With final exams over, Roxanne felt part of the weight off her shoulders. She wasn't happy, even after and almost a week of radio silence, but she was happier knowing that there was one less thing for her to worry about. She was also in the middle of packing her room and leaving her apartment for good. With graduation only two days away, she couldn't wait to get away from her roommates from hell and possibly into a new place. She just wasn't sure where that place would be just yet.
The chill from the weather forced her to put on her coat before grabbing a box and taking it outside to her car. Its heaviness almost knocked her off her feet when the wind blew until someone caught her.
"Careful," Jarrett immediately said.
Roxanne was completely stunned; her heart almost dropped out of her ass at the sight of him. He came out of nowhere and caught her almost instantaneously. He took the box out of her hands.
"Thanks," she quickly said.
She couldn't think straight; she'd rehearsed several things in her mind and now that he was right in front of her, she was speechless.
Jarrett looked amazing. His handsome hair undercut and a five o'clock shadow accentuated his strong jawline. He slightly nodded at her remark, not fully acknowledging her. He was on his way to his apartment when he saw her struggling with her box. Instinctively, he wanted to help her and ran over, not thinking of the aftermath once they locked eyes on each other.
"I didn't think you'd still be here," he said.
"Just getting ready for Moving Day," she replied, "What are you still doing here?"
"I'm leased until January," he said.
Roxanne nodded. He walked the box to the trunk of her car without making small talk. Roxanne groped for something to say. Something to get his attention.
"You know, I didn't see you at the last meeting the other day. The office is throwing a party for the graduates," she informed.
"That's nice," he simply said.
"Are you coming? You're graduating too."
"No."
"Why not?"
Jarrett sharply exhaled. No answer.
"Well, see you around," he said, turning away from her. Roxanne threw her hands up and slapped them on her side.
"Jarrett, I'm really trying here. Throw me a bone," she pleaded.
"Why?" he said curtly, "Why should I make having a conversation easy for you?"
"It's not easy. I'm trying to apologize here. I know you're still mad," she blurted out, "I can't change the past but I want to talk about this. Please."
He turned to face her. Roxanne felt herself getting frustrated. Her hands shook as he approached her.
"There's nothing to talk about, Roxy. You made your choice. You want to move to Charleston. So, have a nice life," he said.
"I am so sorry. This is exactly what I didn't want to happen. We were good friends, then this arrangement happened and looked what happened."
"What did you expect? I told you, I can't go back to just being your friend."
"So, you just shut me out and cut me off completely? I'm not like you, Jarrett. I don't know how to compartmentalize and process my feelings. I don't know how to let people in. I've never had to do this before."
"And now you don't have to."
It wasn't the conversation she pictured in her mind. Roxanne didn't think that he would ever be so curt with her. She was amazed; she knew he was hurt but she didn't think she could hurt him this bad. She couldn't believe how cold he was toward her. Forget the chill in the air; his iciness was enough to make her tremble.
***********************************
Two weeks later. Graduation. A day that is supposed to bring cheer and optimism to every young adult's life but Roxanne did not feel any excitement. She stood in what of was left of her room in front of her mirror and stared at her reflection. Any young woman would be proud of herself for making such a transition from one state to another; graduating from college with honors and ready to take the next big step. But Roxanne didn't feel that way. She didn't know what she was feeling. Regardless of her lack of feelings, she pulled her gown over her blue chiffon, tassel dress.
At the ceremony, she looked around and saw her family in the balcony smiling at her and cheering her on. Roxanne tried to listen to the commencement speech; the wise words of some accomplished woman in her thirties. She reminded Roxanne of herself in more ways than one.
Roxanne smiled as she walked across the stage. She accepted her diploma and shook the hand of her dean and university president. After the ceremony, she met up with her family in the halls of the huge auditorium. Charlotte and their mom were really proud. They couldn't stop hugging and kissing the youngest member of the family.
"So, what's next Roxy?" Charlotte asked eagerly.
"Hell if I know," Roxanne said.
"Roxy, watch your mouth," Angela said, her mom hated when her girls cursed.
"Sorry," Roxy said.
"Come on, honey. We have reservations at six," their mom said.
"Let me get changed and I'll meet y'all there," Roxy said.
"Alright." Charlotte said, squeezing her tight.
Voices carried throughout the halls of the massive auditorium as Roxanne departed from her family and made her way through the crowd to the parking lot exit. In a moment's time, she saw him.
Her heart pounded so hard and fast it was likely to burst out of her chest at the sight of him. A rush of emotions came to her; confusion, happiness, fear. She didn't know what came over her. All at once, she felt a jolt in her stomach as Jarrett approached her. She felt weak in the knees. Why is he here and why did he have to look so drop-dead gorgeous?
"Congratulations, Roxanne. Your family must be proud."
She laughed a little. "You never call me Roxanne," she said, "What are you doing here?" she asked, almost in whisper.
He brushed away the strands of hair covering her face with the tips of his fingers. Nope. She wasn't dreaming. He was actually there. She felt her emotions trigger the sensors in her eyes and was ready to cry again. He wiped her tears before they could fall down her face.
"I'm still angry with you, O'Brien, but I couldn't miss your graduation."
"Please. Please don't be mad at me anymore, Jarrett," she begged, "I didn't take the job in Charleston," she said, "I couldn't choose the job over you."
It spilled out like word vomit and she couldn't stop telling him how she felt. She didn't want to run the risk of him interrupting her mid-sentence or shutting her down. She had to get it all out at once.
"And I wanted to tell you, but when I got back here, you weren't talking to me. I love you so much, Jarrett. And I'm so, so sorry."
Even Jarrett was surprised. He wanted to give her a piece of his mind but he wasn't going to do it at her graduation. He wanted to punish her a little. Roxanne didn't care. She seemed like she really missed him and she let it all out right now. She was unconventional that way; holding in her emotions was not her strong suit. It reminded him of the very first conversation they had in his office where she told him to go fuck himself and it made him smile.
"Please say something," she finally said.
"Come with me," he said as he took her hand. Roxanne was all too eager to follow.
