Seriously, as much as I love men, sometimes they have completely unrealistic expectations of us women. We're not perfect and never claimed to be, but guys have yet to get the memo on that. How else would you explain my boo, my darling lover Tyrone Ferguson's reaction to me when I got up from his bed in the middle of the night to take a shit?
My name is Amina Alzahrani, and I'm a Saudi Arabian woman living in the City of Ottawa, Ontario. I study bio-medical engineering at the University of Ottawa, and I'm madly in love with Tyrone, an African-American stud whom I met in Buffalo, New York. The brother treats me great, he's wonderful in the sack and we get along famously. Problem is the dude is a little too unrealistic for me...
I got up from the bed, took a look at Tyrone who lay slumbering, smiled and walked to the nearby washroom. I pulled down my panties, sat down on the toilet and sighed in relief as the piss I'd been holding shot out of me like water from a cannon. Seriously, my vagina felt pleasurably sore as a result. I wasn't done yet, though. I farted, and then took a dump. Nothing unusual there, women take dumps daily.
I finished my business, wiped my ass, flushed the toilet twice for good measure and then washed my hands with soap and water. I readjusted my clothes, which consisted of a sleeveless blue T-shirt and crimson panties, and got back to bed. I found Tyrone wide awake, looking at me with an odd look on his face. Did you just fart? he asked, wrinkling his nose.
I looked Tyrone up and down, with my hands on my hips. Nope I just took a dump, I said very smugly, looking into Tyrone's soulful brown eyes. Tyrone sighed, rolled his eyes and shook his head. Pulling the covers, he tried to go back to sleep. I wasn't having it. We got a problem? I asked him, rather pointedly I might ask. Nope we're cool sweetie, Tyrone said, flashing me a fake smile. I cocked an eyebrow, bit my lip and nodded.
Men, I thought, rolling my eyes as I tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep because I was too busy thinking up ways to get back at Tyrone Ferguson. My sweet chocolate prince, if you can't stand the fact that your favorite voluptuous middle-eastern goddess has to take a shit once in a while, then you can't get a shot at my ass. That big, round and juicy Saudi derriere of mine isn't just for sitting and being kissed, licked, fondled and fucked. I also take a shit with it at least once a day. Understand?
Lying next to me, Tyrone Ferguson snored louder than a herd of camels. I'm from Saudi Arabia, and where I come from, that's saying something. Brother was loud, man! I closed my eyes, hard. That's something else about Tyrone that pisses me off. His damn snoring. I snore too, don't get me wrong, but Tyrone's snores really take the damn cake. I've taken to wearing earplugs just so I can get some sleep.