at that black woman right there. Now, I normally don't find too much taste in em 'round here, but she is edible. I'd love to give her a full body search." Gerald stopped fidgeting with his uneven placement of his badge and looked up. He had to do a double take to take on the fired look in Blair's face. Oh my God, he thought
"Um...yeah. You're right, Anders. Uh...Wonder why we haven't seen much of her around before 'til now." Gerald looked at her as if he was trying to figure out the last piece to solve a riddle. Without enough time to figure it out, Blair broke eye contact, shook her head, and walked towards the back where the umbrellas were located. "Um...I'll be right back guys," Gerald said.
"What? Ol' Gerald gonna go flirt?" Anders laughed obnoxiously. "Well you go 'head and get you some! Maybe later we can have a chat 'bout how them type of girls are in bed!"
With forced laughter, Gerald replied, "Hells yeah Anders," and walked away towards the back.
What an asshole. I never liked the son of a bitch. No wonder Zane didn't either, Gerald thought to himself, cutting through the small aisles. This girl...she fit the description that I was given. No way I could be wrong about her.
"Excuse me, ma'am!" Blair heard someone call out towards her. Damn it, and it had to be a police officer. Just stay calm, Blair. Play it off. You've done this before.
"Yes?" Blair turned to face the direction of the approaching officer and gave him a grim look.
"Hello. My name is Officer Gerald. I'm one of the cops 'round here and I woul---"
"I could care less about who you are and what you do. Just state your business, officer. I have plans and I'm falling behind."
