Appreciated what you have. That is the lesson that I hope to pass on to those of you who read this. What I relay to you in my text is not a glamorous story, something that I am proud of, nor is it an erotic tale. I am taking the time to write about what happened to me as a warning to the other white husbands may be heading down the same path that I have walked. There are seemingly so many white men cruising the internet seeking and reading tales of the cheating white wife, wives gone black, and cuckolded husbands. Those of you reading this take my story for what it is intended - as a warning. The realization and reality of the wish for a Black Stud (or anyone else for that matter) to sex or breed your wife can be very harsh. What follows is what I recently experienced.
My wife and I are in our early 40s. We had been married for 20 years and had a very strong marriage. We had both been faithful to each other since we met immediately after college. We dated only a few months before becoming engaged, and we married about a year later. My wife was an attractive, shy, and seemingly innocent young woman when I met her. We were instantly drawn to each other and have been inseparable since we met. After I had already fallen for her, but before we were engaged, I learned that prior to meeting me she had dated several Black Men while she was in college. Worse yet, that she had been impregnated by one and had his child. She gave him custody of this child, and she never saw the child again.
When I learned of her past, I was quietly disturbed by these facts. Where I grew up, white women dating Black Men was heavily frowned upon. If my friends of family learned of my future wife's past, they would view her in an unfavorable light. I also feared what they would think of me for loving a woman who had sexed and been bred by Black Men. As I have stated, I had already fallen for her. I followed my heart and acted as if it was not a big deal. We loved each other -- and we both had pasts. I told her that we should keep her past our secret. Of course, her family already knew the story, but it was not something that they ever spoke of. That obstacle out of the way, we married and lived our lives together happily for many years -- until last year.
I do not understand the exact reason why, but about two years ago, I started to become obsessed with my wife's past with Black Men. Maybe it was because I had a lot of time on my hands since I was between jobs. During this time, my self-confidence began to wane. For reasons still unknown to me, I started thinking about her having that Black child. I began to sulk about us, after all these years, not having any children of our own. I felt inadequate and started to believe that my wife was secretly thinking of her former Black Lovers during our increasingly less frequent sex sessions.
A factor in why I may have begun to have these thoughts is that a few years after we married, we discovered that I am medically unable to have children. Still, despite this, my wife never complained and stayed with me. She did this even though I know she very badly wanted to have a family. Her loyalty and faithfulness to me should have made me value her more, but I was too self-absorbed. She had always stood by me. I think that my loss of self-confidence during my layoff, the surplus of time, and my idle mind set the conditions for the disaster that followed.
After we re-located to a new city in order for me to start my next career, I was sent on an extended business trip out of town by my new company. I had a lot of time on my hands during the evenings, and found myself surfing interracial web sites and adult yahoo groups. The more I read of these white women being sexed and want wanting to be bred by Black Man, the more I became insecure and angry about my wife's past. I cannot explain or justify these feelings, but I can only tell you that is what I felt. Eventually and gradually more increasingly, I began exchanging email with members on these sites. Specifically, I sought out Black Men and began to ask them if they would be interesting in sexing or breeding my wife.
I received responses from most of the Black Men I wrote to. Some of the responses were very over the top, and I knew my wife would never go for them. I also received a few extremely polite responses which indicated discretion on the part of this pool of Black Men. One in particular, Michael, stood out and seemed especially promising. He was not pushy, was intelligent, and he lived about an hour from us. He was close enough to do what I fantasized about but not too close to be suffocating.
Over time, I relayed to him many details about my wife and out relationship. I told him that I would be away from home for several months and that he would have ample opportunity to gradually gain my wife's confidence and ultimately hopefully turn her back to Black. He understood the need for discretion and that I did not want her to know that I was behind this. I provided him my wife's email address and a cover story to make contact with my wife. I was excited about the prospect and thought his chances of bedding my wife were good.
He emailed her with a simple note which informed her that he was a polite, nice, Black Man and he asked her if she was interested in exchanging emails with him. Eventually, Michael wrote me and stated that she did not reply. He asked me for more details to help him get a response. I eagerly did as he asked, and I waited. I did not hear back from Michael for about two weeks. His next response would be a big wake up call for me.
Early one morning, I anxiously checked my email from my hotel room. My heart pounded with anticipation when I saw a note from him. This could be good news. I opened the email. What I read gave me chills. While Michael had learned a great amount of personal information regarding me, my wife, what I asked him to do to my white wife; I had absolutely no idea of who Michael really was or what his background was. I did not know that much about computers and the internet. I did not realize that on the internet he had access to and could use an anonymous email account, remailers, and IP tracker while corresponding with me.
Although I had not provided him our last name telephone number, or home address, I had relayed to him our first names, city we currently lived, where we had lived, exactly what my wife looked like, her likes and dislikes, and other information that could be used to piece together who my wife and I really are, where we lived, and where we work. With the information I had provided him and that he could easily find on his own, it was only a matter of him doing a bit more work on the internet to uncover who we really are. I never saw this coming.
