"The Black community doesn't allow Black men the freedom of sexual self-expression, we all have to fit into what the community demands or we're toast," Bilal Jones said softly. The six-foot-tall, burly and dark-skinned African American stud leaned back on the chair, and looked at his good friend Samia Lahoud. The conflict and sadness that Samia saw on her good friend's face astonished her. That poor man, she thought, saddened.
Bilal had come to Samia's place straight from his downtown office at the headquarters of the Canada Revenue Agency. Decked out in a dark gray business suit over a blue silk shirt, dark gray silk pants and those Black Timberland boots that he wore everywhere, Bilal looked good. The confused look on his face worried Samia. If only he'd stop looking and acting like he's going to a funeral, Samia thought, a bit annoyed by Bilal's demeanor.
A few hours earlier, Samia Lahoud returned home after a business trip to the City of Toronto for her employer, the KPMG corporation. They sent her to check on a newly acquired subsidiary in the Greater Toronto Area. She'd been looking forward to some rest and relaxation after such a tough assignment. Samia looked forward to the Lebanese Festival which would be held at the Maronite Church of Ottawa in the East End in a few days.
"The Festival is going to rock," Samia said to herself, smiling, as she lay in bed, tired after her business trip. She was about to nod off when she got a call from a rather frantic Bilal. The brother apparently had a fallout of sorts with his girlfriend Hannah Anglade, and needed her help. Apparently, it simply could not wait. Samia to the rescue, the thirty-something gal thought, both peeved and concerned for her friend.
"With Black women being so sexually liberated and outspoken, you'd think they would allow Black men the same freedom," Samia replied, shaking her head. Bilal's words kind of rattled her. She was in no mood to hear about his sexual proclivities, that's for sure. Samia considered Bilal her best friend, but the handsome brother had a habit of quite simply oversharing when it came to his sexual exploits.
Samia thought of how Bilal regaled her with tales of how he'd banged the hell out of Nancy Wu, a big-bottomed young Asian woman who was her roommate during grad school. If Bilal hadn't sounded so distraught over the phone, Samia would have made up a lame excuse to avoid the heart-to-heart. Too late for that, Samia thought. Bilal was in her living room, in the process of unburdening himself...
Samia, an out and proud bisexual Lebanese-Canadian woman who understood all too well that sexuality could be quite complicated when culture, religion and race got thrown into it, tried to extend to her friend Bilal all the sympathy she could muster. Breakups were never easy, especially after a long-term relationship came to an abrupt end. Samia knew this from painful experience...
Heeding Samia's words, Bilal nodded, and paused. For a moment, his gaze wandered across the room. Bilal looked around the lovely townhouse which had been Samia's abode for as long as he'd known her. He could recall numerous parties there, some of them quite fun. Located in the heart of the Glebe area of Ottawa, Ontario, the place was stylish and neat, part of old town renovated for the twenty-first century.
"There's nothing logical about how people feel in my community, especially when it comes to sexuality, that's what I'm single again, " Bilal added dryly. Hannah's departure took a piece of Bilal's soul, that much was evident. Samia nodded, knowing that Bilal, who is out as a bisexual man, tends to downplay it when around people of African descent. For Bilal, it was a simple matter of survival. Samia had long stopped judging him for being a man of many worlds.
Bilal thought of Hannah Anglade, the tall, gorgeous young Jamaican woman he'd been dating for the past year. He had high hopes for her, and wanted to start a family with her, but Hannah simply couldn't accept his other side. In the end, Hannah returned the engagement ring that Bilal had given her, for she simply could not fathom marrying a man who swung both ways. Bilal had sworn to Hannah that he'd be faithful to her, but she ditched him anyways.
Truth be told, Samia definitely saw the split coming, even though Bilal desperately tried to convince himself that he and Hannah Anglade were meant to be. When one meets a couple, Samia surmised, one must always recognize that one half is usually more committed to the relationship than the other. From the get go, Bilal had been doing the heavy lifting in his relationship with Hannah, and in the end, it did him no good.
Samia knew Jamaican culture to be staunchly opposed to bisexuals, gays, lesbians and others. For a bisexual Black man like Bilal to try to build a life with a Jamaican woman, someone programmed to despise him simply for being who and what he is, well, this spoke to the level of naivete that continued to plague him. When a person looks for trouble with such perseverence, he or she usually ends up finding it...
"I see," Samia said, even though, she did not quite understand what Bilal meant. She just wanted to be there for her friend, racial and sexual politics be damned. The two of them had known each other ever since their halcyon days at Carleton University. Back then, Bilal was a newcomer to the City of Ottawa, Ontario, by way of Chicago, Illinois. Samia, a native of Sudbury, Ontario, was quite taken with Bilal from the get-go. As it turns out, the two of them had a lot in common.
