Waiting All Along

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?"

"Just get you shit and get out!" He hissed

"Gladly!"

And that was the last thing she said to him before she walked out of his life almost ten years ago. He knew he hurt her, knew he could never forgive her for her dishonesty, but by God ten whole years of the gut wrenching agony of being away from her, of thinking his trust was misplaced only to find that it was all a sickening lie. He could have been happy, could have had a family by now, could have had it all. Now he had no one to trust, just as it had been when he made her leave. What was he to do now? Surely after ten years she would have gone on with her life, had a career, had her husband one that loved and treated her with trust and placed her above all else, God she must have a million kids by now. He always knew that she wanted a big family and the family dog. She wanted it all, and he'd been so sure that he was going to be the one to give it to her. But the years have made him bitter without her, as much as he hoped she was happy and loved, he hoped the she was in despair and dread just like he was in. 'But that was selfish, she had already gone through this all because of me. Shit! I should have listened.'

"Happy birthday to you!" they all sung the last line of the song. Grace Miller walked through the crowd of friends young and old and neighbors, making her way to her son holding his birthday cake. Grace stood at 5'5, a beautiful black woman, straight processed hair that went to her shoulders, big brown eyes, flat nose but that only added to her allure and slightly thick lips. Now she wore a plain white shirt and black jeans and a white Nike sneakers, without overdoing it, she looked completely relaxed and at home. She set the cake on the round mahogany table now covered with a white table cloth, young Joshua Miller could not contain his joy as a wide smile spread across his face and his eyes lit with amazement as he gazed on his one foot cake with his name on it. Grace ran a hand through the soft shaggy hair and gently kissed his forehead. "Happy birthday honey" she said to him.

"Hey Josh," Tommy Silverman said, he was Joshua's best friend and lived in the apartment upstairs, an athletic and competitive pair they were, Joshua stood at 4'8 and Tommy at 4'9. Josh was light brown with a gold complexion never in need of a tan, soft curly hair, straight nose, stubborn mouth and green eyes. Tommy was milk white with red curly hair, a crooked nose, thin lips and just about the bluest eyes ever seen, just like the most beautiful summer's day sky. "Can I blow the candles with you?" Tommy asked.

"Yeah Josh!" Greg Wright, the father of another of Josh's friends shouted "blow out those candles cause I can't wait to have a piece of that cake!" they all shouted their agreements.

"Sure Tommy!" Josh replied still goggle eyed, "you can help me blow em out, then we'll see who blows em out faster. Watch us mom!"

'OK hun," Grace said "I'll count you down, ready, seeeeettttttt, go!"

Both boys began blowing as if their lives depended on it, it all ended as quickly as it began, Josh held up his hand victorious.

"I won," he snickered to Tommy "even if I didn't, because it's my birthday!"

"I got you a cool present Josh, wanna open it now or later?" Tommy asked.

Josh looked around and saw everyone eying him and the cake, "You know what, maybe we can wait til later, everyone's really looking at the cake." He confided to Tommy, whose eyes swept the crowd as well and nodded his head in agreement.

Grace stepped in from there and began distributing generous amounts of the cake to the party goers, the party was smooth sailing from there, the kids danced and song out loud to the latest Radio Disney CD, they knew all the Hannah Montana lyrics.

Later that evening after seeing the last parents out, which happened to be Chris and Marcy Silverman, Josh and Grace collapsed in the sofa.

"Where did the time go, bud?"Grace asked after several moments of silence. "Your nine now, half way to 18 and half way to leaving me alone."

Josh hated when his mom got emotional whenever she thought too far into the future, he knew he'd always be there for his mom and even made up his mind to go to the state university just so he could live at home, but that was years from now, "Oh come on mom, you know I'd never leave you when I'm 18," he rose and bent to kiss her cheeks "instead I'm gonna leave as soon as I hit 16." He whispered then sped off to his room laughing. She threw a pillow to his retreating back, "brat!" she yelled at his back, but he didn't hear. Clean up had to begin now, she told herself and rose to get to it.

"We've found her Mr. Tate." Investigator John O'Neal said to Paul Tate, but said nothing more than that, Paul sat there staring at John, waiting for the expected report, he sat behind his rosewood office desk, his laptop closed, leaning back in his executive chair, the air around him was potent, and you knew you were in the presence of the boss. His blond hair cut layered to frame his face blue eyes cool and calculating and his stubborn mouth set. After moments of silence it was obvious that prompting was needed.

"Well?" he asked impatiently, eager to get the information he desired.

"Well she's changed her first name from Laura to Grace, she has a son with the same last name 'Miller', and she's living in California now." John stated as if he memorized cue cards.

Paul got up and went to his mini cooler and retrieved an Evian bottle inclining his head to John and John shook his head to the unspoken offer of something to drink. Contemplating he began to speak as he walked back to his seat 'Name change, a kid, OK, no husband, no boyfriend?" Paul asked digesting the information.

"No, doesn't have any record of them here, just a few dates but nothing solid, the last report is that her son celebrated his ninth birthday a couple weeks ago" John replied, but this had Paul coughing and gasping for air as the water he swallowed went down the wrong pipe.

"Nine years old? Are you sure?"

"Yeah I'm sure, from what I gathered it was the nicest little party," he began taking his voice a bit lower and softening his deep baritone as if speaking to the children themselves, "she had it in her apartment, all the kids in the neighborhood went and the music was good and she made them some Jamaican style food, I heard the kids talked about it for days on end."

"Did you get any pictures, John?"

"Of the party? No, but I know the party store that they bought this great one foot..."

"Not the damn party John, the kid, do you have photos?"

"The kid is Joshua, Paul and no I haven't got any pictures"

"Why the hell did I hire you if you can't get basic information!" Paul erupted.

"There's two things wrongs with that statement Pauly partner" John stated, calling him the nickname he knew Paul hated, "one I'm not on your stinking payroll and two, you wanted me to find out where she is and I did, so quit acting up on me!" he continued coolly watching Paul get his temper back under control.

"I'm sorry bro, it's just that at every turn I feel confused and betrayed and I know I shouldn't take it out on you cause you've done nothing but help, look I'm really sorry about that and I'm really thankful for your help here." Paul leaned over his desk and apologized, he realized that he'd have to get used to doing it a lot if he chose to pursue this. "But think of this John, she left almost 10 years ago and her son is now 9, since I know now that she was faithful only to me, then there's a huge possibility that Joshua could be my son."

"Yeah, I thought about that too when I found out last night and I'm waiting for information to get back to me about the birth certificate, which I'm expecting won't have any name's on there in the father's slot, just like she gave him her last name."

"God, what a fool I was to hang on every word of my family, jeez and they went so far to make it all believable," Paul said, anger and depression evident in his voice, while he gazed out the window looking out at the busy New York street "do you know she cried, begging me to believe her, God she cried," he turned around facing John now, water still in his hand, "and I yelled at her called her a whore, a slut, a gold digger and a whole bunch of other nasty names, I did that. All that time she knew," he paused and took a sip of water because his throat went so dry all of a sudden "she knew she was carrying my child, and she kept it. God I'm such a fool!" he said and collapsed right back into his chair sulked and feeling sorry for himself and his situation. John just sat and stared unsure what words could be used to comfort his friend. Jeez, he thought, how could a family be so cruel?

Paul emerged from the California airport clutching the paper that had her address on it in one hand and a small traveling bag in the other. He was going to try to find her after all this time and what, what would he do when he saw her, apologize? Would she even recognize him? Would she even talk to him? He headed out front to meet the associate that would be picking him up from the airport and take him to his hotel, he tried hard to put any negative reception that could be had out of his mind.

He sat outside her apartment building in his vehicle staring up at her apartment since 6 in the morning, that was an hour and half ago. He knew they were buzzing in her apartment, what wonderful morning rituals was he left out of, he wondered. 7:35 he saw her emerge from her building in a white 2010 Acadia, even though she was behind the wheels he knew then that she hadn't changed a bit and if she had, she was a lot lovelier than before. He switched his car into drive and followed her, had he really been reduced to stalking? Her car pulled over right at the entrance of Monte Clare Prep and the back doors of the car opened and a red haired boy emerged on one side and a boy with gold complexion on the other. Was that his son? He wondered still too far away to see or hear much. The boys started off to the school's gate then turned to the Acadia, the boy he assumed could only be Josh grinned at the red head and walked to the Acadia, and bent at the waist towards the driver's side, the red head them followed suite, then the boys were off obviously engaged in a hearty discussion. 'Oh my, they kissed her goodbye' he thought, remembering when he had access to such simple treasures.

She drove off; he followed till she drove into the Police Station, 'did she know she was being followed?' He wondered 'was that the reason she pulled into the station' He pulled over just outside the station and watched her alight from the vehicle, legs first, 4 inch heels, 'wow she must be working out' he thought. A black skirt that stopped at the knee but ridden up during the drive to reveal a pair of brown sexy thighs, he watched her yank the skirt down, putting it back in place. Almost as if she forgot something she bent over by the waist, ass stuck out and prominent in the air. She leaned back into the vehicle to retrieve whatever it was that she left. "Holy shit." He muttered to himself telling his dick to behave, he ran a hand over it. He glanced around and realized that he wasn't the only male in the vicinity appreciative of the view and that stirred up a bout of anger. Finally, she retreated holding an insulated cup, briefcase in one hand, cup in the other and ID around her neck she headed towards the building. 'My baby's in law' he thought and watched her disappear. He needed a strategy.