My mind was racing as I hurriedly made the trek to Cullen to collect my notes and books that I needed to finish my paper. I would call Mom and Dad from Lissia's place. I sprinted up the five flights of stairs to the stacks and got to the carrel like my hair was on fire. I stopped at the door and caught my breath, 'God what has just happened?' I unlocked the carrel and gathered my papers, notes and books that I needed. Locking the door I began to worry that anyone who was in that committee meeting today might have the same sense that Dr. Hunter did that there is something between Lissia and me. I started creating monsters worrying about the consequences for both of us. I could always go into the Army but Lissia's entire professional reputation was on the line for me and now even Evie who championed me even though she prompted me to answer easy questions on issues of race. I needed desperately to get control of what was happening. Maybe my cognitive abilities were being flexed and exercised to the maximum to grow stronger relational cognition. I was reaching and borrowing trouble...I didn't know what to think -- I knew what I felt. I love Lissia.
The drive to Lissia's went quickly. She was sitting on the porch swing wearing a beautiful purple sundress, barefoot and smiling. She was gorgeous but I am very biased. It is said that beauty is in the eye of the beholder -- that's me the beholder of great beauty. Lissia's was hidden behind that terrible darkness of her teen years. The barbed wire and parapets of her making keeping those away who would hurt her further were breaking down and unraveling. She came off the porch as I got out of the car, holding her arms open to me, "My baby, my brilliant and accomplished baby." We hugged so tightly we just couldn't turn loose. We took each others' hand and walked up the steps into the house, "Where are your books?"
"I'll go out to the car and get them in a minute -- I have been racing like crazy to get here Lissia. My heart is pounding like a jack hammer -- feel this," I put her hand on my chest.
"Oh my Steven, sweet baby let's sit for a minute," as we did I took her into my lap and she wrapped her arms around me and kissed me so slowly. It seemed that we kissed and 'made out' for the better part of an hour. We were 'hungry' for our nearness and physical comfort just in holding one another -- it is the most calming sensation in the world for the love of your life to wrap her arms around you and profess her love -- requited love.
"Lissia?"
"Yes sweet man?"
"I'm worried about something and I need you to walk through it with me," I needed to open this discussion quickly so we'd be prepared.
She stroked my hair and rearranged it with her forefinger as she watched me very carefully -- now she was hovering. I liked it actually. Anyway I let it out, "Dr. Hunter thinks that you and I are seeing each other because his daughter Sandra ate at Pino's Sunday night and he told her about us."
Her face grew wan, "No he didn't."
I nodded, "He did. The saving grace in this is that Dr. Hunter is a dear friend of mine who loves us both. He said that we were sharing 'lovers' looks during the meeting. So I wonder who else might think that. I mean, Evie tossed me two softball questions and her loquacity yields way too much information -- unintentionally that's just Dr. Marshal I think. But my worry is deeper than Dr. Marshal I'm scared for what might happen to you -- I can always go into the Army and resurface in college after the Army but your career could hang in the balance baby and I couldn't have that."
She kissed me, "Steven, I need you to relax, your jousting at windmills like the Man from La Mancha. What you did today blew everyone away. Dr. Hunter and Dr. Martin who've been so important to your history education were astonished at your polish and absolute command of history and when you quoted John Stuart Mill in front of some very Mill-loving professors you accomplished a fait accompli. It was over. If we had been alone at that moment I would have made love to you right then and there. Baby I told you that I didn't care who knows about us because you professed your love for me," she whispered, "I don't think that's changed for us has it?'
I shook my head, "Not for me. If I knew where we could go tonight to get married I would steal you away."
Her smile was crumpling and her eyes softening as she carefully studied my face, "I feel like I'm in a romantic movie. We been swept away in a rather dramatic fashion unbeknownst to either of us haven't we?"
"We have Lissia, I love the 'we' of us. I never had this before now..."
We sat for a while until I realized the time, "Lissia may I use your telephone to call Mom and Dad?"
"Sure baby," she smiled, "I'll leave you alone."
"No, no I want you next to me," I told her quickly.
She hugged my neck, "Steven are you sure?'
I nodded, "No secrets. This is us, the 'we'."
She sat on the arm of the club chair as I dialed home, "Hi Mom. How's Dad? Did he take his 3 o'clock medications? How's his breathing? Sure Mom I wanted to tell you both some good news if you can get on the extension. Uh huh, yes ma'am. Hi Dad, how're you feeling? Good. I guess he's still angry with me -- really? That's an improvement. Well a kick to the balls has a way of getting to the point. You gonna let him stay. Sure but Dad if I find out that he's broken that trust -- he's mine. Your voice is fading so let me talk for a while. The Academic committee for undergrad and grad schools have approved my application for a dual BS-MS degree so I can take advantage of the ROTC scholarship. I know Dad I can hardly believe how lucky I am. Well it is a blessing. Yes sir. Actually Phylissia was on the committee. I know I was shocked. She's right here Mom I'm at her home I'm going to finish my paper this afternoon over here where it's quiet and a little closer to school if I need any more information. Do you want to talk with her? Sure, hold one," I held my hand over the receiver, "Mom and Dad want to say hello.