Seriously, as much as I love men, sometimes they have completely unrealistic expectations of us women. We're not perfect and never claimed to be, but guys have yet to get the memo on that. How else would you explain my boo, my darling lover Tyrone Ferguson's reaction to me when I got up from his bed in the middle of the night to take a shit?
My name is Amina Alzahrani, and I'm a Saudi Arabian woman living in the City of Ottawa, Ontario. I study bio-medical engineering at the University of Ottawa, and I'm madly in love with Tyrone, an African-American stud whom I met in Buffalo, New York. The brother treats me great, he's wonderful in the sack and we get along famously. Problem is the dude is a little too unrealistic for me...
I got up from the bed, took a look at Tyrone who lay slumbering, smiled and walked to the nearby washroom. I pulled down my panties, sat down on the toilet and sighed in relief as the piss I'd been holding shot out of me like water from a cannon. Seriously, my vagina felt pleasurably sore as a result. I wasn't done yet, though. I farted, and then took a dump. Nothing unusual there, women take dumps daily.
I finished my business, wiped my ass, flushed the toilet twice for good measure and then washed my hands with soap and water. I readjusted my clothes, which consisted of a sleeveless blue T-shirt and crimson panties, and got back to bed. I found Tyrone wide awake, looking at me with an odd look on his face. Did you just fart? he asked, wrinkling his nose.
I looked Tyrone up and down, with my hands on my hips. Nope I just took a dump, I said very smugly, looking into Tyrone's soulful brown eyes. Tyrone sighed, rolled his eyes and shook his head. Pulling the covers, he tried to go back to sleep. I wasn't having it. We got a problem? I asked him, rather pointedly I might ask. Nope we're cool sweetie, Tyrone said, flashing me a fake smile. I cocked an eyebrow, bit my lip and nodded.
Men, I thought, rolling my eyes as I tried to go back to sleep. I couldn't fall asleep because I was too busy thinking up ways to get back at Tyrone Ferguson. My sweet chocolate prince, if you can't stand the fact that your favorite voluptuous middle-eastern goddess has to take a shit once in a while, then you can't get a shot at my ass. That big, round and juicy Saudi derriere of mine isn't just for sitting and being kissed, licked, fondled and fucked. I also take a shit with it at least once a day. Understand?
Lying next to me, Tyrone Ferguson snored louder than a herd of camels. I'm from Saudi Arabia, and where I come from, that's saying something. Brother was loud, man! I closed my eyes, hard. That's something else about Tyrone that pisses me off. His damn snoring. I snore too, don't get me wrong, but Tyrone's snores really take the damn cake. I've taken to wearing earplugs just so I can get some sleep.
Morning came, and I woke up with a splitting headache and hazy eyes. All the signs of a night spent without sleep. I had class at eleven o'clock and again at three, and then I'd head to the call center where I work for an overnight shift. I work for a call center for one of Canada's largest banks, located not far from the Blair Station in the east end of Ottawa. The job pays seventeen bucks an hour, which isn't bad at all since I'm still in university.
I showered, and got dressed. Today I felt like dressing up traditional, something I rarely do. I put on a long-sleeved red sweater, along with stylish black silk skirt, black leather boots, and a simple black hijab. I seldom wear the hijab anymore since I no longer consider myself Muslim. I believe in Allah, the one true God, but not the tenets of Islam. Too much politics and division among Muslims today. The reason why Islam can never conquer the West is because Muslims are too busy fighting each other.
I was right about to leave the house when Tyrone finally woke up. Good morning sexy lady, Tyrone said, getting up out of bed and looking me up and down with a wolfish grin on his dark, handsome face. As Salam Alaikum Tyrone I was just about to leave, I said with a smile. Tyrone looks good in the buff, his gorgeous chocolate-hued body glistening and rippling in the morning sunlight. My chocolate Adonis.
Come here sexy, Tyrone said, and walked up to me, and my heart skipped a beat. For Tyrone is a vision of masculine beauty. Tall, broad-shouldered and strongly built, with a handsome face, and most importantly, a long and thick, uncut dick swinging from between his legs. Tyrone pulled me into his arms and kissed me. I kissed him back, and was about to tell him that I had to get to work but then Tyrone started caressing me and, um, I forgot what I was about to say...