"Pop quiz, what is the capital of Spain?" Nik asked the assembled class.
"Tequila," one student called out.
"No, dummy, that is Mexico. Corona is the capital of Spain," a second student interjected.
"It is Madrid, and we're talking cities, not booze," Nik corrected. "How about Japan?"
"Sake!" the first student shouted out.
The class started to laugh at the bad joke.
"And if I said Quebec you'd say wine?" Nik asked the student.
"Nah, everyone knows it is poutine."
The student high-fived one of his buddies sitting next to him.
"At least we know our foods of the world. If I gave you a test on that tomorrow, think you'd get to pass it?"
"One hundred percent. Get me some gumbo down in Louisiana, beef from Texas, and that delicious salmon from British Columbia," student one beamed, rubbing his belly. "I love me my food."
"You love eating food, Trey, that stomach won't stop munching down long enough to breathe," a third student interjected.
"Here is an easy question, Trey, where do you think tacos come from?"
"Singapore!" a different student shouted out.
"It is obviously Mexico, Mr. Knight, duh. Who doesn't like a good taco? Add in some guac and a pop, maybe some burritos, and now we are talking," Trey answered.
"Thanks to Mr. Trey here, he saved all of you another boring geography assignment. There is a huge world out there to explore, a lot more than this city makes you think is out there. I'm going to take a chance, without having looked at your last papers, and make you the same deal. I don't care what theme you choose, as long as it is consistent."
Nik grabbed a set of blank maps from his desk, handing them out as he walked and talked through the rows.
"Put any theme you want and label each blank country on the map with something popular from that theme. I can already guess Mr. Trey is going to choose food. Pick sports, clothing, movies, whatever. The rest of the instructions are on the back of the page. Easy points for you all, am I right?"
He got a few nods from the students, and a couple who just stared off into the void. Nik learned very quickly he did not have motivated, top tier students. No insult, just a simple fact. Having them learn basic geography through rote learning was a fool's errand. They'd get even more bored and he'd lose them in an instant. Here, he put the ball in their court. Nik did not care if Trey only knew world geography because he associated them with food. What mattered is he knew them, not how.
"I'll give you all a few days to get it done, and I should have your papers marked by then. There is a minute left in the class so relax until the bell dismisses you," Nik finished. "Any questions?"
No one put up their hand, instead they all immediately turned around to chat for the final couple minutes. Nik sat down at his desk, looking over the students. He wondered what kind of maps of the world he'd receive on the due date, or even how many he'd get. Half of the class had grades in the dumps, beelining for another spot on the school roster next year.
"Mr. Knight?"
"Yes, Trey, what do you need?"
"You ever have punani before?" he asked, snickering.
"What do you think, Trey?" Nik asked back.
"I don't know, Mr. Knight, it is pretty exotic and expensive. Ever been to the Caribbean?"
"Never had the opportunity, Trey, but I've had different flavors of punani before," he replied, nonchalantly.
"Nigga, I told you he is a freak," one of Trey's friends whispered.
"He doesn't know what it means, he is pretending," another whispered.
"Do you like them sweet or sour?" Trey asked.
"If it is sour then I'd be telling the woman to get her shots," Nik replied, causing Trey's group to laugh. "Takes a lot of cleaning and prep for it to taste divine."
"See, nigga, I told you he is a freak," Trey's friend said.
The bell rang before Trey could ask another follow-up question. The students shuffled out the classroom quickly, noisily, on their way to the next class or to play hooky in the toilet stalls. Nik shook his head at the random conversation Trey brought up. Either he tried to set up the teacher to look foolish, or he legit thought Nik knew what it meant. Either way, one more landmine sidestepped.
His next class sauntered into the room, finding their desks one by one. Some came quicker than others. Suzy walked with the middle of the pack, Sammy at her side, as they found their seats. Nik grabbed a handful of papers from the table, passing them out to the students one by one.
"I marked your last papers, class. Some did well, others need to work on their spelling and grammar. I know with spell checkers and auto-correct on our computers and phones makes it easy for us, but sometimes you'll be needing a basic, boring, pen and paper," he started. "End of the week I'll be assigning another small paper. I'll have a list of historical figures attached to the assignment. You'll get to pick whoever you want from the list."
"Is it going to be another list of dead, white men?" one student called out.
"Shigeru does have white skin but I don't think he'd pass for a white guy," Mr. Knight replied to the student.
"Shige who?" the student asked.
One of the student's friends tapped his shoulder. Taking two fingers, he pulled back the skin near his eyes to slant them.
"I hear you talking about your games. I'm sure you know Super Mario. Now is the time to learn a little about the man who made the series."
"What does that have to do with history class?" a different student asked.
"Basic research skills. Anything can be considered history if it happens in the past. I want you all to practice looking deeper than a Wikipedia page, and I figure learning about famous entertainers will get me a few more submissions than no shows. Show of hands, who would like to do a paper on a dead, white man from 100 years ago?"
None of the students raised their hand. How many did it because they answered truthfully, and how many did it because they did not want to be singled out, Nik did not know.
"Now raise your hand if you would rather research a famous singer or sports star?"
Almost all the hands went up.
"Democracy in action. Now the ball is in your court. It'll be a lengthy list with a lot of choices. I'm letting you all know ahead of time so you can get prepared."
Surprisingly, his choice of assignments got the class doing a modicum of work. Between the casual conversations about fucking, drugs, skipping class, and other crimes he did not know if were true or bravado, one or two students spent a minute or two looking over the assignment paper. This led to a relatively peaceful period until the class finished and another took its place before lunch time. Suzy and Sammy didn't say a word on the way out, keeping a low profile for the moment.
X
Nik sat in his classroom after school, grading some papers that were magically submitted on time. He looked over the titles of a few, noticing when he told the students they could write on any historical figure, they called his bluff.
"Ah shit, this is going to be fucking annoying to deal with," he commented under his breath.
Scratching his head, what else could he do but keep his word. It did not take very long to find out this particular student copy and pasted from this historical figure's IAFD page.
"Thank fucking goodness they are all eighteen and above," he added.
"Who is over eighteen and above?" Valerie asked, poking her head into the empty classroom.
"Oh, hey Valerie, just this paper on historical figures I had the students research. One of them decided to do it on a pornstar...well, more than one of them."
He handed the paper off to Valerie, the hot principal sitting on the edge of his desk. She had shut the door behind her nonchalantly.
"I'm more surprised this student chose a black female pornstar. I figured it'd be all white chicks," she commented, flipping over the papers.
"Oh, there are those too."
"Just what is it you're teaching in this history class, Mr. Knight?" Valerie teased, giving him a wink. "Do I need to sit in one of your classes?"
"Ha, you'd distract me more than dealing with the students calling me a cracker for the thousandth time. I told them they could research any historical figure to try and motivate them instead of needing to learn about a bunch of people they don't give a shit about. At least they did the assignment."
"Don't worry, like you said, they are over eighteen and they did something more than fight in the halls. I've got your back if it spills out to Miss Mo'Neesha."
