Jeff, my brother, was out of town for the week. My Dad and I had just made love. In case you're not familiar with my story, my mother had tragically died on my 18th birthday. There was a lot of guilt on my part because she had been attending to last minute details for my birthday party when she ran a stop sign and was killed. This made my grief even worse. My Dad and I grieved together, and alone - my brother had stubbornly refused to sit out a semester of college to help us with the grieving process. This, coupled with my fear that Daddy would do himself harm, leaving me all alone, led to us bonding closer than Dads and daughters usually do - it led to me taking my mother's place, in every way.
When I became involved with Daddy, I had crossed what was, to me, a very taboo line - so when Jeff came home for the summer, it just happened - we crossed the line, too. All of these events are detailed in previous episodes.
I had recently graduated from high school. I was a top scholar in mathematics and had gotten a job for the summer tutoring high school students who had failed their math classes or who just needed to strengthen their math skills. I had 8 students that I was to tutor 45 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for most of the summer.
At the end of the previous episode, I had only completed one day of my tutorial sessions. The only hitch my first day was the insistent flirting of a black athlete, Lewis. For some reason, even though I found his flirting irritating and distracting, he was on my mind that evening.
I had never been fond of pornography - well, let's just say that I tried not to look at it because I believed that it leads to a desensitizing of sex. I had seen it. One of the things that I had found fascinating was interracial sex. I had watched videos with guys like Mandingo and Julio Lopez and some guy that called himself Blackzilla. I didn't care for Blackzilla much, but his cock looked as thick as a sack of sausage. Julio Lopez had the biggest cock I ever saw on a human being. It looked as big as a horse. I must admit that I liked looking at it. My personal favorite was Mandingo. He was generally more tender and loving - as if that's important in porn - than others were. I digress. Suffice it to say that, if I were going to watch porn, I liked watching well-hung black studs. I guess that, when Lewis flirted with me, it made me imagine him in those videos.
The next day, when I went to school to tutor, I wore jeans and a blue, button-up blouse. I rarely ever wear anything that shows much cleavage, and I certainly wasn't going to do so on this job. I wanted to be professional, even though they had informed me that I could dress as casually as I wanted, within reason. Even shorts were permissible, but the building was air-conditioned, and I'm very cold-natured. I don't dress to look sexy, but I have a good body and it's apparent that I have nice breasts. I don't try to accentuate them, but I'm not going to try to hide the fact that I'm a woman.
Lewis was my 4th student - 10:15 to 11:00, right before my 30 minute lunch break. I was a little nervous when he came in, dressed in baggy shorts and a basketball jersey. He had told me the previous day that he was 6-4. I guessed him to weigh around 200 pounds. He was lean, yet muscular. I liked the way he was put together. No fat. Nothing soft or pudgy. He was nice looking and clean shaven. His hair was well-trimmed. I thought he was relatively handsome. He had failed a grade way back in grammar school, he had informed me, so he was 18 years old and just beginning his senior year that coming fall. I knew from reading the local papers that he was a star player in both football and basketball.
He flopped down in the chair next to me. I sat at a large table. We had a computer, should we need it, a graphing calculator, books, and plenty of paper and pencils. I also had an outline of what he needed to work on to enable him to take a test to give him credit in Algebra 2.
"Mornin, Miss Smith, you lookin fine!" he said with a broad grin. "So we gonna be solving the quadratic equation today?"
"Lewis, you can call me Pam, or Pamela, if you like," I told him. "Also, there is no such thing as THE quadratic equation. There are an infinite number or quadratic equations. You mean the quadratic FORMULA."
"Equation, formula - who gives a shit?" He regarded me warily, testing to see if I would allow him to use profanity.
"Lewis, I'd rather you didn't use profanity, but I'm not going to make a big deal of it." I paused, looking into his eyes. This kid made me nervous. "One of the things that can make you better in math is learning to call things by the correct terms. I know that sounds silly, but it's the truth. A formula and an equation are about as alike as a basketball and a pickle!" I smiled.
"A'ight," he replied. "I do know what the quadratic formula is, but I don't know what it does."
A breakthrough! I knew that when someone admitted what they didn't understand about a topic, learning could occur.
"Ok! That's great. Let me ask you this, Lewis. Do you know what a quadratic function is?" I could tell he didn't follow. "Do you know what shape a quadratic makes when you graph it?"
"It make a parabola, right?"
Wow, Lewis did know something. I was excited. I could teach him something. "Absolutely right!" I said enthusiastically. "Do you know what the x-axis is?"
"I ain't dumb! Hell yeah, I know." Then, "I mean, yeah I know all that."
"The quadratic formula tells us where the parabola will cross the x-axis, saving us the trouble of graphing it," I said.
"For real?" he seemed surprised.
We discussed quadratics for a few more minutes, even though that wasn't what I had planned for him that day. He was proficient with the graphing calculator, so I showed him that, using the quadratic formula, he would get the same answers as he got on the graphing calculator. This led to a discussion of irrational and complex numbers. I was pleasantly surprised that he had a vague knowledge of just about everything I brought up.
"Lewis, how did you fail this course? You know so much about this! You're not an expert," I laughed, "but you know way more than I was led to believe."
Lewis looked at the floor, then up at me again. He looked angry. "You don't know what I know and what I don't know," he said. "And you just like everybody else. You don't care. Your job is to get the nigger eligible to play."
I put my hand on his. "But I do care, Lewis. My mother was a math teacher..."
"Wait. Yo' mama was the one that got killed wasn't it? Shit... I just now realized that." He looked genuinely sorry.
"Yes. She was always involved in her students' lives - not just in their academics. I want to be just like her!" I said, realizing that a tear was running down my face.
Lewis reached over and wiped my face. "I'm sorry, Miss Smith. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I won't do that no more."
I smiled and blew my nose. "It's ok. I just don't want you to ever think that I don't care. I do."
"I can't read good, Miss Smith."
"What?" I asked, incredulously.
"That's why I mess up the tests. I ain't bad in math. I can do arithmetic in my head, pretty good. But I can't read the words. Do that make sense?"
"Yes! Yes! It makes complete sense. I can help you with that, too," I said, thinking, 'how are you going to do that, Pamela??'
We finished our session. As Lewis got up to leave he said, "I wish we had more time together. I like you. And you're the sexiest teacher I ever had!"
"Lewis! You can't say stuff like that," I protested.
"You don't like to be called sexy?" he teased. His grin was so big and genuine that I couldn't be mad at him, nor even act like I was irritated.
"It's just... inappropriate, given our respective roles," I managed to say.
"You a sexy woman, Pamela. I can't keep from thinking that, even though I'm gonna respect you because you're trying to help me. But I have to tell you that you be on my mind ever since yesterday morning - you be surprised at the things I thought about."
"Lewis! Stop! Now! This is very inappropriate. We have had a good session. Don't ruin it. I'll see you tomorrow," I said as I led him out the door.
It was time for lunch, but my heart was racing. I sat in my chair, unable to get him or his words out of my mind. My hands were shaking and my palms were sweaty. I went to the restroom and found that my panties were drenched. What was I going to do? How could I endure this every day? Couldn't he detect that I was attracted to him? What if he smelled me and realized how turned on I was? He had made it clear that he found me attractive - and I was dying to know what "things" he had thought about.
I managed to make it through my remaining sessions that afternoon, and I'm sure that I did an adequate job, but my mind kept going back to Lewis. He was so handsome, and he was kinda pleasant, and he wasn't stupid - and he was black and was, no doubt, hung like Mandingo or Julio Lopez. Oh my! What was I going to do?
I got home by 4:00 PM. Dad never gets home before 5 or 6. I immediately went upstairs, took a shower, then went into my room, wrapped in a towel and fired up my old desktop computer. I turned on the VPN and used a browser that was "incognito". I searched "big black cock" and, within minutes had located several videos starring my favorite black actors.
I started watching some skinny little actress named Riley Reid with Mandingo. She looked no older than me - she was very proficient at giving head and it was so obvious to me that she was either the best actress in history, or she was really enjoying her work. She was licking and sucking at his long black dick and massive balls. He was enjoying it immensely. He was moaning as she knelt before him, worshiping his cock and balls.
I threw my towel in the floor and put my feet up in the chair, spreading my legs as I fingered myself, playing with my clit and inserting fingers into my wet pussy. I stuck two fingers in as deeply as I could, then licked them off. I needed to be fucked. It popped in my mind that I had been well-fucked for the last two weeks and that the last thing on my mind should be sex. Yet that was all that was on my mind.
I fast-forwarded the video a bit to see Riley climb on top of Mandingo and easily insert him into her pussy. I knew that, if it were me, I couldn't take it that easily, but as soon as she started riding it she was screaming like a banshee with pleasure. She began to grind her hips in a circular motion and I imagined what it would be like to have nearly a foot of black cock inside me, grinding into my cervix, while I screwed myself even farther down on it. I exploded, nearly falling out of my chair. I rarely squirt when I cum, but on this occasion I squirted 2 or 3 streams onto the floor. I closed the browser, wiped the floor, and, shakily, made my way to my bed. I felt drowsy and fell asleep.
Maybe an hour later, I heard Daddy downstairs. He rarely ever came upstairs - not that it would matter. I was naked, but what did that matter? There was nothing on the computer screen that I needed to hide. I got dressed in a cut off tee shirt that revealed my flat tummy and came just below the bottoms of my boobs and a pair of skimpy panties and went downstairs.
When Daddy saw me, he obviously liked what he saw. He smiled. "Good day, Pammy?"" he asked as his eyes roved over my body.
"It was a great day," I answered. "What's for supper?"
"Well, I don't know. You don't look like you're dressed to go out," he observed.
