I was nineteen when I recruited my first white bitch. It was about half past four, hot as hell, I’m kicking back outside my condo in South Central when I see this convertible crawling down the street towards me. It stops and this white dude, skinny, with gelled blonde hair and these super-dark shades leans out and gives me a shit-eating grin. “My man!” he yells. “You know where we can get us some blow?”
Fucking asshole. He sees some black dude hanging out on the street and he automatically thinks: drug dealer. I may be a pimp but I don’t do none of that shit. I’m gonna fucking pull him out of the car and pop a cap in his ass when I see this chick sitting next to him. Fucking hot. I lean over the window and get a good look at her: a couple of years older than me, short pink skirt, long tanned legs, tight white top, big tits, blonde hair, beauty queen complexion, and this cocky little smile, with dimples and shit, like she knows she’s the fuck of the year. She sees me looking at her but she don’t give a fuck, she just giggles. I can tell they’re both already high otherwise they wouldn’t even be in this hood.
“Sure, my man.” I say but he don’t even get the sarcasm, he’s so into impressing his bitch with how cool he is in talking to the big black guy. “Come back in an hour.”
“An hour?” pouts the girl with this cute, dumb, valley girl voice. “I can’t wait that long.” I look at her. She’s got these pink, rosebud lips and big blue eyes with long lashes.
“Alright.” I say. “Wait there.”
My man Jefferson deals. I’m straight round to his apartment to pick up a couple a ounces and a pipe.
When I get back they’re still waiting. The girl’s sitting on the hood of the car. Legs crossed at the ankle, one high heel dangling off her pretty little feet. The guy’s pacing up and down. He’s starting to get worried but he can’t back down now.
“You wanna try before you buy?” I say. The guy almost snatches the pipe out of my hand and the girl slides off the hood, real slow and rolls towards us on her heels with her tight little ass swaying, this sexy smile on her face. She fucking wants it, man. Boyfriend’s looking at her like: fucking dumb bitch, you wanna get raped by the nigger? But they both take a big draw on the pipe. The girl’s tits expand as she breathes in and I can literally see her nipples get erect like the shit’s got a hotline to her little pink cunt.
“Man, that’s good.” The guy squeaks.
“A hundred dollars,” I say.
“How fucking much?” Fucking lame-ass got his balls back now.
“Maybe in future you should ask the price first.”
The chick giggles. “He’s got a point, Guy. Give him the fucking money.”
He don’t look happy but he takes this super expensive leather wallet out of his pocket and flips two fifties at me from this big roll of notes. Fucking dumbfuck. I could’ve rolled him there and then but I don’t. I’m not into that shit either.
“Next time you come back maybe I’ll give you a better deal.”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” he mutters. Gets back in his car and as he’s driving away he shouts, “fuck you, nigger!” and laughs his fucking head off like he’s just made the greatest joke of the century.
Obviously I wish I’d shot him dead straight out but the next day I’m sitting there when I see the convertible coming down the street again. This time, though, the chick’s behind the wheel and her boyfriend’s nowhere to be seen. She’s got her hair down, flipping all round her pretty face, and when she gets out of the car I can see she’s wearing these little pink shorts and another white top, cropped just above her pierced navel. “Hi, listen,” she says in this big rush before I can say anything, “I’m, like, so, so sorry about yesterday. My boyfriend is such a prick.”
