Eva sat curled up on her couch, the TV playing some cheesy rom com and a glass of wine in her hand, sighing as the loneliness she had been experiencing all day sat in. Since her husband had died 5 years ago, Valentine's Day had become a chore for her. Sure, every holiday was tough since Michael's death, but Valentine's was especially difficult. Seeing all the loving couples on Facebook or all the advertisements out in public left her in a constant state of longing. She missed having a man who looked at her with love and affection and who treated her like a queen. Michael had his faults of course, but he always made her feel warm and loved. Now she felt cold and empty.
She sighed as she finished her glass of wine and looked at the bottle. She considered pouring another one when there was a sudden knock at the door. Confused, Eva got off the couch, pulling her wool sweater tighter around her as she went to open the door. When she did, she was surprised to see it was her neighbor, Adam.
Adam was a kind young man who had lived across the hall from Eva for a couple of years now, ever since he'd graduated from college. Despite being quite tall at 6'2", his glasses and the awkward and shy way he often held himself made him look a lot less intimidating. Sure enough, Eva knew just how smart and sweet he was. She would often ask him to come over for a variety of reasons, whether to use his brain to help her with her daughter's homework, for his muscle if there was something heavy like her new couch, or just to come over for a cup of coffee and talk. As a young man in his 20's and living alone, Eva was sure he must've gotten lonely at times, and having found him easy to talk to, Eva would do her best to make sure he felt welcomed.
"Adam. This is a pleasant surprise," she said with a smile. "What can I..." she stopped herself when she noticed that one of his hands was behind his back and the other was holding a pink and red striped bag with some stuff in it.
"Well," Adam said while blushing slightly, "I know how tough Valentine's Day can be for you, especially with Kimmy off at school. So I thought I'd give you some stuff to try cheering you up." He pulled his hand from behind his back and revealed a bouquet of roses. He also held up the bag to her. "Happy Valentine's Day, Eva"
Eva stood there, unsure what to say or how to feel. She felt a strange concoction of emotions run through her. Joy, nervousness, guilt, love, and so many others that she didn't know how to process. In the end, she just smiled wide and took the stuff from Adam.
"Adam... this is so... I don't even... thank you," she finally settled on. She stepped aside. "Here, come in!"
Adam nodded and he stepped inside. Eva closed the door after him and walked to the living room. She returned to her spot on the couch and set the roses on the table and the bag on her lap. She opened in and her smile widened as she started taking some things out. Inside was a stuffed giraffe, her favorite animal, a box filled with Kit-Kats, her favorite candy, and a bottle of french vanilla lotion, her favorite scent. The final thing inside was a gift certificate for a free spa day to a brand new spa in town. She had spent weeks complaining to Adam about how she couldn't get a reservation there, so how we managed to swing this blew her mind.
The whole time, Adam just stood there awkwardly, watching her reactions as she looked at everything. When she was done, she sat there with her face in her hands, her shoulder shaking. Adam's eyes widened when he realized she was crying.
"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered. "I thought this would make you happy I... I can leave if you want..." Eva laughed a little as she got up and threw her arms around Adam. This took him by surprise but after recovering, he hugged her back, holding her tight.
"Adam, this was amazing. Thank you so much." She pulled back and placed a hand on Adam's cheek, admiring the contrast between her light skin and his dark skin as she stared into his brown eyes. Adam smiled as he stared back into her hazel eyes. Eva always suspected that Adam had a crush on her, and if she was honest part of the reason she liked him being around so much was the way he looked at her. At 43, Eva got quite a few looks from men of all ages with her 34E-28-36 body, especially when she wore dresses or leggings. But the way Adam looked at her was different. Not just sexually, but lovingly as well, as if she was the most beautiful creature in the world. That was how he was looking at her now, and it took all her willpower not to act on the sudden desire she had to kiss him.
After a few more moments of looking at each other, Eva finally broke the eye contact and picked up the roses.
"Well," she said, almost out of breath for some reason she couldn't explain, "I'm gonna go put these in some water. Feel free to have a seat or pour yourself a glass of wine." She picked up the bouquet of roses and walked to the kitchen. She was aware of his staring, and decided to tease him a little by swaying her hips. When she got into the kitchen, she suddenly became aware of what she was doing and shook her head.
'What are you doing?' she thought to yourself. 'He's young enough to be your son.' Although she was very aware of his age, at the same time there was a part of her that didn't see his age. All she knew was that he was a handsome, kind young man who went out of his way to make her feel better on Valentine's Day. He didn't have to do any of this, he wanted to. For the first time in a long time, Eva felt happy.
However, there was still Michael. Eva still loved her husband of 17 years even now after his passing. She hadn't been with any man since his death. The problem wasn't that she didn't get any offers. The problem was that she just wasn't ready. She felt like she was betraying Michael and Kimmy, like she was a horrible person for wanting to be with someone else. And that's exactly how she felt now. Guilty that she let someone else make her swoon the way Michael did, guilty that she actually had feelings for him. Guilty that she was happy.
She stood at the kitchen counter, the battle between her happiness and her guilt putting her on the verge of tears, when suddenly she felt a hand on her arm. She turned around and standing there was Adam, who looked concerned. Without even thinking, Eva through herself at him, hugging him while sobbing into his chest. Adam just held her, rubbing her back gently in an attempt to calm her down.
After a few minutes of the two just hugging, Eva calmed down and pulled back, wiping at her face with her sleeve.
"Sorry I just... this was all so nice. This is the first Valentine's Day in a long time where I don't feel like shit and it feels good but it also feels wrong." Eva looked up at Adam, who just stood there listening to her. The way he looked at her made her turn away from him.
"You didn't have to do this. You could've just gone out to some bar and hooked up with a girl who's way hotter and way younger and saved yourself all that time and money. A cute guy like you probably has half a dozen girls you could've called instead of spending your night with some old, crying hag. I just... I'm sorry I must look like a fool. Maybe... maybe you should just..."
Eva was cut off by a sound coming from Adam. She turned back to him and saw that he was smiling and trying to hold back a laugh.
"You uh... you think I'm cute?" Eva's eyes widened when she realized that's what he was laughing at and she immediately started to blush.
