Kysandra was worried. Dennis had said he was going to leave her. Kysandra could not take another break-up. In the 15 years since her divorce, she had tried building relationships with nine different men. None felt at ease with a woman who had a PhD. Each try had ended in failure. Her ego was on the floor.
But then she met Dennis. At first, it had been just a lark. But things turned serious. After three wonderful years, her self-esteem was restored. But now he wanted to end it all.
As calmly as she could, Kysandra asked, "Why?" Dennis responded, "Because I'm 42 and want to settle down, get married, have kids. You've turned me down each time I've asked. OK, I've had enough. Its time for me to find someone who shares my goals."
So there it was again - the marriage thing. Kysandra thought she had handled the subject each time it came up - but obviously, she'd been wrong.
Marriage to Dennis carried two basic problems for Kysandra: (1) Her first marriage had been a disaster, followed by a series of disasters in her dating life; (2) With a such a bad track record, if she said "yes" to Dennis she'd be attempting the most difficult of all marriages - an interracial one. Kysandra was black - Dennis was white. Blacks and whites both would give them grief. Dennis had no idea what he'd be getting himself into. No, marriage was a bad idea.
But she couldn't bear to lose him. The relationship was good - living together had made it the best ever. What to do? Suddenly, an idea hit her. "Dennis, I have a proposal," Kysandra announced. "Frankly, I'm frightened of marriage. But I love you - and I know you love me. I think you'd have a pretty hard time without me." Responding to her openness and honesty, Dennis shook his head "yes."
"Well, I want to do whatever I can to save this relationship," Kysandra continued. "You have an image in your head about marriage - the doating wife who greets you at the door with your slippers."
As Dennis started to object, Kysandra held up her hand, motioning for him to stop. "I know the protest you are going to make, Dennis. I've heard it before. But I'm almost finished. So let me share my proposal - and then you can talk." He reluctantly nodded in agreement.
"What if you got a woman who fit that 'doating' image?" Kysandra asked. "In fact, what if you got more than that? What if you got a woman who thought about nothing but you - who tried to cater to your every whim and desire? Would you be interested in having such a woman?" Kysandra watched Dennis lean forward, obviously interested.
"Well, I've got a three month vacation," Kysandra continued. "I don't have to start teaching again at the university until September 9. What if I devoted my summer just to you? I'd plan the whole thing. Then, at the end of the summer, just before I returned to work, we could talk again. But give me three months - no, give US three months - to explore something new and different. Who knows - you may find you like it. What do you say?"