Kysandra was worried. Dennis had said he was going to leave her. Kysandra could not take another break-up. In the 15 years since her divorce, she had tried building relationships with nine different men. None felt at ease with a woman who had a PhD. Each try had ended in failure. Her ego was on the floor.
But then she met Dennis. At first, it had been just a lark. But things turned serious. After three wonderful years, her self-esteem was restored. But now he wanted to end it all.
As calmly as she could, Kysandra asked, "Why?" Dennis responded, "Because I'm 42 and want to settle down, get married, have kids. You've turned me down each time I've asked. OK, I've had enough. Its time for me to find someone who shares my goals."
So there it was again - the marriage thing. Kysandra thought she had handled the subject each time it came up - but obviously, she'd been wrong.
Marriage to Dennis carried two basic problems for Kysandra: (1) Her first marriage had been a disaster, followed by a series of disasters in her dating life; (2) With a such a bad track record, if she said "yes" to Dennis she'd be attempting the most difficult of all marriages - an interracial one. Kysandra was black - Dennis was white. Blacks and whites both would give them grief. Dennis had no idea what he'd be getting himself into. No, marriage was a bad idea.
But she couldn't bear to lose him. The relationship was good - living together had made it the best ever. What to do? Suddenly, an idea hit her. "Dennis, I have a proposal," Kysandra announced. "Frankly, I'm frightened of marriage. But I love you - and I know you love me. I think you'd have a pretty hard time without me." Responding to her openness and honesty, Dennis shook his head "yes."