Have you ever seen a pair of lips so perfect... that your most innate and immediate thought... was how they would feel placing soft wet kisses between your thighs?
No? I hadn't either.
But for the last 45 minutes, all I have been able to think about is if having letters of the alphabet being traced around your clit feels as good as it sounds.
When I had scrolled upon the Instagram post advertising the weekday night creative writing class, I had been excited. It would be a few nights a week in one of the classrooms of my former high school. I had just turned 31, and while my day job and social life kept me mostly busy... a small part of me was always upset that my love for writing had taken a back seat to my other pursuits.
So what an amazing opportunity to get back into it, right? Maybe learn a few new things. I hadn't been in a classroom environment for years. I even looked forward to possibly meeting a few new like-minded literary types.
Walking into the stuffy, warm classroom was nostalgic. I remembered this place from decades ago when I had taken a Spanish class in 10th grade. Sliding into the seat at the back of the class was also a comforting throwback to the last time I had been here.
My eyes darted around the room to the dozen or so other participants that had beat me here. Mostly older men and women. Very serious looking. I shrugged, letting visions of after class happy hour meet-ups slip away somewhat regretfully.
An over preparer, I had done a mini back-to-school shopping trip in anticipation of this weekend class. Nothing was actually required per the details on the ad. Just send a quick email requesting a spot and an optional Paypal donation was all that was required for registration. But I figured the shiny gold pens that matched my white marble patterned notebook and laptop cover wouldn't hurt.
It was those stupid matching pens that had actually occupied my attention when he walked in. One had rolled off of the edge of my tiny little desk (I forgot how small these desks had been) and clattered against the floor. Sweeping my long honey brown curls into a messy bun on top of my head, I bent down to pick it up, nearly smacking my head on the underside of the desk when the deep voice broke the silence in the room.
"Wow, there are more of you here than I expected."
I shot up quickly, righting myself, and looking at the head of the class at the man who had spoken.
Less than average height. A messy brown undercut, highlighted by a few sunkissed strands. Definitely not my usual type-- but really, what had keeping a height requirement yielded me anyway?
He was dressed casually... The long sleeve graphic tee promoted some obscure bands tour schedule. Khaki shorts and colorful pair of Air Jordan Ones made it clear he either had plans before or after this.
He laughed awkwardly, flashing a perfect lopsided grin at the class in front of him. "But I appreciate you all being here. I'm Cody... and hopefully, in these next few weeks I can help you all explore the depth of your souls through the magic of written word..."
Another awkward pause. Another short laugh and a big grin. "Or at very least entertain me with whatever weird fan fiction you guys come up with."
So he was cute and had a sense of humor.
I had to stop myself from smiling, bringing my attention back to the notebook in front of me. I doodled and made irrelevant notes as he went over the loose rubric for the class.
"Don't hate me for this..." he started as he moved to sit-up on the desk behind him. "... but, how about we get some introductions going?"
There was an audible groan amongst the group of adults in front of him. Not surprising, as we were all well past school-aged. But he pressed on.
"I know it's corny, but it's easier to read your work when I know a little background on the author. So, who's first?"
The silence was uncomfortable. Most of the class began shifting awkwardly, suddenly finding their pens or cellphones much more interesting.
Fuck it. Mostly because I hate seeing someone be subjected to awkwardness, I slowly rose my hand.
He lifted his eyes to meet mine then, his face almost surprised? Like he just realized that more than the first row of students existed. He nodded in my direction, prompting me to stand.
"What are we supposed to say?"
He smiled again, raising a hand to run the pad of his thumb along his bottom lip thoughtfully. "How about... where you're from... and what you hope to get out of this class?"
I nodded, feeling the same first-day of school jitters I had more than a decade ago when I last roamed these halls.
"Well, I'm Giselle." I scanned the room while lifting my hand in a short awkward wave. "I grew up around here... in North Atlanta. I actually graduated from this school." I shifted my eyes back to Cody at the front of the room where his gaze was already awaiting mine. "And, I don't know. I used to write a lot when I was younger... and I wanted a space where I could do that. With some professional guidance, I guess."
He smiled and I did not miss the slow and intentional way he let his teeth graze his bottom lip as I finished speaking.
We held eye contact for what felt like a private eternity, but I'm sure it was just a few seconds. I felt the heat creeping up from my collar, and I knew I was only seconds away from full blush.
"Nice to meet you, Giselle. And I seriously hope I can meet your expectations when it comes to guidance you're looking for."
I sat slowly, needing a second to regroup after that moment. Was I sweating? How the fuck had someone I had just met verbally fucked me without really saying anything?
The rest of the class went on unremarkably. Cody's eyes would drift over to me every so often while the other students rambled on about their reasons for joining the class. Occasionally a small smile or laugh in my direction when someone said something particularly weird or awkward.
He was cute as fuck. When he wasn't looking my way, I would stare openly. I saw him the first time he walked in... but there is something about someone showing interest in you that makes you re-examine them all over again.
I took note of some of the weird tattoos that covered his arms and legs, wondering idly the stories behind them. They were all small and separate, not cohesive. An intentional design.
I liked the way his eyes would crinkle at the corners when he would laugh. And the way he would push his messy hair back every so often. He had this ridiculously cool air about him. Super confident and self-assured.
I was still staring lost in thought, biting the end of one of my fancy pens when I missed the assignment he gave the class. I saw his sexy full lips moving, but my mind was somewhere far off thinking about the alphabet and the capabilities of his tongue.
I panicked a little, looking towards my neighbors, who on top of not looking super friendly, were already picking up their bags to leave.
"Fuck." Quietly, under my breath. I began slowly packing my things. Super pleased with myself for buying all of this shit to take notes and not managing to record a single important thing from the class.
As I stood, I met eyes with an approaching Cody. Hands in his pockets, he stopped to lean against the desk in front of me. "You good?"
Upclose, he only had a few inches on my 5'2 frame. But what he lacked in height, he made up for in obvious confidence. I could almost feel the energy he radiated.
"I think I missed the assignment." I pulled my bag over my shoulder. "Do you think you could go over it one more time?"
Cody smirked, eyes narrowing. "Giselle, you're killing me."
His smile and his eye contact made me flush. I watched him pull a hand from his pocket, pushing it through his hair, before speaking.
"Just write anything. A poem, story... whatever. I just want to get an idea of your style."
I nodded. Easy enough. I gave Cody a quick smile and an awkward wave and moved past him. He followed after me, stopping at his desk as I continued to the door.
"Hey, Giselle."
I turned around to see him leaning over the desk, tapping out something on his laptop. "Cody?"
"Don't overthink it. Just let it come naturally." He didn't make eye contact as he said this. And it took me a second to understand what he was referring to.
-------------------------------------------
"Giselle."
Everyone was still filing into the classroom on Monday night when Cody called on me, stopping me in my path to my desk.
Every time he said my name, I couldn't stop the goosebumps that would prickle my skin. The way the first class had gone still stood out in my mind. But the weeks since then, he hadn't so much as looked in my direction. I couldn't decide if I had just misread all of the nuances that day... or if I had done something to make him change his mind.
I turned back to face him. The obvious tiny crop tops and sweatpants I had tried to get Cody's attention with last week hadn't moved him, so this week I opted for a simple suede skirt and an oversized sweater. "Yes?"
He looked at his laptop for a few seconds before speaking, tapping quickly before looking up. Meeting my gaze, he narrowed his eyes. There was the faintest hint of a smile on his lips.
"Can we speak for a second after class today?"
I nodded. "Was there an issue with my paper?"
The words came out innocently, but I had an idea what the problem may have been.
The assignment had been to describe a transformative moment. Something that had recently happened in your life that caused a temporary or permanent change.