Hi, everyone. This is my first time here; my first time doing this, so go easy on me, okay? I'm a little nervous. So, um, how do I begin? Well, my closest friend recently held something like an "intervention" for me. He showed me the path my life was taking and offered an alternative. I've never heard of a support group that requires an audition, but he suggested that I attend these meetings and try to get in. Oh, he's also my sponsor, and he suggested that I should write everything down to make sure I don't miss anything, so here's my story. I guess I should start at the beginning, huh? My name is Chastity Baker, and I'm a sex addict.
I wasn't always that way. A sex addict. In fact, back then, most people would have considered me very conservative; a prude, even. For those that didn't make it to the meeting and are reading this on the group's website, I'll describe myself. I'm a five-foot-four white woman. Blonde hair, blue eyes, amazing breasts, perfect ass - you know, everything the magazines say I should be. I never flaunted it, though. I wore sports bras and anything else I could find to make me look plain. I had developed early and became the center of attention at my school at the age of thirteen. I remember being embarrassed by all the boys openly staring at my chest or hitting on me. I quickly learned that I could avoid the attention simply by dressing differently. The embarrassment I felt for my body, however, never really went away. Well, until I met that certain someone...
***
"You have such a hot body, baby! And our anniversary is next week...c'mon, let's leave the lights on, just this once," my husband, Nathan, pleaded in the dark as he pawed at my large breasts.
"Nathan, no...you know I don't like anyone looking at my body. Not even you...it makes me uncomfortable," I replied, squirming as I felt the usual surge of guilt that accompanied refusing his desires. "I'm sorry, baby..."
"It's fine," he sighed, clearly disappointed, but nevertheless horny. He rested on top of me, his erection pressing against my privates. He pushed his full five inches into me and groaned in pleasure.
Nathan and I had been together for almost five years at that time, and we didn't have sex very often until recently. He and I had been trying for a couple months to get pregnant. I wanted a baby and Nathan went along with it, most likely just to have more sex with me. I never much cared for it, though. Back in college, just after we had given our vows, my friends used to talk about their sex lives. They made it sound like sex was amazing, but it never seemed that way to me. I wasn't sure if it was due to Nathan's ability or if my own inhibitions prevented me from feeling the supposed pleasure. Although I felt like I had missed the bus when it came to sex, I knew it made Nathan happy, so I pretended to enjoy it.
"Yeah, Nathan, that's it," I said mechanically as his short, quick thrusts stabbed into me. His hands moved from my D-sized breasts down to my slender hips, pressing himself firmly against me and howling.
"Oh, shit, Chastity, I'm cumming," he rasped into my ear. He panted heavily a few times, then lifted himself up. "Maybe this will be the one," he said, patting my belly. "Um, but there's something I need to tell you..."
***
Nathan is a business man for some company. I can't remember the name of the place, but he makes good money. We get along most of the time. When we argue, it usually has something to do with my prudishness. Unexpectedly, despite my insecurities about my body, I somehow found myself as a yoga instructor. Maybe it isn't the best use of my B.A. in Psychology, but we didn't need the money. It helped keep me fit, and it was easy to avoid attention when surrounded by numerous scantily-clad women.
If there is one thing about Nathan that really pushes my buttons, though, it is his gambling. He is one of those men who just doesn't know when to cut his losses. Though we weren't in debt, I knew that it was only a matter of time if he didn't get himself under control. His gambling, in fact, is the reason that I'm here telling my story.
***
"Baby, I'm sorry," Nathan said, concern in his eyes.
"I can't believe you," I replied. "You're telling me that you made a bet...for ME?"
"Well, you see..." he stalled, trying to think of an excuse. "It wasn't me, it was my boss! Yeah, Tyrell did it! I ran out of money and he wanted to play one more hand, so he said to me - he said that I could have all the money I had lost back if I won, but if I lost, he got a date with you..."
"I'm not going out with your boss, or anyone else for that matter," I stated sternly.
"I can't back out, baby, or I might lose my job! Please, you have to do this for me," he pleaded.
"Jesus, Nathan. It's a three days before our five year anniversary and you're forcing me to go on a date with your boss? You had better do something incredible for me on Sunday. If it'll save your job, I'll do it. One date with Tyrell."
"Actually," Nathan mumbled, "I kinda owe him...three dates. Tonight, Saturday, and Sunday..."
"On our ANNIVERSARY?" I shrieked, my anger rising again. "You're telling me that I have to go out on a DATE with your BLACK BOSS on our ANNIVERSARY? I should be spending that time with YOU! You're unbelievable, Nathan. Un-fucking-believable."
My husband looked at me with fear. He knew I never curse except when I'm really furious. I spun around and stormed into the bathroom before I did something I would regret.
"Um, I know you're mad," Nathan called from behind the shut door, "but Mr. Oswald is going to be here in a couple hours, so..." he trailed off.
I fumed in the bathroom, preparing the shower. This was by far the stupidest thing my stupid husband had ever done. I thought for a long time in that shower, the steamy water cascading down my silky white skin. I decided that, for the sake of Nathan's job, I would oblige his selfishness and meet with his boss for the next three days.
***
Let me tell you about Nathan's boss. Tyrell Oswald is a beast of a man. A man in his early thirties, he stands at a towering six-foot-two, rippling muscles covering his arms, chest, and legs -- it's no wonder why his nickname is 'Big T.' He keeps his face clean-shaven, and I don't think I've ever seen him wearing anything but a professionally tailored suit. The lumbering black man is an intimidating presence, and he clearly isn't accustomed to taking 'no' for an answer. Although very handsome, I am always inclined to think of him as a brute. He probably bullies those that are smaller than him, my husband included.
***
I clutched my purse tightly, sitting stiffly on the couch, dreading the arrival of my black dining partner. My chest involuntarily tightened when the doorbell rang. I shakily stood and clumsily walked to the door, my heels clicking loudly against the hardwood floor. I opened the door and found myself staring into the barrel chested Mr. Oswald.
"Hello, Mrs. Baker; it's been a while, hasn't it?" the huge man said pleasantly with a wide smile.
"Y-yes," I stammered, "I think the last time I saw you was..."
"The Christmas party," he finished. "Yes, your husband sure was quite the drunkard, wasn't he?" The man laughed out loud, then went on to say, "Speaking of Nathan, where is he?"
"Oh, he left...I think he was a little scared to see you," I replied, feeling a little more comfortable around the amiable man.
"Scared?" Mr. Oswald guffawed. "Well, that's all right. Maybe I'll see him when I return you. You look lovely tonight, Mrs. Baker. Are you ready?" he asked, holding out his hand.