The Trip

That day, Brian took Kim on a tour of San Francisco and visited the beautiful Palace of Fine arts. They took quick stints through both Chinatown and the Japanese Tea Gardens. Kim was genuinely impressed with the great Northern California sights. Brian, on the other hand, was simply happy just to be in her company.

That afternoon, they decided to take a stroll down to Fisherman's Wharf and have lunch at Bubba Gump's on the bay. After lunch, they went for a walk down the boardwalk, glancing at the various shops as they went along.

"How are you liking San Francisco so far?" Brian said, licking his ice cream cone. "Have I convinced you it's better than LA, yet?"

"Is

that

what your intention was?" She said with a dry laugh. She took another sip of her soda as the cool air blew through her khaki shorts and the feeling of goose bumps covered her legs.

"It's certainly much cooler up here than it is back home, that's for sure."

Brian handed Kim his cone, removed his jacket and placed it over her shoulders. Kim smiled.

"Thank you," she said licking the melting ice cream from her hand. She stopped and looked at the cone adoringly for a moment, then back up at Brian's face.

"Mmm! This isn't bad!" She said handing him her soda cup in return. "Here, I think I'll trade with you." A sly smile wiggled its way across her face.

Brian rolled his eyes and grabbed the cup. "Thanks."

They stopped at a bench to sit and people watch. Kim was enamored with the sights and smells of Northern California. To her, it seemed like an entirely new world. On the boardwalk, she watched the small kids and their parents play on the large merri-go-round in the center of the dock. In the distance, she could hear the calls of the sea lions they had stopped to admire earlier. She could smell the fresh fish off the dock of Pier 39 and thought about how nice fresh shrimp for dinner sounded.

Brian missed all of this. His eyes were locked on Kim and his -- her ice cream cone. He was enthralled as the cool air did little to keep the sun from melting it down her wrist. Every time her tongue swept across the base in a long sensuous stroke, his breathing stopped. She was oblivious to the desire she was generating within his loins, his entire body, even. Trying to keep the tower she'd built with her tongue from toppling over, she would occasionally open her mouth and let her thick lips envelope the crown of the cream and slowly lick the white film from her lips.

"Fuck ME!" Brian thought. That had to be about the most erotic thing he'd ever witnessed. His balls tightened. He could feel the rush of blood tightening his cock. He shook his head and blinked hard. Little flashes of light danced his eyelids as he did.

Kim finally took her eyes off the view of Alcatraz just past the Golden Gate Bridge in the distance and noticed Brian's uneasiness.

"What?" Kim asked with wide eyes.

"Nothing," he said trying not to look at her beautiful ice cream covered lips. If she had any idea what he was thinking, she'd surely smack him off his ass.

"What!?" She insisted. "You've been acting so funny today."

"Am I?" Brian thought. Sure, watching her stroll around in her thigh-high shorts and gloriously unforgiving white tank top probably made him seem "funny" to her, but to him, he was acting exactly how any other red-blooded man would. The squawk of sea gulls overhead brought his attention back to the moment.

"I was just sitting here wishing I was that ice cream cone right now."

He couldn't believe the words had fallen from his mouth. But, now that they had, he wasn't sorry. It was the truth after all.

Kim licked her lips then wiped them with the napkin that had been cradling the cone. She looked down at it, then back up at him. Brian stared at it with his hand covering his mouth. Did he just take another three steps back?

Kim smiled.

"You like watching me eat my ice cream, huh?"

Brian opened his mouth and slowly nodded. For some reason, the words wouldn't release from his mouth. He tried again, and they came out in a hoarse whisper.

"Oh, yes."

Kim turned to him and smiled again. She held the cone up to her lips and slowly wiped her tongue across the entire base. Brian's eyes blinked hard again. His breathing was getting more and more labored. He bit at the inside of his lip and tried to look away, but his eyes had no intention. Kim took a large bite out of the top of the cone and as slowly as she could, licked ever creamy inch of her lips until they were moist with only the wetness of her tongue. Brian moaned as his foot tapped uncontrollably on the ground. Kim was just about to take another go at the base of the cone when she felt a hand grab her wrist and stop her.

"You're evil," was all Brian said as he grabbed the cone from her hand.

She reluctantly let it go and laughed as he almost crushed it from the pure strength of his desire.

A small drop fell into the crack between his thumb and index finger. Kim saw it and seductively licked it up before it dripped to the ground. The cool silky feel of her tongue on his body sent pulses of adrenaline through his veins. The cone finally crushed in Brian's hand and it fell with a flat plopping noise to the ground next to his cup of soda. Brian looked at it and shook his head as Kim stood up and patted him on the back.

"All right lover boy," She laughed. "Fun's over. Let's go over to the aquarium like you promised."

"No." Brian said, grabbing her arm and gently pulling her back down to the bench beside him. He thought about the noticeable protrusion between his thighs and how awkward it would be trying to hide it from her and the rest of the world as they sauntered along the boardwalk.

"Let's just sit here for a while."

****

That night Brian had invited Kim to his place to watch an old James Bond movie. Kim wasn't particularly interested in the show as much as the company, so she accepted the invitation with a mild indifference.

Brian had ordered pizza and thought a nice cabernet would go well with the greasy pie.

Kim arrived dressed in a black pant suit and white silk blouse with a black chiffon scarf tied around her neck. Her long, curly hair was pulled up in a loose ponytail with soft tendrils coming down to her cheeks. She looked absolutely angelic, Brian thought. She was holding a store-bought cherry pie in her hands.

She extended the pie to Brian from the hallway and he grabbed it in one hand and her arm in the other pulling them both inside with an almost equal desire. Brian had told Kim of his love of cherry pie at lunch that day, but he certainly didn't think she would remember, let alone bring him one. He looked down at the plastic covered container in his hands as Kim strode past him toward the dining room.

"Mmm, I see you ordered pizza," Kim said hungrily eyeing the grease stained box sitting on the table.

"Yeah, help yourself. Plates are in the...," he paused. "you know where they are." He motioned his hand toward the upper right kitchen cabinets.

Kim nodded. "Indeed, I do!" She said slinking into the kitchen and re-emerging with two plates and a pair of wine glasses.

Brian brought the cherry pie into the kitchen and searched the utensil drawer for a pastry knife. He grabbed two small plates and cut out a slice for Kim and himself.

He walked into the dining room and sat the dessert plates to the side as he grabbed two large slices of pizza at once and sat them on his plate. Kim already had his wine glass filled before he sat down.

"Hey, I've been thinking," Brian said placing his cloth napkin in his lap. "You said yesterday that you wanted to find 'your wings' I think was the phrase you used -- but you didn't elaborate.

Kim looked up at him with a mouthful of pizza.

"Where would you like to go?"

"The truth?" She said trying to swallow her food. "I've always wanted to visit Paris. It's seems so cheesily romantic."

She chuckled to herself and thought about if 'cheesily' was an actual word, then decided it didn't matter. It fit in the context of what she wanted to say and no other word came immediately to mind.

"Paris is overrated," Brian began. "I was there several years ago, before 9/11, when we were still on "speaking" terms with each other. Even then, the people there were rude and snotty. I can't even imagine what it must be like now."

"One fail swoop." Kim whispered shaking her head. She had heard Ellis's voice in Brian's just now and a whole flood of emotion she had been trying to suppress came rushing back to the surface.

Ellis had become adept at making her feel like a fool and belittling her desires like she was a child and, by the end, he not only laughed at her dreams of visiting France (and pretty much anything else she hoped for), but he had pretty much resigned her to the confines of the house as well. This, she thought, was one of the reasons she was here now in San Francisco. As soon as she was free of Ellis's hold, she suddenly wanted to see the world.

And here was Brian starting off the same way, in the same condescending manner Ellis had started. It was the beginning of her four year long nightmare all over again.

"Huh?" Brian said lifting a folded up pizza to his mouth.

"Didn't take you long to dash my hopes and dreams with that sharp tongue of yours, did it?"

Brian looked at her, then down at his plate. He felt like a huge rock had just tumbled its way down his stomach and landed there with a thud. The deep sinking feeling that had found its way inside him seemed to make his mouth dry. He grabbed his wine glass, took a large swallow and sat it back down on the table with a clink.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to criticize your goals. I was just --" Brian thought quickly, trying to change the subject somewhat. "Chantilly is nice," he said with a uneasy smile.

"I've always liked it there. It has the Conde' museum which has incredible historical paintings of the country, second only to the Louvre in size." Suddenly Brian felt like a French travel guide brochure.

Kim smiled. Brian smiled back. That heavy rock inside his belly disappeared and he'd all but forgotten about it.

"If you could be doing anything right now -- anything in the world that you wanted to do, what would it be?" Brian asked.

"You're all about the broad questions tonight, aren't you?"

"Just answer the question." Brian said smirking.

"The truth?"

"Of Course!" Brian chuckled.

"I'd be laying out on the beach of Marina Del Ray watching the sun set and digging my feet into the sand making little cubby holes." She chuckled at the words that just spilled from her mouth. "God, that sounds corny."

"Not at all," his eyes peering into hers. "San Francisco has some nice beaches, but I'm afraid you'd freeze your little toes off this time of night before you even made it to shore." He grabbed his wine glass and sat back in his chair. "But we can do that tomorrow afternoon if you'd like."

Kim gave a pained expression and played with the olives on her pizza.

"I feel like I'm taking over your life, Brian. We've barely been apart since I got here." She looked down at the napkin in her lap and unconsciously rearranged it.

"That's only because I want it that way," he said trying to catch her eyes with his own. "You certainly don't think this has all been just a coincidence, do you? Because it hasn't. Not by a long shot."

They both sat quietly staring at each other from across the table. Kim shook her head and looked down at the napkin in her lap again.

"What's wrong?" Brian asked setting his wine glass down in front of him. Kim opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again. Brian felt her reluctance and thought he should leave the topic alone for now.

"Can I ask you a question?" He asked not waiting for an answer. "What was the deal with you and that fucking ice cream cone this afternoon?"

The two started to chuckle until Kim bent her head down on the table and released a loud mixture of both a laugh and a sigh. She covered her face with her hands and tried to compose herself.

"I have no idea. I really don't. I suppose I was just playing with you. You have to believe me when I say I've never done anything like that before in my life. EVER."

Brian smiled at her over the faux flower arrangement in the center of the small dining room table.

"Can I tell you something?" He asked barely above a whisper as he teased the rim of his wineglass.

"What?"

Brian's eyes looked up at hers while his fingers continued their dance on his half empty glass.

"I've never wanted someone as much as I want you."

"Bri—,"

"You have no fucking idea." He whispered, cutting her off. His cock was now rock hard again with the thought of that afternoon and with the look of her now, sitting across from him. He thought about the feel of her legs wrapped around his waist pushing him as far into her depths as he could go. He shuddered. He was doing that a lot lately, he thought.

"Tell me why it is you keep pushing me away." His hand reached across the table to hers and she quickly withdrew it to her lap. He momentarily stared at the spot where it had been and sighed.

"What are you afraid of?"

The images suddenly flooded over Kim like a hurricane. Ellis. Ellis Richards. That's what she was afraid of.

His face flashed into her mind and her eyes began to pool with tears. She thought back to the many emergency room visits he gave her. A broken arm here, a bruised rib there. Even a mild concussion once. Her body bore the numerous scars he inflicted. But that wasn't the worst of it. Not even the terrible things he would do to her in the bedroom. The physical scars would heal, but she was positive she'd be wearing the emotional scars of that man for the rest of her life.

She tried to convince herself that he wasn't that bad. Not in retrospect. Everything always seemed better in retrospect. "He was only at his worst when he had been drinking," she would say to herself. Which was more and more frequently near the end. When he would come home drunk from the bar and decided he wanted to fool around was when it was really bad.

She kept telling herself it wasn't rape because they were lovers. You can't really rape someone you fuck on a regular basis, can you? She didn't know what to call it, but all she knew was Friday and Saturday nights terrified her more than anything else in the world. That's when Ellis would get his paycheck and spend the weekends at the bar. When he wasn't getting loaded at Buddy's bar and beating some shit head to a pulp, he was at home ripping her clothes off and beating HER to a pulp. She remembered that last night. The last time she let him put his filthy hands on her body. The night she put HIS sorry ass in the hospital instead of the other way around.

Ellis had come home that Saturday night, drunk off his ass as usual. Kim was sitting in the bathroom on the edge of the tub with the door locked. She was holding herself in her arms and rocking. She knew what kind of night it was going to be.

"Kim! Kimberly Alessis Brown!" He said slurring her middle name as he tried to gain control of his words.

"Git your ass out here, bitch!" She heard a bottle shatter against the living room wall. "Where are you? I'm gonna fuck your brains out tonight, girly." His accompanying laughter scared her even more.

He walked over to the closed bathroom door and tried the doorknob. It was locked.

"You in there, bitch?"

The twist of the doorknob made Kim shift on the tub causing her body wash bottle to tumble inside with a thud. Kim gasped.

"Unlock thish goddamn door!" Ellis then pounded on the broad side of it with his whole body. The door shook in the frame and Kim slowly inched to the corner of the tub.

After a few more body slams into the door, the frame finally gave way and Ellis charged in stumbling to the ground in the process. Kim screamed and tried to run past him through the door.

He caught her at the ankle and she fell face first on the porcelain floor.

He crawled his body on top of hers, flipped her over and smacked her already bloody face. Kim screamed and Ellis hit her again. This time she lay there quietly crying. Her salty tears stinging the fresh cut near her eye.

"Stupid bitch! You tryin to run from me, uh? Well, I'll show you what hap'ensh to the dumb whore who tries to run from Ellis Richardsh." His s's still slurring randomly.

He quickly ripped off her blouse and tore her bra from her shoulders. He bit so hard into her nipple, he drew blood. Kim screamed again but, this time Ellis didn't care. He kept biting through her cries.

He hiked up her skirt and pulled her panties roughly down her legs, ripping them on the way down. She felt him lift the lower half of his body up just long enough unfasten his pants and let himself fall roughly back onto her body. She let out a huge rush of air as he did.

He smiled that evil smile. Kim knew what was going to happen next. With a euphoric grunt, he pushed his huge cock so far and brutally inside her she could swear she felt something tear. Her legs were splayed beneath him as his hips rose and fell between her thighs. He grabbed her neck with both hands and viciously slapped his groin into hers. She tried to cry with every thrust, but all that came out were hoarse grunts. Ellis stuck out his tongue and licked her lips with the fervor of a madman. Kim's nails tried to dig into his back, but the effort was strained with what little air his chokehold was allowing her and the thick leather jacket he was still wearing.

Ellis's thrusts came more quickly and more severe. He watched with sick pleasure as each time his pelvis met hers, her breasts jiggled from the impact and she let loose a muffled grunt of pain. The assault seemed to go on forever until Ellis finally closed his eyes, like he always did before he was about to cum, and convulsed with his open mouth drooling. Kim, on the other hand, lay there feeling her soul fly away and on the cusp of passing out.

As soon as he came, he released his hold on her neck and went limp on top of her. Kim gasped for the sweet air he had cut off. The color began to come back to her face and she coughed violently. It felt as though her throat were on fire. He then quickly rolled off her and left her there on the bathroom floor as he pulled up his pants and headed off to the kitchen.

It felt like a hot poker had been thrust between Kim's legs. When she tried to sit up, she immediately fell over and threw up from the intense pain.

Ellis had found a bottle of beer on the bottom shelf of the refrigerator and sat himself at the kitchen table to finish it off.

Kim, finally able to gather herself up enough to stand, watched him from the shadows of the splintered bathroom door. His back was toward her, oblivious to her movements. She had taken a little more than four years of his abuse, and although it sounded fucked up to her, she had told herself many times that she was used to it. But this time...

This time he'd gone too far.

He was always rough with her in bed when he had been drinking. (Not that he was prince charming even when he was sober.) She convinced herself that she was used to that, too, but this was something different entirely. He had NEVER brutalized her the way he did just now. He was getting worse. She thought if things had just stayed the same, she could put up with it. It was never so bad she couldn't handle it. But things didn't stay the same. Her trips to the hospital were becoming more and more frequent and his days of sobriety became more and more scarce.

This was the end. This was the absolute last Kim could take of Ellis Richards and he would have known it if he'd seen the fire burning deep within her eyes right now. Something inside Kim snapped and she had made up her mind that this time was the last time, the absolute last time she would passively suffer at his hands again.