I am a mature married white woman that has been dating black men for about four years. Whenever I meet a new sexual partner they inevitably want to know how I got started in this lifestyle. When I tell them my story they are either extremely skeptical or extremely aroused. I decided to submit an account of my story here and welcome your response. This story is, in essence, true. I have taken a few liberties but none that substantially change what happened to me.
I grew up in the Midwest in a family that was very ordinary. My parents were quite religious and strict, especially my mother. I was not allowed to date until I was a Senior in high school. I remember feeling like such a dork when all my friends would talk about their boyfriends.
When I finally was allowed to begin dating I was fortunate to find a wonderful guy. He was the typical Midwestern all American boy type. He was extremely handsome and a true gentleman. He didn't make sexual demands, didn't try to grope me when were out in his car. I sometimes wondered if he just wasn't interested in sex, was gay, or just being considerate.
After graduation my boyfriend enlisted in Navy and I went to college. We continued going steady and I remained faithful to him. I was not one of those girls that went wild when she got away from home for the first time. I even decided not to pledge a sorority because I felt they would expect me to be someone I wasn't.
The year I graduated from college my boyfriend was discharged from the Navy and after a very short engagement we were married. I was still a virgin on my wedding night and proud that the first person I gave myself to was to the man I married.
Our life from that point was very normal, or perhaps average would be a better word. We worked hard had sex on Saturday night and were a happy couple. We had two children, a boy then a girl and everything seemed as it should be.
Like many couples after twenty years of marriage things had changed and were less than ideal. Our kids were grown and away at college so we were empty nesters. Our sex life had deteriorated to the occasional quickie one night a month, if that often.
We had discussed ways to jump start our lovemaking but to be frank I thought my husband's suggestions were perverted and he said mine were lame. Eventually we, or at least I, became resigned to the situation.
Then about six years ago a Casino opened about 15 minutes from our home and I began visiting it. First I didn't go too often and spent only small amounts. Then one visit I won a thousand dollars playing slots. The exhilaration I felt was unlike anything I had ever experienced.
I soon was visiting the casino more frequently and spending more. I wanted that feeling again. Eventually I began calling in sick to work so I could visit the Casino and I was spending money that should have gone to pay bills.
I had never thought of myself as a person with an addictive personality but I was surely addicted to gambling. Ultimately I lost my job, our creditors were threatening legal action, and I couldn't keep the problem from my husband any longer.
The night I was officially terminated I knew I had to tell my husband. I will never forget his reaction when I confessed what I had done. He sat quietly listening to me and when I finished he got up and left the room telling me he needed time alone to think.
When he finally came back to talk to me he didn't yell, he didn't threaten, he was actually extremely calm but unquestionably resolved to a very specific course of action. He told me that he would take funds from his retirement account at work to get us caught up with our bills but that there were conditions I would have to agree to. I told him I was willing to do anything he said.
Condition one was that I had to put my name on the casino's banned for life list. Condition two was that I had to seek counseling. Condition three was that he would take over our finances and in fact I would no longer have access to our accounts. Condition four was that I would agree to do whatever he told me to do sexually, in his words, "I would owe him as much kinky, nasty and Perverted sex as he wanted". I agreed and told him again I would do ANYTHING he wanted if he would forgive me.
My husband was true to his word, he withdrew sufficient funds to get our financial affairs back in order and our financial crisis was averted. Even with the loss of my salary we were able to get by comfortably. I put my name on the banned for life list and found a counselor that specialized in gambling addiction and began weekly visits.
My husband had my name removed from our checking and savings accounts as well as our credit cards. I kept expecting him to demand some perverted sexual act but after three months he had not even mentioned it. To be frank he had shown no apparent sexual interest in me since the night I told him about our situation.
I began to feel normal again. My husband was pleasant and he didn't constantly berate me for what I had done. My counseling was going well and while I missed the rush I got from gambling I was beginning to adjust. I wasn't sure but felt we had pretty much put the incident behind us. I couldn't have been more mistaken.
I got the first indication of what my husband's demands regarding kinky perverted sex would be exactly four months after my soulful confession. He came home from work one Friday night and announced it was time for me to begin making good on my promise to satisfy his sexual demands. I was a little surprised at his matter of fact demeanor with regard to the issue.
He told me get my things because we needed to do a little shopping. I asked him what he had planned and he just chuckled and told me I would find out when I needed to know. I was reluctant to blindly follow his request and told him I would need to know what he had in mind or I wasn't going anywhere or for that matter doing anything with him. My assertion did not go over well, in fact the change in his attitude was completely unprecedented.
My husband grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to the front door. He turned to me and said he had half expected an attempt by me to welsh on our agreement. He reminded me of what I had said when he set the conditions for solving the mess I had gotten us into. There was no kindness in his eyes as he glowered down at me and told me that I either keep up my end of our bargain or get out.
I was stunned. I had never seen my husband act like this. I found it difficult to believe this was the same man I had lived with for over 25 years. I stood there looking at him not knowing what to say. Finally, fighting back tears I asked him what he wanted me to do.