The Adventures Of Brotherman

Robert Morris was getting nervous that he wouldn't be able to find the right leading lady.

The 27-year-old comedy star was preparing to direct his first film, "The Adventures of Brotherman," a spoof of the DC and Marvel Comics superhero films that had dominated movie screens. Robert would play the title character, an alien from the planet Afroa with "extra speed, extra strength, and an extra-sized schlong," as the film's catchphrase put it. He had trained for months to put on the muscle necessary for the role, and feared that if he couldn't find the right co-star, First Fleet Pictures would pull the plug on the film.

In the script, Brotherman had to protect Twiggy Lilac, a white, blonde Australian rapper (and an obvious parody of Iggy Azalea), from Militanto, a villain from Afroa (also played by Robert) who wanted to "keep black music black." Brotherman vowed to keep Twiggy safe, declaring, "Hip-hop is for everybody in the universe!"

None of the actresses he had auditioned for the role of Twiggy Lilac seemed to work. Either they weren't funny enough, or they couldn't rap, or they just didn't seem to understand the role. Just when Robert was about to give up, in walked Mandy O'Reilly for an audition.

Robert's cock told him she had the role as soon as he saw her. Mandy was a firecracker-long, curly blonde hair, green eyes, shapely (though not large) breasts, a pierced belly button, a butterfly tattoo on her arm. She was from Wollongong, and looked like she could be Iggy's younger, hotter sister.

Mandy's arse made Robert scream silently. He had never seen a white woman with so much booty; Robert was convinced that she had to have some black in her family history, even though her skin was Kidman-pale. For a few moments, all he could do was stare.

"Did you have a stroke?" Mandy asked, her accent and humor impressing her would-be co-star. "Shall I call a doctor?"

"Uh, uh, no," said Robert, snapping out of it. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Good to know."

"Indeed. Well, let me know when you're ready to get started."

"I'm ready right now. You remember that?"

"Yeah, yeah," said Robert, smiling as Mandy recalled his catchphrase from his first big hit, "Brooklyn Dodgers." "So, they told me about you. You was on some soap opera, uh, what was the name again?"

"'Home and Away.'"

"Yeah, that was it."

"That's why I left the show-I couldn't wait to get away from home."

"Hah!" Robert laughed. He liked this girl.

Mandy aced the audition, demonstrating her ability to credibly rap, her sharp sense of humor, and her amazing charisma. The most challenging scene-the one that seemed to trip up so many actresses before her-was the parody of the famous flying sequence from the '70s "Superman" film, as Brotherman flew Twiggy over New York City as the Aussie rapper wondered out loud what it would be like to fuck the hung hero. Mandy's spoof of Margot Kidder was spot-on, and Robert knew the part was hers.

Robert had a reputation as the "nicest guy in Hollywood"; he was horrified by the stories of his movie-star colleagues sexually harassing actresses and female extras on set, and vowed never to engage in this sort of behavior. Yet, he couldn't get Mandy off his mind during filming; every moment not setting up a shot or filming a sequence was spent fantasizing about this Aussie beauty, envisioning himself feeling on her arse, wrapping his big hands around her slim waist, sucking and licking her breasts, running his fingers through her long blonde hair, eating her pussy and making her cum.

After filming and post-production ended, Robert still couldn't work up the nerve to ask her out. He didn't want her to feel any pressure to date him; he would never do anything to hurt her career if she turned him down. He just wanted to be with her.

Finally, after "The Adventures of Brotherman" had a successful test screening in Los Angeles, Robert called Mandy and asked if she'd like to go out to dinner to celebrate.

"Sure," she replied from her apartment in West Hollywood. "Wanna pick me up?"

Robert drove over to her apartment and was welcomed by Mandy, who wore the tightest little black dress ever made. She kissed him on the cheek and motioned for him to come in.

"Just have to run to the ladies' room, and I'll be ready."

"Sure."

Robert walked into Mandy's bedroom and was shocked: virtually every inch of her bedroom wall was covered with posters and photos of black men-Idris Elba, Morris Chestnut, Dwayne Johnson, Shemar Moore, even porn stars like Lexington Steele and Justin Slayer. Oh my God, he thought to himself, she is a black cock freak.

Driven by curiously, he walked over to Mandy's drawer; he wanted to see if she had any black dildos in her possession.

Suddenly, he heard her laugh.

"You guys are all alike-you always want to know what tools a girl's got."

Mandy seductively rubbed her pale finger against the dark strap of her dress.

"So, I have just one question for you."

"Yeah?"

She pulled down the strap, revealing her sexy, pale, lightly freckled shoulder.

"Do you prefer to go out tonight...or would you rather eat in?"