"This is such fucking bullshit!"
Nineteen years old and I still couldn't even watch holoporn!
"Oh God! It's so big. Fuck me with that big black dick Daddy."
The cock I could see, the pair projected translucently lifelike in front of me. But for some reason, the censors linked to my retinas blurred out everything below her collarbone into a pixelated mess. It was better than before my birthday,
barely
, because at least I could access porn the holonet, if only to make out the way his dick disappeared into her blurs.
His hand was closed around her dark red pony-tail, pulling her neck back with every thrust. I could see in her fluttering eyes such a look of intense pleasure, her body so delicate compared to his hulking frame. Each push threatened to force the projection off her hands and knees. But none of the important female parts were visible to a loser like me.
At least that's how I felt.
I'd picked the porno stream that looked the most like Rebecca, the girl I was assigned as a match during my annual exam. I hadn't actually seen her tits; I'd been so excited I barely lasted a minute inside her. So I figured I might last longer if I came before our date.
Besides at nineteen now, I was
supposed
to be able to watch whatever I wanted without the chip blocking everything except his cock. Only the more I watched this massive black dick drill into the petite model, the more I thought back to Dr. Johnson's comments about Rebecca's particular tastes.
"Oh fuck, it's so good! I'm cumming again, I can't stop cumming!"
Again and again, I found my eyes drawn to his massive frame and almost monstrous cock. Her cries of pleasure poured out through the speakers, so much more than the delicate little moans I created when directed to lap at my own creampie between Rebecca's legs.
Was this the kind of mind-numbing pleasure that modern women had come to expect? Could I ever be expected to actually compete with men like that?
I was so hard, barely able to control myself at even such a small amount of visible stimulation. Without even realizing, my penis, less than a quarter of his size, had sprung to life in my hand. I pumped mindlessly, almost instantly reaching the point of no return. I looked into the beauty's eyes and imagined myself creating such a rapturous glow with Rebecca.
The first spurt of cum struck me in the eye. The next landed on my lips, where almost involuntarily, I licked at the salty drops of my own shame, reminding me so slightly of Rebecca's taste the day before.
*****
"Just... hung around, really," I said, lamely.
The conversation had been painfully stilted.
Rebecca looked beautiful. Her breasts weren't especially large, but the neckline of her dress accentuated every perfect curve. I kept breaking eye-contact, trying to stop myself from openly staring. I barely noticed the effort she put into her dark hair, styled to one side.
"I'm not like a slut machine, you know. You can't just hang around, putting in nice guy tokens, hoping you'll score. You need to, like, say something. Be interesting!"
"I'm sorry," I stammered.
"Whatever..."
"I just... I don't know what to say."
"I dunno, is it so hard? Maybe start with what you did, what you want-"
"You!" I blurted.
She smiled, almost sadly.
"I'm here! But I won't be long if all you do is stare at my tits."
My face went red.
"I'm sorry-"
"Stop apologizing!"
Then something snapped.
"I've just never seen tits before!"
It was way too loud. The couple behind me turned and gave a nasty look. But Rebecca just smiled, stifling a giggle.
"What, like not even a porno?"
"No! No... I mean, I tried. I'm supposed to be old enough, but..."
She softened, her mouth opening in recognition.
"Oh... the beta blockers!"
"What?"
"Dr. Johnson told me. Like a hundred years ago, or whenever porn got super popular, lots of guys would spend all day looking at porn. Of course, it was just like basic screens then. Kind of sad when you think about it."
"Really?"
History had never been my strong suit.
"It got so bad, lots of guys never got jobs or girlfriends. Then they blamed women. It got nasty, so the government stepped in with the FAMILE Act."
She took a drink, then cocked her head at me.
"You know, you should really read up on this stuff. It's where you get your stipend."
"I guess I just was never good at history..."
"So what are you good at?"
"I dunno..."
"So what do you do all day?"
"Mostly games, I guess."
"Don't you think that's kind of a problem?"
I looked down, embarrassed.
"It's okay!" Her hand reached out to touch mine. "I like games too, but just playing them doesn't really do anything for anybody."
"I guess not..."
"Hey, it's not like you should give anything up. Just, you know, find something to do."
"I guess I'm not really good at anything..."
She shrugged.
"Who is? Pick something you might like. If you hate it, or suck, well, whatever. You tried."
I thought for a second.
" "I guess I like to draw," I tried.
She smiled.
"There you go."
"It's just art."
"At least it's trying to make someone happy, not just yourself."
"I couldn't actually show it!" I protested. "It's just doodles, well some colors, but-"