To any American readers:
Apologies in advance for my attempt at putting a Southern accent into prose.
*
"Hey Alice!" Heather, the new editor shouted across the office, "You like that singer... Hank Brooklyn, don't you?"
I looked up from my PC smiled and nodded in her direction.
"You can have this if you want," she continued shouting, "It's just come in the post."
Heather was waving a CD and what looked like a T-Shirt in the air for me and everyone else to see.
I saved my article on a new gardening centre and walked to the other end of the local newspaper office that I worked in.
"Coffee?" she asked as she handed me the CD.
"Please," I mumbled as I checked the track listing. It was a Greatest Hits album from a Soul singer called Hank Brooklyn who'd I'd been a fan of when I was a teenager in the late 70's.
"He's doing a tour next month with a load of other old farts and I've been asked to interview him on Friday." Heather laughed as she handed me the coffee cup. "It's not the type of music I like, so you can do it for me if you want."
"Yes please!" I gasped, a little too eagerly, "If that's okay."
Heather shrugged her shoulders, "You like him; I think he's a fat old man – feel free."
I'd worked as a columnist for the Evening News for 7 years; never getting any of the juicy stories or interviews. I usually left that to the younger more ambitious reporters. I was quite satisfied filling in the gardening, cookery and lifestyle articles that the others found boring.
Even if Heather thought that Hank Brooklyn was a 'fat old man', it was a once in a lifetime opportunity for me to meet the man that I'd had a teenage crush on.
I spent the next couple of days researching as much information as I could. Hank was now 62 and had been married four times and had 7 children; his career had peaked between 1978 and 1983 when he had 8 Top 10 singles and two number 1's. A couple of his songs had been used in films during the 90's and recently a couple of young Hip-Hop stars had covered one of his songs and turned it into a worldwide hit; paving the way for the new Greatest Hits package and a short Arena tour alongside several other groups and singers from the 70's and the 80's. Even in his prime he was 'on the large side' but now, judging from the picture in his press release, he must have been 17 or 18 stone!
When I arrived at the 4 star City Centre hotel at 2pm on the Friday afternoon, there were already two other journalists sitting in the lounge waiting their turn. As soon as my coffee arrived a young woman called the taller of the young men up to the room where the interviews were taking place and apologised because Hank was 'running late'.
"I'm sorry about this but everything's been put back about 30 or 40 minutes, so would you like a drink while you're waiting?" She offered, "Beer? Wine?"
"I'll have a large red wine then," the young guy with orange spiky hair whined as he slumped back into his chair.
"I'll have the same, please." I smiled and looked a little embarrassed.
The young lad from a regional Arts magazine bleated and bellyached about being kept waiting by 'some old bloke that he'd never heard of' until the waiter eventually brought the wine to our table.
"I can't be arsed with this," the lad moaned, "you can have mine; I'm going home." With that he stood up and strolled out leaving me next and last in turn to interview the famous Hank Brooklyn.
When Jessica from the Record Company came back 30 minutes later I'd all but finished both glasses of wine.
She looked startled, "Oh! You're alone. Fine; do you want to follow me?"
As we took the lift to the 12th floor she filled me in with a couple of extra details and eventually led me into Hank Brooklyn's suite.
I was giddy with excitement and red wine as I sat on one of the large leather sofas and prepared my tape-recorder and questions.
I don't know if it was the wine or the fact that I was meeting a famous pop star but I suddenly blushed like a schoolgirl when the great man walked into the sitting room.
"Well hellloooow young lay-deee," Hank greeted me, his deep Baritone voice dripping with Tupelo Honey. "Ahm Hank...and you are?"
I stumbled as I stood up and for a split second couldn't remember my own name as he bent forward to kiss me on the cheek.
"Ehm...ehm...I'm Alice from the Evening News!" I eventually blurted out.
"Huh, huh, huh!" He laughed so loud it almost made the room shake.
"You only have 40 minutes because Mr. Brooklyn has to prepare for a TV appearance later tonight." Jessica informed me and then turned to the singer, "reception will call you when the limousine arrives at 7. Can you be ready... please?"
She took my jacket and hung it in a wardrobe then poured us both a glass of champagne from a magnum on a glass table. Hank handed me a glass and waved her away.
As soon as Jessica left the room Hank lent forward and with a twinkle in his deep brown eyes whispered, "Ignore that prissy bitch...you take as long as you like with l'il ole Hank... misseee."
"Thank you," I smiled and shuffled along the sofa to make myself comfortable.
"Huh, huh, huh," the old man laughed, "Ah see's that you dressed nice for Hank."
Confused I looked down to see what he was talking about.
"Oh...my...GOD!" I gasped when I realised that my skirt had ridden up my left leg exposing my stocking top and suspender clasp! I quickly tugged the skirt back into place but Hank was now leaning forward with both of his big hands clutching the diamond encrusted top of his walking stick as he undressed me with his eyes.
"You sure look pretty...Miss Alice," his voice now as deep as a coal shaft, "and sexy too...very, very sexy."
My face was now crimson red and my stomach was turning somersaults.
"Thank you...but can I just ask you a few questions about your career please?" I spluttered.
"Sure you can...little missy," Hank purred like a lion, "but it would be better for me if you came and sat next to Hank. My hearings' not what it used to be."
I smiled and reluctantly edged forward, but my skirt slid up my legs again giving him a second flash of my lace stocking tops.
Hank was beaming as I stood up and straightened my skirt, making sure that I saw the sparkling ruby in his front tooth.
I was still overawed at being in the same room as my teenage hero as I took the handful of steps across the room to sit next to him.
As I sat bedside him I realised that Hank really was as big and fat as the pictures that I'd looked at earlier in the week. He must have been 6ft 3 inches tall, nearly 20 stone and was dressed immaculately in a cream suit with a scarlet silk shirt unbuttoned enough to expose his hairy chest and gold chains. His fat podgy fingers were also covered in gold and diamond rings and he had a huge gold bracelet on one wrist and a watch the size of a dinner plate on the other.
Hank was very professional with his answers but never took his eyes from my chest or legs, as I asked him questions about his music and the tour.
I was a little bit uncomfortable at first, being so close to him, but began to relax as I finished my second glass of champagne.
As I leant over to place my empty glass on the table; I nearly fainted as Hank slowly stroked my back.
"D'ya knows what ah likes most about England? Miss Alice." Hank's husky voice sent a shiver down my spine.
"No, but I bet you're going to tell me," I slurred.
"The pussy," He coolly told me as his fat fingers played with my long blonde tousled hair, "English pussy is soooooo damn fine...and sweet too." He nodded his head as if to agree with himself.
As I shifted back I accidentally dropped my notepad onto the lush carpet as Hank's other hand slid across my chest and gently squeezed my soft breast.
Stunned; I didn't know how to react as I sat frozen like a frightened rabbit as he deftly unbuttoned my white chemise while caressing my neck with his other hand.
"What are you doing?" I naively asked as he pulled the garment from my shoulders.
"Shhhh sugarpie, shhhh," Hank softly voiced; as he unclipped my bra then removed it too, leaving my large white breasts naked to his gaze.
"Oh honey...them titties are just perfect," Hank whispered in his Southern drawl as he pulled me toward him until my nipples were level with his bearded mouth.
