Unforgettable Fire: 10 Years After

Hey!

So, this is my very first time writing here! I apologize for any mistakes. English is not my first Language, but I reviewed this a thousand times.

This is basically a love story with some sex in it (but no real sex in this first part. I promise there will be some in the next two parts to come).

I really hope you like it and give me your honest opinion about it. Don't be afraid to tell the truth (don't be rude, though). I need helpful criticism.

Enjoy it!

Nana.

*****

I was staring at my closet, not knowing what to wear to Mr. Mulinski party. I wanted something sexy to make me feel confident. I wanted to turn heads and have eyes follow me around the room, something to boost my ego, something to tell me that even though Lucian didn't want me anymore, there were men out there who'd wish they could get their hands on me even if it were just for one night. And to be honest I actually planned on letting someone put their hands on me tonight.

My eyes fell on a white dress I had bought years ago, but never worn.

A white dress. Someone used to tell me I looked beautiful in white.

"I love your skin on that white dress."

I shook my head as if to drive the memory away. With the divorce I had been thinking a lot about the past these few months. Thinking about how everything went wrong so many years ago, and how it still affected my life to this day.

Making up my mind and deciding not overthink anything tonight, I proceeded to get ready. White dress on, I put on the reddest lipstick I owned and went down the stairs.

Lucian was in his office, packing his books. When I came in he froze, with his mouth hanging open.

The spaghetti strap white dress I chose was knee length and very tight on my curves due to all the comfort food I had been eating throughout the divorce process. The cut was low and I felt my breasts straining whenever I breathed too deeply.

"I'm leaving or I'll be late. Can you lock?" I said to him, my body already half turned towards the door.

He just stared at me dumbly, not answering.

I could see his green eyes darkening as they roamed over my breasts. I smiled.

Good.

That was the reaction I was aiming for.

But not from him.

"Do.You.Still.Have.Your.Keys?" I spoke again, making myself clearer.

My tone of voice brought Lucian back from his trance.

"Yes." He finally said, clearing his throat.

I put my coat on and I was already by the door when he said on my back.

"Are you spreading your legs tonight?"

I froze with my hand on the doorknob before I turned around, threw my keys on the couch and went back to his office - where he was still packing - and started a fight that ended up with the police knocking on the door after a neighbour called, alarmed by the screams.

As I result I was, not so fashionably, very late by the time I left.

I stepped out the tube station cursing under my breath. I was very, very late.

Walking as fast as my stilettos would allow me to, I wanted to flee the cold January air blowing on my face like a million pins prickling my skin.

I hated the cold.

I hated London's whether.

I hated Lucian.

I kept replaying the fight we'd had just before I left home. He had been gone for a month now, but came back tonight to pack the rest of his things.

We actually had what is called an amicable divorce process. He took the car, but agreed to let me keep the house, and even our Labrador, Massie.

The thing he really wanted the most was to get away from me.

More than anything I refused to act like the bitter betrayed woman who would try and get back at him by taking everything he owned in the divorce. Fuck him.

He could have walked away with everything for all I cared. All I wanted was to be free from the title of his wife, and he could go on and be happy shagging my intern until death did them part.

I turned a corner and spotted Mr. Mulinski - now new - old Victorian mansion. I had worked on the restoration of that house for two years, time in which my marriage and everything I thought was my life crumbled to dust.

-------------------------

TWO MONTHS AGO

"You can't just blame me for this, Hero! This is as much your fault as it is mine!" Lucian threw his words at me like knives.

"Are you saying is my bloody fault you shagged my fucking intern?! Did I make you fuck her against your will, my darling?!"

My mother's Latin blood was always very evident on me whenever the worst of my temper came to surface.

An hour ago I had walked into Lucian's office to find my nineteen-year-old intern's legs up on his shoulders, while she screamed like a bloody porn star.

After the initial shock, for the briefest of seconds, I felt the pain of betrayal, but that was immediately replaced by the most genuine urge of laughter I've ever had in life. I always laughed in the wrong situations. It was almost pathological.

I stood there, by the opened door, laughing so hard my body shook and I had to bend down, the muscles on my abdomen hurting with the effort. I didn't even notice when the girl rushed past me and left until Lucian started muttering words like "You are insane" while he looked for his pants.

Next thing I knew I had slapped him across the face with all the strength I could master before leaving and telling him he'd hear from my lawyer.

-------------------------

Inside the mansion, I gave my coat to a nice looking young man in the foyer. I had spent so much time in that place it felt strangely like home to me.

Admiring the general view I wandered around looking at rooms which were filled with rich people looking their best.

Mr. Mulinski was an important man. Important meaning very rich. He owned an import/export company and brought me Brazilian coffee every time we had a meeting to talk about the details of the restoration.

To my delight, the dress had the expected effect on most of the man present, and some of the women too. They looked at me for a moment too long for it to be considered mere curiosity. I saw eyes roaming over my curves with looks of lust, admiration, desire, envy...

I knew myself to me an attractive woman. I had enough confidence to admit that. I liked to take care of myself and always look my best. I did it for me, for love of myself, but still couldn't deny it felt fantastic to have other people acknowledge I looked good. Nonetheless, I also knew beauty is on the eye of the beholder and I might not be the ideal looking woman to some people. I had chosen to let my thick mane of black hair loose, and now and then I touched my curls to make sure they were still behaving. The white dress made the golden brown of my skin stand out.

As content as I felt with my appearance, anger was crawling under my skin. Lucian had called me a whore. I was the whore when he was the one sleeping with nineteen year old interns, so I figured I could dilute the anger running through my veins with some alcohol. With that in mind I went for the bar.

Behind the bar was a tall, bulky bartender wearing a red bow tie.

"How can I serve you, Miss?" The man's voice was deep, and I could tell he was Scottish by the way his r's purred. He was staring at me intently with a lecherous look on his amber eyes.

I was a terrible person to flirt with. I didn't know how to behave under such circumstances. So when the handsome bartender asked me how he could serve me, I laughed a loose, spontaneous laugh to hide my awkwardness.

"You could serve me," I started, eyeing him amused. "By giving me a shot of vodka and a glass filled up to the rim with Pinot Noir."

His smile was wide and contagious.

"Wouldn't you like anything else?" He said as he slid me my shot, and the ambiguity of his words was not lost on me, but I ignored it.

I drank the shot down in the fastest one-gulp possible. I glanced up at him and his amused eyes were wide as saucers. I licked my lips.

"I can see you really needed that."

"Oh, you have no fucking idea." I replied sincerely, taking a generous sip of my wine. The liquid had hardly reached my stomach when Mr. Mulinski spoke from behind me.

"Ah! Mrs. Connors!"

I winced.

"Oh, no, Mr. Mulinski," I said, turning around to face him. "Call me Hero, please."

I was no longer Mrs. Connors, and most definitely would not stand being called that anymore.

"As you wish, my darling. I'm just so glad you came." He said taking my hand and kissing it with affectation.

Affectation was the one word to describe Mr. Mulinski. He was a man in his late fifties, unmarried, filthy rich, and liked to wear unusually coloured suits. The present one was a dark, deep purple.

"Oh, you look astonishing, as ever!" He clapped his hands together and looked up and down my body, his gaze lingering on my breasts. "I must introduce you to Vanessa! She loved your work and wants you to work on our cottage!"

"I'm sorry, Sr. Who's Vanessa?" I asked confused.

"Well, my companion, of course." He replied as if it were obvious and I was a idiot for not knowing that.

"Oh, of course." I'm not sure I completely hid the surprise on my voice.

If I had to guess I'd never say his companion would be a woman.

Mr. Mulinski offered me an arm and I took it, happily. My glass of wine secured on my other hand.

We went up the stairs and he led me up to my favourite part of the house.

Upstairs there was a glass dome right in the centre of the house. When he took me there the first time the thing was nothing but a hole in the ceiling but I fell in love with the idea of the sunlight penetrating the colourful glass and turning that room into a magical, ethereal place. A place one could go to to run away from real life.

Right now, the only lights illuminating the room were the artificial ones and the magic was lost, but I saw a few faces looking up in admiration all the same.

Mr. Mulinski walked us towards a group of women talking gathered by a hearth which was rendered to a decorative item these days.

"Vanessa, my dear." He called and a woman dressed in a lovely black, lace dress whirled around.

She was at least ten years younger than him, for sure. The lines marking her face were softer than the ones on his. Her eyes were the softest brown and they lit up immediately when she saw him.

"Oliver." She sung in a sweet voice, beaming at him.

A sting of jealousy possessed me for an instant.

What I wouldn't give to feel what was necessary to look at a man like that. I didn't think I ever gave Lucian such a look of love and the thought made me feel a bit guilty.

I had always thought I loved Lucian. But when he cheated and the dominant feeling on me was hurt pride instead of a broken heart, I was forced to reconsider the idea that what I felt for him was actual love. After all I had married him just to fill a hole.

"My dear, this is Hero. The architect who did this marvellous job." Mr. Mulinski said gesturing back and forth to his surroundings and me.

Vanessa, then, directed her radiant smile at me, and I couldn't help but to be warmed by it. I smiled back and she pulled me in for a quick, motherly hug.

"Oh, but you are truly talented, my darling! This house is absolute perfection." She said as she let me go.

I smiled happily. At least, my professional life was going steady.

"Thank you, Vanessa. Can I call you Vanessa?" I asked, insure. I didn't know her to be a Miss or a Mrs. Something. But she was one of those people who made you feel comfortable around them, so I figured she wouldn't mind me being so blunt and intimate.

"Oh, of course, please. Call me Vanessa!" She squeezed my hand on hers. "Come here and let's talk about a little cottage I'd like you to fix."

We sat down on a small couch by a corner and talked fluidly for what felt like forever. In that time I emptied my glass of wine and was beginning to feel giddy and warm all over, and was faintly aware of my laughing being too loud. Vanessa herself drank what seemed to be champagne and her cheeks were pink against her pale skin.

I felt strangely comfortable talking to her, as if she were someone I've known forever. There was something about her, a familiarity in her voice and her soft, brown eyes which were slightly slanted, and gave her whole face a sophisticated and mysterious air. Had I ever met her before? Nah. She just had one of those faces.

I was laughing at something Vanessa had just told me when she fixated her eyes at something behind me.

"Ah! Come here, my dear!" She called to what turned out to be a someone behind me, as she gesture for them to come closer.

In that moment, I could have had a billion random thoughts in my head. I could have been thinking about anything, but in that moment, that specific moment in time, the image of a familiar face I had not seen in ten years flashed in my mind, just like that, out of the blue. I thought of him sometimes, more seldomly now than I used to. But I thought of him. Still, when I turned around, I expected to see anyone, anyone in the whole wide world, but him.

Instantly all the air on my lungs vanished and I felt a burning behind my eyes with the threatening of tears. Every single hair in my body prickled, I felt them rising from my scalp to my spine, and I shivered slightly. The only thing my body managed to do was keep my heart beating then, because when I tried to speak nothing came out.

I took the deepest breath of my life and I spoke his name at the same time Vanessa was finishing her sentence.

"Hero, dear, this is my nephew-"

"Finn." We both said.

I was afraid if I blinked a tear would fall and betray me. So I just kept my eyes widely opened, gazing up at him as one would a ghost. Which was exactly what he was. A ghost.

Vanessa said something.

"Yes, we are acquainted. Hello, Hero." I heard his voice. Had he said my name?

I didn't registered any words. It was like watching a movie in a different language without any subtitles. I watched every scene, carefully, but didn't understand anything being said.

His eyes were what was so familiar about Vanessa. Those brown eyes which used to be the first thing I saw every morning when I woke up to find them staring at me with wrinkles on their corners, put there by his smile. A smile which I used to be the reason for.

Right now, there was no such thing as a smile on his eyes. I saw a flash of shock pass through them so quickly, someone who didn't know those eyes so well wouldn't have noticed. But I did. I saw his lips go white, his eyes go wide, right before it all faded and his face turned into a mask of indifference. Finn just looked right through me, nothing on his features suggesting that seeing me again was affecting him half as much as it affected me. None of the people around us would ever dream of thinking that once he'd had his lips on my skin whispering 'I love you' over and over again, or that I had run my hands over his wavy, dark hair while his head was in between my legs.

Hundreds of memories flooded my mind, and I shook my head slowly to clear it. I saw Finn's lips move, and was vaguely aware of Vanessa's voice, speaking to him and then to me. I forced my eyes to leave his face.

"I'm sorry. What?" I asked, turning to Vanessa and blinking several times.

"I asked, are you alright? You seem to be a little...disturbed." She was leaning towards me, her voice holding a hint of concern. Then she turned to Finn.

"Finland, dear. Can you get Hero a glass of water?"

"No, no, no! I'm fine!" I said too quickly, turning my head back to Finn. He stood there completely impassive. I couldn't take that cold look on his eyes, not when it was directed at me. I turned back to Vanessa.

"I'm quite fine, really." I got up too quickly, and oscillated on my feet. But before I could fall back to the couch, I felt his strong arms behind my back, steadying me.

This close to him I was able to smell his skin. He still smelled exactly the same. Like pine needles and that smell that was intrinsic to him, which triggered nostalgic feelings long forgotten in the back of my head. I remembered the way his smell would stick to my pillow even after he'd leave my bed, but mostly I remembered how it felt to press my nose to his skin.

He was so close I felt his breath hot on my temple. His narrow brown eyes met my doe-like ones and I saw that he was thinking about same things I was. I could almost see the memories flashing behind his eyes, along with some other emotion I couldn't quite put my finger on. Nostalgia or regretfulness, maybe. I wasn't sure. But just as swiftly as he held me, he let me go. I felt a lump in my throat and cleared it before speaking.

"Will you excuse, please?"

I dashed out of there and into the bathroom in a matter of milliseconds. I locked the door behind me and sank down on a seat inside the little room.

I couldn't breath. I tried taking gulps of air in through my mouth clutching onto the fabric of my dress over my stomach. I couldn't tell whether the tears that started running down my face were due to the shock of seeing Finn or due to the pain I felt in my chest. It was a physical kind of pain as much as an emotional one. There was a tightness in my chest, but at the same time it felt like it'd burst with the overwhelming wave of different emotions hitting me all at once. I felt anger, guilt, longing, happiness, sadness, regret, surprise, nostalgia, but most of all I felt miserable.

I had convinced myself I'd never see him again, and now here he was. He was back. I'd seen him, heard his voice, he said my name, I looked into his eyes and saw I was nothing to him now. He clearly had no lost love for me. If anything I was sure now he still blamed me for the past.

My heart was drumming in my ears. I took deep breaths, counted to ten and moved to the sink. I splashed some cold water on my face and looked at my reflexion in the mirror.

"Get a grip, Hero." I demanded of myself.

I fixed my make-up and opened the door only to almost collide with Vanessa outside.

"Oh!" She jumped, startled. "I was coming to check on you. Are you feeling better, my dear?" There was so much worry in her eyes. Eyes that looked so much like his.

"Yes, thank you, I'm much better. I just shouldn't have skipped supper." I replied politely, feeling bad for wanting to get away from her attentions.

"Maybe you should eat something and rest. Finn's a doctor, he could examine you. Come, let me take you to the kitchen-"

"I think I'll just go home, but thank you so much for your attention, Vanessa." I interrupted her, feeling I was being blunt, but just wanting to desperately get away.

I took both her hands in mine and squeezed them, giving her a pleading, apologetical look, hoping she wouldn't think me too rude.

Home was the last place I wanted to go back to, tough. I didn't want to go there and be on my own sleeping on the bed I had shared with Lucian for eight fucking years. I'd have too much time to think about Finn, about Lucian, and about how a single decision I had made so long ago might have been the reason why things were going so wrong in my life now.

I remembered Mr. Mulinski made a point of having a garden, and since I wasn't much of a gardener, I had referred him to a good one I knew. But after the remodelling of the house had been finished I just hadn't had the time to see the final result. So I made my way to the back of the house, until I found the French doors that led to the garden. I opened it and stepped out into the garden and locked the doors from the outside just in case someone would get the same idea I did.

Suddenly aware of a pain on my feet I took my heels off. "Bloody torturing things." I muttered to myself and threw them in a dark corner.

The grass was wet and cold under my feet and I welcomed the refreshing feeling. I inhaled deeply the cool air of the night. It was very cold and I berated myself for not thinking of bringing my coat outside with me, but no way I'd go back for it for fear of meeting Mr. Mulinski or Vanessa or Finn. Specially Finn.