I turned the key and switched off the engine. The engine ticked as it cooled in the unforgiving winter air and we both stared nervously at the squat, unappealing building in front of us. My heart thumped in my chest as I turned around to look at Sarah, the seedy neon lights from the building reflected in her eyes. I could see the same nervous energy in them which was pumping through me.
"Are you sure you want to do this?" She asked quietly.
I tried to gauge her reactions, suddenly afraid she was having second doubts. If she said she didn't want to do it, I wasn't going to force her. I would start the car and drive us back to our quiet, decent suburban life, resigned to watching our sex life dwindle further.
That winter was our eleventh year as a couple. For over a decade we had spent almost every day together, growing up from shy 15-year olds and sharing every experience. Our sexual explorations had been fumbling and uncertain, nervous fingers and shaky breaths until we grew comfortable together. We'd experimented with positions and even a few toys but over time we had regressed into an almost military drill, not lacking passion but uncomfortably familiar.
I waited a few seconds to give the impression I was thinking it over. "Yeah, what about you?"
To my surprise, Sarah nodded without hesitation and I felt my heart surge.
"Let's go then."
The cold rushed to clutch at me as soon as the door opened. It had pushed to double figure below freezing, more brutal than any English winter I could remember. Sarah gave a quiet mock-scream as she got out, rushing around the side of the car to wrap her arm around mine, stuffing her hands deep inside her pockets.
The road was cracked and neglected, my feet struggling to find balance over the icy and uneven surface. Despite already being desperate for the warm interior, we walked slowly, taking in the unpleasant building apprehensively. The green neon lights burned against the dark, overcast sky. I could hear the rumbling of cars hurtling down the bypass just beyond the thicket of bald trees.
We'd planned to get to the store at 22:20, ten minutes before closing time. Although we were happy to do it together, to make it part of our experience, I definitely preferred not to be seen by anyone. Horror at the idea of meeting someone I knew in there tugged at me again but, as Sarah had said, they would be there for exactly the same reason we were.
There was a rush of relief as I pushed open the door and the warm air of the store welcomed us. It was completely empty, not counting the sound of rummaging coming from the doorway behind the counter. The entire store seemed to be ours for the taking.
I looked around at Sarah, seeing her face flushed from a combination of the cold air and the endless variety of sex toys, magazines and DVD cases lining every inch of the walls. Every shelf and stand seemed to be crammed with every imaginable device, some of which obviously built for pleasure and others which looked nothing less than torturous.
Our sex life had never felt so vanilla than that moment as my eyes flicked over impossibly proportioned dildos hanging from hooks, chains and clamps. I wondered briefly how many couples were being supplied from this shop to warrant so much stock.
I'd only noticed the store a few days ago. Stuck in traffic on the bypass and daydreaming about a few days off just a few weeks away, I caught a glimpse of the green light through the thick branches of trees lining the road. The idea of suggesting that me and Sarah might watch porn together came striding into my head, fully formed and it proved impossible to resist. I was surprised by the relatively small amount of persuasion it took to bring Sarah around to the idea. Although we were fairly vanilla, when I think back now, she was definitely the more open-minded of the two of us.
We shuffled awkwardly down one of the narrow aisles occasionally stifling laughs as we pointed at some of the more bizarre looking wares. I picked up a long chain, spinning it around my hand and looking Sarah up and down with an evil grin. We'd planned to get in and out as quickly as possible but once we were in, everything seemed incredibly funny.
She laughed out and pulled me towards the back corner, where there were ceiling high shelves filled with DVDs. Waist high baskets were filled to the brim of DVDs thrown in haphazardly and handmade signs proclaiming "Sale! Sale! Sale!".
There seemed to be no order to the films. My eyes drifted along the covers, lingering for a long moment on one with a redheaded woman on the cover. A muscular torso stood behind her with his dark arm wrapped around her waist. I'd always had a thing for redheads and always casually talked Sarah out of it when she considered dyeing her hair a different colour. I gestured further down the aisle, away from the cover. I knew about the rumours surrounding black guys and their packages. I didn't feel quite ready for Sarah to see it in action in widescreen.
The colours and variety of models suddenly had my mouth dry. I looked around at Sarah and saw she looked just as lost as I did. We had agreed on the type of film we wanted to try it with: a gentle couple going all the way from foreplay to sex. Passionate, but not seedy.
Sarah reached out, pulling a case with a beautiful couple on the front. His strong abs and her slender frame looked perfect and before I could do more than nod agreement, Sarah was pushing me towards the counter. She hid behind one of the shelves and I could hear a very quiet but definite snort of laughter.
Feeling my face burn I walked up to the counter and put the case down. I felt fidgety and nervous as I waited for the shopkeeper to come out of the store room and notice me. I imagined a little bald man, pallid and weedy looking to suit the seedy exterior of the building.
I cleared my throat loudly, ignoring Sarah's gasp of a laugh from somewhere behind me. The noise stopped and the shopkeeper came through the doorway.
"Ahh, didn't hear you come in." He boomed.
He was gigantic, well over six and a half feet. His muscles stretched against a tight tank top, his ebony skin glittered with a thin layer of sweat. He smiled down at me, bright white teeth against his dark skin and for a moment I couldn't think of anything to say.
The shopkeeper raised his eyebrows. "Silent type huh?" He grinned again, swiping up the DVD case and scanning it quickly.
I recovered myself. "Yeah, sorry. My throat caught on me there."
"No problem." His voice was deep and seemed to reverberate through the air. "£11.99."
He took the note from my outstretched hand and froze suddenly as he went to open the till.
"Have I seen you before?" He asked me. I could see a small silver name tag on his massive chest which told me his name was David.
"No, I've never been here before." I muttered, wishing he would just give me my change so I could run from the store.
"You sure?" David's eyebrows furrowed further and I shook my head.
His dark eyes shot up as another stifled laugh came from behind the bookshelf. "Do you need help with something?" He said loudly.
There was a quiet moment and I heard Sarah come out from behind the shelves. There was no mistaking the way his eyes narrowed and swept up the length of her. Her gorgeously slim frame was hard to miss, even with the bulky winter coat. Her deep blue eyes met his for a moment before casting downwards, her cheeks flushing as red as I imagined mine were. I was well aware of the attention she got from other men but I always tried to ignore it, rather than driving myself mad with jealousy.
David seemed to stay motionless for a long moment, as though he had forgotten me completely and focused entirely on checking out my girlfriend in front of me.
"Hey," he said suddenly turning back to me and fixing me with an intense stare. "I just realised I never ID'd you."
