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A black man posts an ad on Craigslist for a naked black female escort on Nude Day and ends up with a white woman.
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A single, black man looking for a single, black woman, as a Nude Day escort for an afternoon of naked fun and sun at the beach. Do not apply to this ad, if you are uncomfortable being naked or being around others, who are naked. There may be some kissing, hugging, groping, and fondling, but there will be absolutely no sex and no exchange of fluids. There is a $300.00 stipend for your time, trouble, and traveling expenses.
I'm looking for a good looking black woman to play my current girlfriend to make my old girlfriend jealous. Someone possessing not only good looks but also a shapely body, intelligence, and a fun sense of humor, along with some acting skills will get the job.
Please respond to Darnell at the above Craigslist's e-mail address with your name, photo, and phone number.
Not well thought out, Darnell placed his classified ad too late, a week before Nude Day, to find someone to respond. Too wrapped up in his own misery, his decision to attend the Nude Day barbeque was last minute. Besides, even if he had posted his Nude Day ad earlier, he didn't think he'd get anyone, anyway, who'd want to attend a naked Nude Day barbeque with him, a stranger, and spend the day naked with a bunch of other naked strangers. Really, what kind of woman would willingly strip off her clothes and spend the day naked in front of people she didn't even know? Maybe, he thought, someone would respond because he was offering three hundred dollars, but God only knows the kind of woman he'd get, what they'd look like, and how they'd act like in person. He cringed to imagine the folly of his error by placing such a desperately despicable Nude Day advertisement.
Deciding to go to the Nude Day barbeque, after he swore he couldn't bear to see his ex-girlfriend naked and in the arms of another man, who was naked, too, the want advertisement was his last minute, desperate attempt to win his ex-girlfriend, Felicia, back by making her jealous. Having fun just writing the ad and imagining Felicia possessively wild with jealousy, Darnell envisioned his ex-girlfriend begging him to forgive, forget, and restart their relationship. Now, with second thoughts, he should have stopped there, just written the ad without posting it. Honestly, he didn't think he'd receive any response to his advertisement. A hopeless, love sick act to win back his girlfriend, posting an ad was a good idea at the time, but now that he saw it in print, he felt like the pathetic loser that he was.
Even if he received responses to his ad, he had so little time to meet the woman and to make the arrangements for his Nude Day plan. Moreover, having just met the woman, how could he pull it all off without their role playing looking suspect and him looking ridiculous? If anyone answered his cry for help at all, he could only imagine the type of woman, who'd answer such an advertisement for a naked Nude Day escort. He didn't have to wait long to find out the type of woman, who'd answer such a request. He had more than a dozen responses the first day and a dozen more the next day.
"Hi Darnell, my name is Rhonda and I saw your ad on Craig's List. Attached is my nude photo."
"Hi Darnell, my name is Amanda and I saw your ad on Craig's List. Attached is my nude photo."
"Hi Darnell, my name is Diane and I saw your ad on Craig's List. Attached is my nude photo.
"Hi Darnell, my name is Juliet, Delonda, Amber, Tamicka, Kennisha, Elaine, Clairice, and Yolanda..."
"Blah, blah, blah. All the replies read the same. Boring. I can only imagine what they're like in person. Based upon the sameness of their responses, none of these women would fool Felicia. I should have told them to impress me with their intelligence and creativity, instead of with their naked bodies. I should have told them not to send me a naked photo of themselves," said Darnell to his friend, Terrell. "They all look like strippers and/or hookers to me."
"Gees, Darnell, are you kidding me? You have some hot women here. I'd pick any one of these three African American princesses," he said holding up their photos that Darnell printed out on his computer. "They all have big tits. Definitely, you'd make Felicia jealous, when seeing you with any of these three naked Nubian beauties on your arm. If you don't want them, I'll take them," he said with a laugh.
"All they'd have to do is open their mouths to ruin things and make me look like the pathetic, love sick ass that I am, Terrell. I'm trying to get Felicia back by making her jealous and not scare her further away, by making her think that I lost my mind in purposely trying to make her jealous by hiring an escort for the day."
"If you still feel that way about her, then don't go to the Nude Day barbeque. Seeing her in the arms of some other naked Dude will only make you crazy. I don't understand why you'd put yourself through that misery," said Terrell.
"Because we always attended the Nude Day barbeque and these were my friends, long before Felicia was my girlfriend," said Darnell with sadness.
"Maybe you should just forget about her and about the Nude Day barbeque, Darnell. There are plenty of women that would love to date someone like you," said Terrell. "You're a good looking guy with a good job. If I had a sister, I'd want her to date you," said his friend laughing.
"Thanks Terrell, but how can I forget about her, when I still love her? Even if I found someone else, I'd still be thinking of Felicia," he said looking away from Terrell to look out his bedroom window. "You're probably right about the Nude Day barbeque," said Darnell, as if talking to himself. "Maybe I should just stay home and get drunk."
"What about this one? You haven't even opened this one up, yet," said Terrell pointing to Darnell's computer screen.
"Oh, I didn't even see that one." Darnell opened the E-mail, while Terrell took hold of the mouse to open the attachment.
"Wow! Look at her, a white hot babe. She's the best looking one of the bunch. Too bad she didn't respond with a nude photo. Boy, I can only imagine what she'd look like naked."
"Do you mind, Terrell?" Darnell regained control of his mouse. "She is very pretty for a white woman, but I advertised for a black woman," he said looking at her face. "I never expected a white woman would answer the ad, especially one so pretty."
"What difference does the color of her skin make, Darnell?" Terrell suddenly took the high road, a road that he seldom traveled. "In case you've already forgotten what she looked like, Felicia was dark enough to pass as a black woman. Matter of fact, the first time that I met her, I thought she was from the Caribbean.
"Yeah, I suppose," said Darnell. "Actually, if Felicia saw me with this Caucasian beauty, she'd be jealous. Definitely, she'd want me back. Actually, now that I see her photo, this might work."
"That's right," said Terrell laughing. "Once you go black, you never go back to those pasty, white, Casper the Ghost men."
"I never dated a white woman," said Darnell with a face full of consternation. "I'd be nervous about taking her through this neighborhood. The sisters are worse than the brothers, when mixing white with black. Moreover, what in the Hell would we talk about? What would we have in common?"
"She's no different than Felicia and, when you first dated, you had plenty to talk about and plenty in common," said Terrell.