Sigrid's Dilemma

Author's Note: This story is set in the fictional country of Nordland, a small island nation in the North Sea between the UK, Norway and Denmark.

This story is a work of fiction. All characters, events, and places described in this narrative are products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

All comments and feedback is welcome.

HF

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The beeping of the alarm on Sigrid's smartphone awoke her from a deep slumber. Her hand reached out automatically from under the covers to slap at the device on her side table. Her first swing missed, sending her Air Nordland ID tumbling to the floor. The small plastic card, bearing her smiling visage and name: Sigrid Larsen, lay there on the floor, silently observing her second swing connecting with the device, ceasing its annoying beeping.

Her first task of the day complete, she yawned and opened her dark-blue eyes. Stretching her arms in the pale light of her bedroom, she ran her fingers through her tangled chestnut-brown curls. Next to her, her husband of two years, Magnus, grumbled and rolled over, desperately trying to get a few more minutes of sleep.

Sigrid, known as Sigi to all her family and friends, lay there looking at the ceiling for a moment before letting out a deep sigh. She hated the Type C schedules, the long-haul international flights -- she'd be on the go for the next two weeks. Having been a flight attendant for five years for Air Nordland, the national airline for Nordland, the small Nordic island nation nestled in the North Sea, she was used to the long hours, disrupted sleep and a multitude of hotel rooms. Five years earlier, it had seemed exciting, always on the go, another new city to see, different cultures to explore. Now, not so much.

As she swung her feet out of the bed and onto the carpeted floor, she realized that at 28 she was ready for the next stage of her life. Standing up and making her way silently to the bathroom, she reflected that it was this desire that had caused so much friction with Magnus lately. Pushing the door to the bathroom open, she switched on the light and closed the door behind her.

Making her way to the toilet she thought about the discussion they had the night before. She grimaced, as if it could be called a discussion. Her desire to start a family had been shared by Magnus when they were dating and had been solidified by their marriage two year ago. But that had changed, she thought as she reached for the toilet paper. Magnus' career had taken off in the past six months with a promotion at work.

Although Sigrid had initially been overjoyed by his success, the long hours and frequent absences had started to take their toll on their relationship. His job as a marine engineer in one of Nordland's bustling shipyards that supported the extensive oil and gas industry in the country, meant he was frequently travelling, much like her, she mused.

The frequent discussions about starting a family over recent months had all led back to the same couple of issues: their time away, them not being able to commit to a family while they were establishing their careers. Sigrid sighed as she stood up, pulling up her underwear and pajama pants, she'd committed to making a change, why couldn't he? Her recent application to transfer from an operational flight attendant role to a management position, overseeing and coordinating a team of flight attendants, had been accepted.

As soon as the next intake of flight attendants had finished their training course, she would be able to transfer out of her operational role and take up a desk position in the Air Nordland headquarters; she knew she'd still need to fly the occasion route to ensure she maintained her flight status, but being at the headquarters, not flitting around the world, would give her the stability she would need to start a family. If only Magnus would do the same, she mused as she slipped out the bedroom, leaving her husband snoozing in bed.

She passed her graduation picture in the hallway on the way to the kitchen -- a 21-year-old version of herself, standing there in her gown and mortarboard, her face beaming as she held her law degree. Next to her, her parents stood smiling proudly. Her father, the judge, and her mother, the corporate lawyer, had been so proud of her that day. It wasn't until later, that she'd decided she didn't want to pursue a career in law that their pride had changed. I should probably take that picture down, she thought to herself as she continued to the kitchen.

*****

Sigrid was making coffee, when Magnus entered the kitchen, rubbing sleep from his eyes. "Hey Sigi" he said as he made his way towards her, wrapping his arms around her waist and giving her a kiss on the cheek. She stiffened slightly, not all the tension from last night's "discussion" having left her body. Nonetheless, she knew that she needed to do her part to try and make this all work and she relaxed and gave him a little smile.

"Hei Mags," ("Hey Mags,") she said as he moved toward the table. "Kaffe?" ("Coffee?") she asked grabbing another cup. "Takk, det ville vært flott" ("Thanks, that would be great,") he replied as he settled himself at the kitchen table. Sigrid poured the cup of black coffee for him and moved to the table, handing it to him.

"Mags... om i går kveld..." ("Mags...about last night...") she said. He sighed, pushing the coffee away. "Sigi...vi må være realistiske..." ("Sigi...we need to be realistic...")

"Jeg er realistisk," ("I am being realistic,") she replied, a touch of sadness, mixed with frustration, in her voice. "Jeg er forberedt på å ofre, endringer i karrieren min...bare slik at vi kan starte en familie." ("I'm prepared to make sacrifices, changes to my career...just so we can start a family.")

"Se, du er i ferd med å gå bort på en to-ukers syklus," ("Look, you're about to go away on a two-week cycle,") he replied. "Jeg er midt i et stort ombyggingsprosjekt for oljerigg...hvordan kan vi gjøre noe slikt akkurat nå?" ("I'm in the middle of a major oil rig refit project...how can we do something like this right now?") He paused, his expression softening. "Se, jeg sier ikke aldri...bare kanskje ikke nå..." ("Look, I'm not saying never...just maybe not now...")

Sigrid felt an increasing sense of hopelessness rise inside her. The story had been the same for month now, they were too busy, they were always traveling for work, just a little bit longer. She gave Magnus a look of anguish over his words.

"Søknaden min har blitt akseptert, jeg vil gå over til ledelsesstrømmen, akkurat så snart det nye inntaket har fullført opplæringskursene sine...det tar bare et par uker til. Vær så snill, kan vi i det minste tenke på det?" ("My application has been accepted, I'll be moving across to the management stream, just as soon as the new intake has finished their training courses...it'll only be another couple of weeks. Please, can we at least think about it?") she asked, a touch of desperation creeping into her voice.

Magnus's expression tightened, a shadow of concern crossing his face. "Sigi, vi har diskutert dette. Jobben min innebærer mye reising også, og det ville ikke vært rettferdig å bringe et barn inn i en verden der mor eller far knapt er tilstede. Vi må vente litt til." ("Sigi, we've discussed this. My job involves a lot of traveling too, and it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into a world where their mother or father are hardly present. We need to wait a bit longer.")

Sigrid's patience wore thin. "Du har sagt det i flere måneder, Magnus. Hvor lenge venter vi? Jeg vil ikke fortsette å skyve dette tilbake," ("You've been saying that for months, Magnus. How much longer do we wait? I don't want to keep pushing this back,") she snapped.

"Der går du igjen...'Jeg vil ikke fortsette å presse dette tilbake'...dette er alt du... alt om drømmene dine om en perfekt liten familie." ("There you go again...'I don't want to keep pushing this back'...this is all you...all about your dreams of a perfect little family.")

Sigrid's hands clenched into fists at her sides, her nails digging into her palms as she fought to keep her temper in check. "Ja Magnus, de er drømmene mine... og jeg trodde de var dine også!" ("Yes Magnus, they are my dreams...and I thought they were yours too!") she spat bitterly. "Og hva så? Hva om de er drømmene mine?" ("And -- so what? What if they are my dreams?") she demanded, her voice trembling with anger. "Betyr de ikke noe for deg i det hele tatt?" ("Don't they matter to you at all?")

"De gjør," ("They do,") he replied, a gruff expression crossing his face. "Hvorfor tror du jeg jobber så hardt? Jeg prøver å sette oss opp for fremtiden. Gi oss den økonomiske stabiliteten vi trenger for å ha en familie," ("Why do you think I'm working so hard? I'm trying to set us up for the future. Give us the financial stability we need to have a family,") he said, his face growing redder and redder with each word. "Jeg går ikke bare rundt i verden og skyver en vogn..." ("I'm not just galivanting around the world pushing a trolley...") he paused, realizing what he was saying.

"Så, er det det du tror jeg gjør?" ("So, is that what you think I do?") she spat, bitterness dripping from every word. "Bare flyr rundt på stedet og deler ut te og kaffe?" ("Just flying around the place, handing out tea and coffee?")

"Sigi...jeg mente det ikke sånn..." ("Sigi...I didn't mean it like that...") he said, trying to backpedal as he saw her dark-blue eyes flash wild with anger.

"Så, hva mente du, ikke sant?" ("So, what did you mean, huh?") she demanded. "Er det ikke bra nok for deg å ha en flyvertinne som kone?" ("Is having a flight attendant as a wife not good enough for you?")

"Se, jeg mente det ikke sånn," ("Look, I didn't mean it like that,") he said. "Jeg mener, det er en god jobb, en god karriere, men du er alltid borte...du kunne ha hatt en karriere som ville ha deg her hjemme." ("I mean, it's a good job, a good career, but you're always away...you could have had a career that would have you here at home.")

"Du mener en juridisk karriere, ikke sant? Bruker tiden min på å sitte i et avlukke et sted eller sitter fast i retten? Dere begynner å høres ut som foreldrene mine!" ("You mean a legal career, right? Spending my time sitting in some cubicle somewhere or stuck in court? You're starting to sound like my parents!") she hissed, the anger and resentment that had been growing within her now boiling to the surface.

"Sigi, jeg sa ikke det..." ("Sigi, I didn't say that...") he replied, trying to calm her down. "Men...men, ja...noe sånt, det ville være gode penger, du ville være hjemme, vi kunne stifte familie..." ("But...but, yes...something like that, it would be good money, you'd be home, we could start a family...")

Sigrid shook her head, a mixture of anger and disappointment. "Jeg trodde du støttet meg i mine avgjørelser. Jeg har støttet deg på alle dine," ("I thought you supported me on my decisions. I've supported you on all of yours,") she whispered, bitterly.

Magnus's response was immediate, his tone sharp with irritation. "Jeg har støttet deg hele veien. Drømmene dine ... dine avgjørelser, de betyr noe for meg, Sigrid, men du må være realistisk. Jobben din er ikke akkurat gunstig for å oppdra et barn. Jetting rundt i verden, uforutsigbare timer. Det er ikke rettferdig mot ungen." ("I have supported you every step of the way. Your dreams...your decisions, they matter to me, Sigrid, but you have to be realistic. Your job isn't exactly conducive to raising a child. Jetting around the world, unpredictable hours. It's not fair to the kid.")

"Men Magnus, jeg har fortalt deg det før. Min opprykk til en lederrolle vil gi oss den fleksibiliteten vi trenger for å stifte familie," ("But Magnus, I've told you before. My promotion to a management role will give us the flexibility we need to start a family,") she insisted, her voice tinged with desperation. "Jeg skal være hjemme...med base i Nordhaven...jeg trenger bare å fly for å beholde flystatusen min...vær så snill...vi kan gjøre dette..." ("I'll be home...based in Nordhaven...I'll only have to fly to keep my flight status...please...we can do this...") she said, almost begging. "Vi har snakket om dette i flere måneder. Det er på tide å ta neste steg." ("We've been talking about this for months. It's time to take the next step.")

"Din flystatus...se, du vil være borte...og gjett så hvem som må passe på babyen mens du vandrer rundt i verden...jeg, det er den..." ("Your flight status...see, you will be away...and then guess who will have to look after the baby while you're traipsing around the world...me, that's who...") he replied, his voice harsh with anger. "Så jeg må sette karrieren min på vent mens du gjør det?" ("So, I have to put my career on hold while you do that?")

Sigrid felt a surge of anger, "Så, hva? Synes du karrieren min ikke er viktig nok? At jeg må gi opp alt...så du kan ha karrieren din? Å fikse båter!" ("So, what? You think my career isn't important enough? That I have to give up everything...so you can have your career? Fixing boats!")

Magnus's response was swift and dismissive, his tone brimming with condescension as he spoke. "Fikser båter, ikke sant? Vel, la oss snakke om deg og flyvertinnejobben din, Sigrid. Du oppfører deg som om det er en stor prestasjon, men la oss være ekte her. Det er ikke akkurat en karriere å skryte av." ("Fixing boats, huh? Well then, let's talk about you and your flight attendant job, Sigrid. You act like it's some big accomplishment, but let's be real here. It's not exactly a career to brag about.")

Sigrid's blood boiled at his words, her frustration giving way to anger as she struggled to contain her rising Nordic temper. "Hvordan våger du, Magnus?" ("How dare you, Magnus,") she seethed, her voice trembling with indignation. "Jobben min er like viktig som din, om ikke mer. Jeg jobber hardt hver dag for å sikre sikkerheten og komforten til passasjerene våre, og alt du kan gjøre er å forkleine meg for det. Respekterer du i det hele tatt det jeg gjør?" ("My job is just as important as yours, if not more. I work hard every day to ensure the safety and comfort of our passengers, and all you can do is belittle me for it. Do you even respect what I do?")

Magnus's dismissive tone persisted, "Det handler ikke om respekt, Sigrid. Det handler om virkeligheten. Du lever i en fantasiverden." ("It's not about respect, Sigrid. It's about reality. You're living in a fantasy world.")

Sigrid's anger flared. "Fantasiverden? Jeg jobber hardt, Magnus. Jeg bidrar til livet vårt, like mye som deg. Kanskje mer, med tanke på at du ikke engang kan støtte drømmene mine." ("Fantasy world? I work hard, Magnus. I contribute to our life, just as much as you do. Maybe more, considering you can't even support my dreams.")

Magnus scoffed, "Drømmer? Kaller du dette en drøm? Flyr rundt som et barn som leker seg." ("Dreams? You call this a dream? Flying around like a child playing make-believe.")

Sigrid's patience finally snapped. "Du er så forbanna egoistisk, Magnus. Det handler alltid om deg og hva du vil. Du bryr deg ikke om drømmene mine eller hva som er viktig for meg." ("You're so damn selfish, Magnus. It's always about you and what you want. You don't care about my dreams or what's important to me,") she yelled.

"Det er ikke det jeg sier, Sigrid. Jeg er bare...praktisk. Vi trenger stabilitet," ("That's not what I'm saying, Sigrid. I'm just...being practical. We need stability,") Magnus insisted.

"Nei, Magnus, det er ikke 'vi'. Det er deg," ("No, Magnus, it's not 'we.' It's you,") Sigrid retorted. "Du tenker bare på deg selv og din karriere. Hva med det jeg vil?" ("You only think about yourself and your career. What about what I want?")

Just then their heated discussion was interrupted by the ringing of Magnus's phone. Glancing at the screen, he saw it was his boss and he turned to Sigrid and said, "Jeg må ta dette." ("I need to take this.")

Before she could answer, Magnus had stood and answered the phone. "Hei, Henrik?" ("Hello, Henrik?") he said. Sigrid could hear the voice of Magnus's boss from the phone. "Magnus...vi har et problem med Telemark-1965 riggen..." ("Magnus...we have a problem with the Telemark-1965 rig...") Magnus quickly disappeared into his study, closing the door behind him.

Sigrid huffed angrily, feeling the weight on her shoulders of the decisions and choices that she and Magnus had made. Now they couldn't even have a conversation without it turning into a shouting argument. She sat there for several minutes, trying her best to calm down.

Eventually, she glanced at the clock and realized she needed to start getting ready to head to the airport. The Nordhaven International Airport, the location of the Air Nordland headquarters and facilities, was on the other side of Nordhaven and despite its relatively small size, she always seemed to get caught in traffic. With an angry scowl, she stood up from the table and made her way to their bathroom to get ready.

Entering their bathroom, she slipped off her pajamas and underwear, dropping both into the dirty clothes basket in the corner. Turning on the water in the shower, she saw her reflection in the mirror; her body stood at just over 5'5" with her face framed by wavy chestnut-brown hair. Her dark-blue eyes, set above a cute nose, sparkled when she laughed and darkened when she was angry. She noticed the dark, intense gaze in her eyes, a sure sign she was still wildly angry with Magnus.

Her skin had a pale complexion thanks to her Nordic heritage, and she realized from her dating experiences in her youth that she wasn't considered stunningly beautiful in a supermodel sort of way, more of a friendly girl next door type of pretty. Fortunately, she had a lithe, slim body thanks to the inheritance of good genes from her parents and her regular sessions in the gym and pool. Despite the dull ache of anger that still burned brightly within her, she frowned slightly as she glanced at her hips - have I put on some weight, she thought to herself?

Although she had a slim frame, she had been blessed with a healthy pair of pink-capped 32D breasts on her chest. These had been both a source of pleasure for her and her partners over the years, and frustration when selecting clothing and bras, especially for her role as a flight attendant where she had to stand for long periods of time.

Stepping into the shower, she let the warm water wash over her pale body. The water soothed the anger that was still boiling within her and helped her relax and calm down. She sighed as she reached for the body wash, why were things so difficult with Magnus lately? She scrubbed her body with her loofah, feeling the tingling sensation of freshly scrubbed skin. Reaching for her Lumiére de Nordland shampoo and conditioner she washed and conditioned her hair, knowing it was going to be a busy couple of weeks and she needed to look after herself as best she could.

A few minutes of work with her razor left her legs feeling smooth and she paused, thinking about her patch of soft brown curls that covered her pubic mound. Her schedule for the next fortnight was taking her all around the world, she might as well take care of this now while she had the chance. A few more minutes of work and her patch of pubic hair was now trimmed into a neat triangle that adorned her mons pubis.

Turning off the water and stepping from the shower, she dried herself off and wrapped herself in a towel. Moving to the sink, Sigrid brushed her teeth meticulously, the first part of her almost-automatic routine that she had adopted when she had started work as a flight attendant years earlier. Next, she reached for her birth control pill, swallowing it with a sip of water before proceeding to her next task.