The Debauchery of Hope

**Author's Note-- Just a warning to sensitive or easily offended readers....there are going to be elements in the coming parts of this series that you might find objectionable...Fair Warning...

To Vivian-- Thanks for having the courage and candidness to share your situation...

Now on with the story.....

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"That's the craziest shit I've ever seen!" LJ Addison's deep, chuckling voice boomed through the living room of the converted farmhouse as he watched a college football game on TV.

"No....15 years ago that was me," 35 year old Hope Andrews blushed and assured.

Cal-Berkley was playing a home game late that Saturday afternoon and LJ had leaned forward in his recliner when he saw how several of the University's more hearty and liberal students had perched themselves in a tree just outside the stadium, and were apparently living in makeshifts houses they'd built between the branches in protest of a new athletic facilities building that was supposed to be built in that space.

"Nope..that's pretty much status quo..chances are if I was still there I would be one of them," Hope half covered her face and sighed.

"It was some crazy shit to live for a month in a tree to protest a building that would eventually be built anyway," Hope thought to herself as she stared with a mix of embarrassment and pride at what she was seeing on the TV screen.

"Still," Hope continued to ponder," it wasn't nearly as crazy as the physical, emotional, if not spiritual transformation she'd put herself through over the past few months."

Staring over at LJ as he leaned back in his seat and took a sip of his beer, Hope felt a tingle crest up and down her spine. Looking out the window at several of the disadvantaged inner city kids playing out in the fresh, shadowy air of dusk, Hope welled with pride at the accomplishment of finally getting the Project House completed. Feeling the raw throb between her legs after LJ had brutally fucked her twice earlier that afternoon, first in the bed, then in the shower, another sort of pride, one much more selfish, welled inside Hope.

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Hope Simone Andrews had been born in the early Fall of 1973, the third Daughter to Len and Beth Andrews in Suburban San Francisco. Her parents were about as liberal as they come having met during the hazy Haight-Ashbury days of the mid 60's. They'd married in late 1968 and pumped out three babies in pretty rapid succession. Len had put his English degree to work in the publishing field while Beth, an artist, worked from home as she raised her Daughters.

Love was never in short supply around the Andrews' home, even though money sometimes during those early days was. Growing up during the conspicuous consumption days of the 80's, Hope thankfully had foundation of her parents' belief in peace and love combined with the teachings from church that there was inherent good in everyone. While one of her Sisters ran away and tried to make a go as an actress in LA, and the other married a Commodity Trader and was living her life in the upper crust of San Francisco's social elite, Hope on the other hand had gotten her degree from Cal-Berkley then spent the better part of her 20's and early 30's traveling the world. She'd worked with the Peace Corps in Latin and South America, done missionary work through her church in Eastern Europe and helped at several Red Cross branches around the US before she found herself back home in Northern California when her Father had fallen ill a few months earlier.

Like many people who've dedicated a good chunk of their lives making other people happy, Hope had lost some of herself in the process. Deriving so much of her own sustenance from the welfare of others, by the time she found herself back home, closer to 50 than she was to being a teenager with her biological clock ticking, Hope gradually found herself in a murky and unsettled crises of self.

For awhile she thought maybe trying to meet a man, settle down and start a family might be the elixir she needed, but frankly staring down a disease epidemic in a third world country intimidated her far less than the thought of dating.

An admittedly geeky and gangly teenager, between her intelligence and heightened sense of purpose even from a young age, Hope quickly alienated herself from the boys in her peer group. Having also seen the relationship decisions her sisters had made, one marrying rich just to make an easy life for herself and the other scurrying from one man to another just to keep a roof over her head, Hope instead buried herself in her travels and in her work, and for a long time that fed her need for companionship.

She'd lost her virginity, quite awkwardly, during her first year of college and had several brief relationships with some of the men she met on her stops abroad, but generally those men tended to be just as socially and romantically inept as she was and nothing ever really blossomed. Men rarely approached her and being the shy type when it came to such things, Hope wasn't one to make the first move.

She knew her appearance had something to do with it. While she was 100% hetero, her short, boyish hairstyle, her reluctance to wear a lot of make-up combined with her wispy frame and casual clothing led many people on first glance to just assume Hope was a lesbian. She'd thought about possibly placing an ad on a dating site or trying to meet a guy from church once she was back home, but the fire beneath her just hadn't grown hot enough yet. So much of her energy had been swallowed up tending to her terminally ill Father, once he passed Hope had an even bigger void to fill.

What she needed was another career challenge, and she found it quite by accident.

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In her spare time, Hope started doing some mentoring work with the chapter of Fellowship of Christian Athletes at her old high school. Several of the students involved also attended her church so it seemed to be a natural outlet for Hope. Being late January, several of the boys in the club played on Golden Hills' varsity basketball team and when she had a free evening on her hands, Hope made a point of attending a couple of games.

Golden Hills didn't have much of a team when she'd been in school and after sitting through a few games, she quickly realized they hadn't gotten much better over the years. Still the boys tried hard and generally a good time was had by all. They'd been playing a rival school from across the Bay one evening and after the final horn, Hope found herself mingling down on the floor saying her 'goodnights' some of the people she knew when she saw the opposing coach walk up to Golden Hills' coach for their obligatory post-game handshake. Sensing the two men linger together as if they were discussing something important, Hope found herself gravitating in that direction.

The opposing coach's name was LJ Addison.

Despite the bustling chatter surrounding her, Hope could overhear portions of the two men's brief conversation. Apparently Coach Addison had been trying to get a project off the ground that helped get inner-city kids out of their neighborhoods on occasion and out to the country where they could experience some fresh air in their lungs and real grass under their feet instead of the concrete confines of the neighborhoods they'd been born into.

At some point Addison must have found out the Golden Hills' coach was married to a real estate agent and the two were discussing any potential properties that the program might be able to purchase.

Not only was the program LJ was envisioning having it struggles in this economy with its shoestring budget, with his inexperience in such an endeavor, the program was also struggling with its sense of focus. That's why there seemed to be a seismic shift in the air when Hope politely interjected herself into the conversation.

LJ Addison needed someone with experience in charitable community activism, and the spark of purpose Hope Andrews had been sorely lacking suddenly exploded like fireworks in front of her face.

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At 43, Laurence James Addison had been the basketball coach at Monroe High School for nearly a decade. He also served as a Phys. Ed teacher, a football coach and served as the head of the school's Junior ROTC program. Needless to say during the school year, LJ's time was at a premium.

At some point a few years earlier, an idea popped into LJ's head that would prove much more difficult in reality than it appeared on paper, not to mention a strain on his already limited time. Still it was one he was determined to see through. Having grown up on a farm in rural Alabama, his childhood, while filled with long and grueling days of work, left him with a work ethic and an appreciation for nature that had served him well through life.

A stint in the Navy had sent LJ to the west coast in his 20's, and the beautiful year round weather had aided in his decision to settle there. After finished up his teaching degree, LJ found the job at Monroe in his early 30's where he quickly became a father figure to many of the inner city youth who didn't have one around.

It didn't take long to see the hopelessness in many of the students he taught or coached. The burned-out buildings and trashy vacant lots of the neighborhood had created a general sense of apathy among one generation after another until it permeated the mindset of most everyone in the area. Driving through the neighborhood one day, seeing all the young men loitering on street corners or hustling for a score, it dawned on LJ that he would have never had the time to goof off while growing up the way it seemed most of the kids he encountered on a daily basis at school now did.

There was plenty of good farm land just outside of city limits and LJ stared to wonder how much of a difference it might make in a couple of kids' lives if they had a patch of green to act as a sanctuary on occasion, to get them off the death sentence that was the streets and allow them to absorb the safety and solitude of the country, and learn the meaning of an honest day's work.

LJ knew finding any sort of funding would be difficult. Whenever you approach city council asking for money to help inner city kids, their fall back was to always just build more basketball courts. Thankfully LJ had been able to nestle away quite a nice little nest egg as a down payment for such a thing if the opportunity ever presented itself, but it wasn't until he met Hope Andrews that late January night that he found someone who was equally as passionate about doing something along those lines.

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From a business standpoint, LJ and Hope's partnership was match made in heaven. LJ had the vision of what he wanted to do and Hope found herself inspired to help see it to fruition. Despite her passion and purpose however, for whatever reason Hope couldn't seem to shake the vague unsettledness she felt in LJ's presence. Working that many hours after school in his office, something strange was starting to happen inside Hope.

For one thing she was one of a precious few white faces around Monroe High School. As liberal as she'd been raised, Hope couldn't quite understand why she felt a gnawing discomfort about it, but in most cases during her life, even though she'd been surrounded by a vast array of people from different races and cultures, it was rare for her not to at least be in a core group of people from her similar background. She likened the feeling to being a macadamia nut sticking out in a box full of chocolate chips.

Ever sensitive, Hope eventually picked on the vibes from the faculty and students as she walked down the halls, all those inquisitive eyes wondering what Coach Addison was doing with that bookwormish looking white woman day after day. Despite the awkwardness however, Hope felt butterflies excitedly fluttering around her stomach each day as she made the afternoon drive across town to meet with LJ and sketch out ideas for his project.

The relationship took a turn however about two weeks after they'd met.

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Hope and LJ had been sitting in his office, scouring through several real estate listings and crunching some numbers on a mortgage calculator when one of the school's janitors came running in to get Coach Addison's attention. Someone had smashed the driver's side window and broken into Hope's car. As soon as she rounded the corner and briskly walked towards the main door, Hope could hear the familiar wail of her car alarm from the parking lot.

Racking her brain, trying to remember if she'd left any valuables inside the vehicle, she chuckled sarcastically to herself, reminded that she didn't really have anything that would qualify as such. Her cell phone and wallet safe in the purse slung over her shoulder, Hope and LJ walked outside to survey the damage.

Despite her relief that the thieves didn't make off with anything of value, the sight of all that broken glass spread out across the asphalt, not to mention the interior of the car, sent a nasty shockwave through Hope, one that she hadn't quite felt her entire life.

"Did they do it because she was an outsider?" she asked herself. "Did they actually think she had something in the car worth stealing or did they do it just as a symbolic gesture to say 'you're kind isn't welcome down here.' Or was she simply overthinking the whole thing..that is was simply a random smash and grab and her car just happened to be the one they picked."

Whichever it was, Hope found herself increasingly unsettled as she scoured the faces of the assembled kids watching the goings on. Sensing everyone there probably had a good idea who the perp was, Hope felt a visceral amount of discomfort rise like bile in her throat as she absorbed the weight of the curious stares.

"Do you want us to call the police?" she heard one of the assistant principals ask when he came out to see the damage.

"Probably wouldn't be a bad idea so I'll have something to take to the insurance company," Hope replied, unsettled even further when she saw the way the kids seemed to scatter when they heard the cops were on their way.

"I guess that means we're done for the day," LJ grinned, kicking some of the shattered glass out of the tread of his shoe.

"Yeah..I guess," came Hope's still shaken response.

The shift in Hope's aura hadn't been lost on LJ and without warning, something even more primal inside him tripped as well.

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A newly kindled fascination with Hope suddenly came into focus for LJ as he re-played the events of that afternoon over and over in his head. LJ knew on some level Hope was drawn to him. While not necessarily a physical pull, he could clearly sense Hope's openness to him in the way she fell lockstep into wanting to see his vision for the farm project be realized. He sincerely enjoyed their afternoons together, hammering out the details of getting the program off the drawing board but now feared the incident with her car might cause Hope to re-think her commitment to help him if those were the types of kids he was aiming to help.

Even though they hadn't discussed the specifics, LJ's instinct told him Hope hadn't had a lot of luck with men. Knowing how easily intimidated most guys were by a strong woman, LJ knew Hope's unapologetic use of her intelligence and self-reliance had probably scared away a good many men. To compound things, he also knew Hope's moral backbone and old-fashioned values probably made it difficult for her to do the pursuing.

Twice divorced, LJ knew he had little room trying to play the expert role when it came to relationships. Monogamy had always proven to be his little weakness, and finally after his two failed marriages LJ had finally come to peace with his roaming ways. Thankfully over the years he'd developed a pretty good radar for finding women that were looking for the same type of arrangement he was. Hope Andrews was the furthest thing from that.

He'd bedded several white women in the past, much to the infuriation of both his Ex-Wives, but they were usually the bar-fly types he met at clubs or the occasional unsatisfied woman he discovered on the internet. Never would he have given a second thought to seeing a woman as well versed and worldly as Hope as a sex object.

Seeing the way the seemingly unflappable woman became after her car was broken into however, suddenly LJ could smell the weakness and vulnerability permeating from Hope, and as sad as it was to admit, somehow that turned him on.

When he saw Hope walk into his office two days later for their next scheduled appointment, LJ was heartened she had come back and was willing to continue helping him finish the project. Upon further inspection however, he could see a subtle change in Hope, almost as if her facade had been shattered the same way her windshield had, and now his curiosity was burning to see what was beneath.

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On the surface, things seemed to ease back to the status quo between Hope and LJ over the next few meetings. With his heightened attention to the woman's subtle cues, LJ could see the way Hope was a little more hesitant to make eye contact with people as she roamed the school's hallways, not to mention the way she'd jump ever so slightly each time a bell or sudden noise jolted the silence.

They hadn't openly talked in-depth about what happened in the parking lot that day, but LJ could tell it was still on Hope's mind when he saw the wandering and accusatory gaze in her eyes each time she saw a cluster of students standing around. It was the least he could do to walk Hope out to her car each evening when they'd finished what they were working on. And it almost seemed like LJ had become the woman's safety blanket in the otherwise treacherous jungle she sensed the school had become. Even though the two had been using each other's first name since the first night they'd met, there was now an ease when each addressed the other.

Clearly feeling Hope's growing instinctual dependence on him, LJ found himself hovering over Hope's shoulder a little longer each time he was reading something she was working on with the computer, allowing the warmth of his breath to sweep across Hope's neck until the trace of goosebumps rose on her arms. He would also stare just a little longer into Hope's eyes each time she said something, holding the gaze until she'd unconsciously fidget with her hands or feet.

It was about three weeks after the car break-in when fate provided LJ with an opportunity to test his new found trust.

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Perhaps it was his imagination, but LJ was sure he could smell Hope's estrus increase as their visits continued. They'd made quite a bit of progress on the project and now had a half dozen potential properties lined up if they could get the financing. LJ assumed Hope was so far invested now that he had a mulligan or two in his back pocket if he tried something with her that she perhaps wasn't ready for, or interested in. He hadn't really visualized, much less planned out exactly how he'd try to make the first move, but he knew he was the one that had to make it. In the end, LJ couldn't fathom just how base, or easy, it would be.

It was a little after 7 one evening in early March, long after everyone else at the school had headed home for the day. Hope had swung around from her seat in front of the computer to reach for a pen when she wound up knocking several notebooks off the edge of Coach Addison's cluttered desk. Immediately dropping to the floor to clean up the small mess, Hope didn't see LJ hop up from his chair and walk towards her.

"I'm.....so...sorry....I'm..so...clumsy....I....," Hope mumbled as she tried organizing the scattered papers before sticking them back into the notebooks.