Dating after a BAD divorce, is there anything harder or more heartbreaking? When you're a man of a certain age, you come to realize certain things. Like the fact that widowers are considered cooler than divorcees in today's dating game, and older guys appeal only to younger chicks with daddy issues, them and young women seeking sugar daddies. I'm not rich or anywhere near it. I'm stuck paying the mortgage for a house I no longer live in. Yeah, my life is just about perfect. My name is Vladimir Barrett and I'm a forty-four-year-old Jamaican-Canadian man living in the City of Boston, Massachusetts.
Eight months ago, my wife of twenty two years, Valerie McDowell, divorced me and took my house, my car and whatever's left of my dignity. I got canned from my old job at Hertz, where I used to make seventy five thousand dollars a year as a branch manager. I've been working there since 1999. Thanks to Valerie's ( false ) allegation of domestic abuse, I got fired. My former boss, Ricky O'Connell, flat out told me that he couldn't abide having a wife beater as his top man. Might set a bad example for the others, he said. Yeah, he just let me go. Never mind that Valerie's allegations were completely untrue, and I have never laid a hand on her. That bitch cost me everything, man. Pardon my French but I can't stand her.
Looking back, I shouldn't be surprised that Valerie did what she did. My ex has always been a somewhat vindictive broad. I knew that when we first met at Northeastern University in the fall of 1991. I was a newcomer to the United States, having moved to Boston from my hometown of Black River, Jamaica, in the summer of 1990. America fascinated me with its beauty, its danger and contradictions. I still had a thick Jamaican accent I was trying to get rid of, but some American ladies found it sexy. What can I say? I've got that island flavor. Or had it, I guess. My accent is long gone.
The first time I laid eyes on Valerie McDowell, I knew she was trouble but like a lot of guys have done in my position, I overlooked the fact that she had psycho tendencies because she had a pretty face and a really nice ass. Sex is a powerful thing, man, and it can make a fool out of the smartest of men. You should have seen Valerie back then. Five-foot-ten, busty and big-bottomed, with light brown skin, long curly black hair and greenish eyes. Valerie was born in the City of Dallas, Texas, to an Irish-American mother and African-American father. We came from different worlds and mixed like oil and vinegar, but somehow we ended up together. Living among the rednecks in Texas, Valerie had to get tough early on. I understand that. Unfortunately, she just didn't know when to turn it off, that's what led to the demise of our relationship.
The first time Valerie and I went out to a restaurant, there was an incident. Theresa the waitress, a busty Irish redhead, was very friendly towards me because I'd come to the restaurant many times before and I was a big tipper. Upon seeing our friendly interactions, Valerie flipped out and started cussing the waitress, and I had to physically stop her from beating the hapless young woman up. Now, a smarter guy would have seen Valerie's bitchy behavior as a sign that she's one crazy broad and given her a wide berth. Me? I continued seeing her, constantly making excuses for her bad behavior, and after knocking her up, I married her. I wanted to get my MBA but had to settle for my bachelor's degree in business from Northeastern University after Valerie got pregnant. I made the sacrifice for her and the sake of our family. I've been in hell ever since.
The only good things to come out of my relationship with Valerie are our twin daughters, Deanna and Veronica. I absolutely love my darlings, and they've brought immeasurable joy into my existence. Veronica followed in my footsteps, and she's in the MBA program at Northeastern University. As for Deanna, she's currently studying civil engineering at the University of Calgary in metropolitan Calgary, province of Alberta, Canada. We visited the beautiful City of Calgary in the summer of 2008, one of our last great vacations as a family, and Deanna has been fascinated by all things Canadian ever since. Good for her, I guess.
Life is hell for me these days, man. I'm not even going to pretend otherwise. I live in a one-bedroom apartment in Dorchester, about five minutes from Ashmont Station. It's one of the seediest neighborhoods in the City of Boston, in spite of the gentrification of recent times. Yup, after two decades in the suburbs of Milton, I was back in the hood as a middle-aged, underemployed and recently divorced black man. Isn't life awesome? Sorry if I'm a little down. I'm having trouble seeing the silver lining with all the bullshit life's been throwing my way. There's only so much one guy can handle before he absolutely loses it, and I'm afraid I might not be far off...
The other day, I went to the Boston Public Library downtown, the one on Copley, not far from Prudential Shopping Center, my favorite mall. After browsing through the African-American literature section, I saw that they didn't have a particular piece of nonfiction I was looking for. I thought I might have better luck at one of the bookstores nearby, the Back Bay is full of them. Since Copley Mall was the closest, I thought I'd try it. I hadn't been there in a while and honestly, I kind of missed it. That's where I ran into an old friend of mine, Julianna Marwah. I was coming out of the bookstore, a copy of Henry Louis Gates epic book Wonders of the African World tucked under my arm, when I heard a feminine voice call my name.