It is two years after Sun Suk’s “Summer of Awakenings.” Her first crush, long before Brenda and Brad comes back into her life. They meet at a party, and this time she is able to act upon her innermost feelings.
Every time I used to see him, I would feel all warm inside. My heart would begin to beat so quickly and loudly I felt as though everyone around me could hear it. It always seemed like I made such a fool of myself whenever he was around. I had trouble removing the smile from my face, all my words seemed to slur, and the few words that didn’t slur were not really what I mean to say. He was my 12th grade trigonometry teacher Mr. Evans.
I went through my senior year of high school the same shy, naïve Korean girl I had always been. That was two years ago, and I have slept with two different guys since my first time with Brenda and Brad (read my previous story “Summer of Awakenings”). One of the guys had blonde hair and looked a lot like Brad, while the other guy had really dark hair and looked a little like Tom Cruise (not as cute though). Still to this day, my crush on Mr. Evans never really ever left my mind like most crushes do.
Everything about that crush had been taboo. He was my teacher; an adult nearly twice my age (33), married, and even had a daughter. I was just one of his many students, only 17, and still considered a child. Mr. Evans was also a black man. Now I never really considered myself a racist before, but I don’t think I ever got past the fact that he was black. In fact, it was probably one of the reasons I was so attracted to him.
Mr. Evans stood about 6’3 and was built like a football player. I later found out he had played running back in college, but badly tore the ACL in his left knee and never played football again. He did, however, continue to stay in great physical shape and coached our high school football team. That is probably why I went to every home game; to see him. He was quite simply the best looking man I’ve ever seen.
Over the past couple of years, I have fantasized and even dreamt about Mr. Evans and I being together. Last weekend, a friend of mine asked me if I wanted to attend a big party she had heard about over in Riverside. Usually, we only go to parties on campus (USC), but lately I had been in a dating rut and decided to go with her.