Guys, I have a problem. I have a thing for older White ladies with big butts. I don't remember exactly when I realized this, but it thoroughly creeps me out. What kind of pervert lusts after someone's grandma? Try as I might, I couldn't get rid of these forbidden sexual feelings. In case you're wondering who this is, the name is Sylvester Saint-Mathieu. I was born in the town of Quartier Morin, on the northern coast of the island of Haiti and moved to the City of Montreal, Quebec, a decade ago, with my parents, Louis and Geraldine Saint-Mathieu. Today I live in the City of Ottawa, Ontario, and attend Carleton University. I'm a psychology major, which is ironic considering how twisted my own psyche is at the moment.
Since I couldn't banish them, I set about satisfying my sexual urges. I was hanging out at the Saint Laurent Mall with my buddies Ralph Etienne and Jeffrey Edmond, the only Haitian guys I ever ran into at Carleton University. We were coming out of HMV, where Jeff bought two DVDs, Hancock and Coming To America. He's the most afro-centric brother I know, and has a veritable library of Black movies at home. He's engaged to a tall, fine-looking Ethiopian chick named Bethlehem Bogale. My other buddy Ralph is just the opposite. His girlfriend Minerva Chang is Chinese, and he hasn't dated a Black woman since Bill Clinton was in the White House.
Me? I'm perennially single. I date women of all races, because I ain't that picky. My ex-girlfriend Anne did a real number on me, man. That Haitian diva stomped all over my heart. That's why I'm taking a break from Black chicks at the moment. I see a lot of sisters walking around Ottawa with White guys, so I decided to try to get myself some White pussy. Unfortunately for me, the kind of White woman I lusted after rarely goes for the brothers. When was the last time you saw a White woman over fifty with a Black man? It's mostly young White women who date interracially. Older White women tend to stick with White guys from their social class and age bracket. I thought I'd never get a chance to taste "mature" White pussy, until I met Doris Jeanne Diamant, D.J. to her friends.