Chapter 10: Lost Down There
Guilt. Shame. Anxiety. Humiliation. All these feelings—amplified by a poisonous hangover—greeted Karen when she woke up in Brandee's hotel room bed the next morning.
"Rise and shine, party girl!" Brandee sang. "What a wonderful wingman you were last night! Weren't those boys yummy?"
Karen rubbed throbbing eyeballs and tried not to recall the previous evening. It began with a wine-soaked dinner. Afterward they went out...
Oh no. Memories too appalling to be true swarmed the married woman's brain:
A dark strip club teeming with hung black dancers. Huge cocks drooping heavily from every crotch, bobbing, flopping, flaunting their mouth-watering appeal. Then somehow she was getting a couch dance. His steely muscles, his manly scent, that colossal manhood all combined to overwhelm her morality. Which led to the unforgivable sin: sucking him off! She had knelt down on the dirty floor of a sex club and orally worshiped a complete stranger's insanely huge hardon.
Worse yet, the black man ejaculated inside Karen's mouth. And she swallowed it. Yes, that happened. Down her throat. A strange albeit inconceivably gorgeous black man's DNA was at this moment swimming inside her body.
Karen groaned in physical and mental agony. Her jaw ached. When she remembered why, another spasm of guilt washed over her. Did she really do those things? Please let it be just a dream.
She wore nothing but blouse and panties. She tried to sit up, but a headache stopped her. Brandee put a Starbucks coffee on the bedside table and moved around the room, nattering about their "epic" evening.
"It's like you were 'dick-matized' last night, amirite? Like hypnotized, except with a dick?" Brandee laughed. "Well, no shame, girlfriend. I was under the same spell myself!"
"Oh, Brandee, how could you?" Karen moaned. "How could you do this to me?"
Brandee swept aside the curtains, admitting an inferno of light.
"'To you'? Don't you mean 'for you'? In the Uber back to the hotel, you said it was the most awesome night of your life." Then she stage whispered: "In fact, think I overheard you tell your dancer you loved him."
"I was drunk! I wasn't in a right state of mind! You're a horrible friend, and you're ruining my life!"
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. Probably just the hangover talking. But don't worry, your BBC BFF has you covered."
She handed Karen the coffee and some pills.
"That's Tylenol, Advil, with a Xanax chaser to take the edge off. Down the hatch like a good girl."
Karen swallowed the medicine, threw herself back on the bed, and covered her face with a pillow. "For the love of God, Brandee, at least close the blinds!"
After she dressed and the coffee and pills took hold, Karen recovered enough to join Brandee for a late breakfast in the hotel restaurant.
Over pancakes and Bloody Marys, Karen confessed everything: her secret enormous dildo purchased behind her husband's back; her obsession with well-endowed black men (well boys, really); even her poorly concealed envy of Brandee's single, promiscuous lifestyle.
"I think that's why I've been such a bitch lately at work," Karen admitted. "I've been taking out my sexual frustrations on you. Ever since that good-looking spa kid hit on me, my life has been in turmoil. It's somehow the greatest thing in the world and the worst, all at the same time."
"We'll it's called jungle
fever
for a reason. It's transmittable. If exposed, you'll likely get it. Once a white woman sees what she's been missing her whole life, it's almost impossible to go back."
"Don't I know it. Before this, I thought my sex life was satisfying."
"So, does that mean Craig's not very, uh, gifted down below?" She wiggled her pinkie.
"Well, I used to think he was average, but now I'm not sure. I didn't have much experience before marriage."
"So, like, what?" She held apart her thumb and forefinger. "Six inches?"
"More like five and a half. On good day."
"Ugh. Can't say I'm surprised. He always had small-dick energy. That thing wouldn't be enough for me to cum from penetration alone."
"No, I never came that way with Craig, or anyone before him, actually.
"So you don't have orgasms at all?"
"No, I do, but only," she lowered her voice, "from like him fingering me or me fingering myself while he, you know, plays with my nipples."
"You realize those are clitoral orgasms, not vaginal ones, right?"
"I do now. I never understood the
huge
difference. My dildo gives me these deep vaginal O's, that
blow my mind
. There's just no comparison. It's like I've discovered a whole new, higher level of sexual experience."
"Like I said, hard to go back."
"Well that's the problem, Brandee. I mean, I was having trouble feeling Craig before this. Now I'm probably so stretched out, there'll be no friction whatsoever, and he'll just be, you know, lost down there."
Eyes moistening, Karen shook her head. "So, I can't keep my husband happy, and on top of that I'm turning into some kind of size-queen freak. It's absolutely appalling. On campus, I compulsively check out every boy's crotch. At night, I'm constantly having sex dreams. All day, I'm perpetually horny. One time, I almost masturbated in the bathroom at work."
Brandee laughed. "Girl, that's why office doors have locks!"
"I'm serious, Brandee. I'm at my wit's end. I don't know what to do."
"Have you tried talking about this with your husband?"
"Craig? On the contrary, I'm trying to protect him from it. With the career slump he's having lately, his ego couldn't handle it."
"You'd be surprised what some men can handle. There are even those," she sipped her drink, "who get excited by the idea of having a cheating wife."
"So I've heard. But that's not Craig. He's no 'cuck' or whatever they're called."
"Ever think maybe he is. And he just doesn't know it yet?"
"Huh?"
Brandee paused. "This is not really public knowledge, and I don't share it often. But it might help you to hear how my marriage to Dennis ended." She wiped her mouth with a napkin. "It all started with that no-dick loser not being able to get it up."
[START FLASHBACK]
BRANDEE'S VOICE OVER:
We were in our late 30s, and still no children.
In bed, Dennis on top of Brandee; he rolls off. Both look disappointed.
V.O.:
He blamed it on the stress of being a police officer, the long hours, the shift work, blah blah blah...
Dennis adjusts his uniform in the mirror. Skinhead haircut, slim-medium build, mustache, trying to look tougher than he is. A tinpot dictator. He goes to work, leaving Brandee's voluptuous figure alone in bed. Under the covers, you can tell she's masturbating.
V.O.:
I tried the usual stuff: sexy lingerie, scented oils, special lube. Nothing worked. And of course Supercop was too macho to ask his doctor for little blue pills.
In bed again, wearing a sexy red-and-black teddy and fishnet stockings, Brandee kneels over Dennis's lifeless dick, sucking and jerking. She sticks a finger up his ass, but he remains soft as putty.
V.O.:
Then I had an idea. I'd search his internet browser! What better way to learn what turns on a man than his jerk-off material, right?
I know, horrible invasion of privacy, but keep in mind, I really wanted a child...Well you'll never guess what I found...