You should really read Sam part 2 before reading this.
After Sam's tale of betrayal and non-consensual drugged sex, I was more certain that I wanted to marry her. I asked her to marry me on Thanksgiving and we spent the Christmas break visiting each other's families. Our plan was to marry in June or July, and we had both agreed to a small wedding which made neither of our families happy. We ended up on a compromise with a small ceremony in a chapel and our parents could do what they wanted with the reception. Both our moms went to work like they were planning the D-day invasion.
Sam was always apologetic about not telling me earlier about the event at the frat house. I am not sure if there is a "best time" to tell your significant other about such a tragedy. The frat house event did not bother me, but some of Sam's other sexual adventures made me a little uneasy. To make matters more complicated, Sam decided that we should both me more open about our past sex lives to ensure there were no more secrets. My sex life took about 15 minutes. Although, I had about a dozen lovers, there was never anything kinky and none of those relationships lasted very long.
Sam's stories usually came after sex when we were high on pot. Maybe something triggered a memory during our lust. Those stories would frequently end up with the two of us fucking again. Since the stories were disjointed and we were high, I had trouble putting Sam's sex life in order. I'm not sure why it troubled me, maybe because I'm a mathematician and things need to flow, and they didn't.
I reviewed some basic facts:
First, Sam did not attempt to have sex until prom night a few months after she turned 18. Neither she nor her lover knew what they were doing, and the sex was horrible. Fearing that it was her fault, she was afraid to have sex again.
Second, based on advice from her mother, she began looking for someone older and began an affair with a record store owner, Jackson. He was at least ten years older than she was and the affair began in June and ended in August went she left for college.
Third, Sam had a normal sex life during her first semester at college. Normal for a girl away from home the first time. She dated several who she had sex with, most of which were one-night stands. She certainly had a lot more lovers than I did.
Fourth, she actually met Cheryl (her nemesis from the frat house incident) during the spring semester of her freshman year and not in her sophomore year as I had thought. They did not become roommates until her sophomore year, but they started a sexual relationship in their freshman year. Cheryl was not the only woman Sam had slept with. I sometimes fantasized about watching Sam with another woman.
At times, I worried that Sam was really a lesbian and would leave me for another woman. Other times I worried that she had probably been with better lovers than me and would eventually grow dissatisfied with my skills.
The missing piece in the flow was what happened between high school and college when she was having the affair with Jackson, the record store owner. The things she did with Jackson were hard to comprehend.
I am going to try and summarize what Sam told me about that summer into one coherent story. Tales of her relationship were told over many nights after smoking some pot. So, the best I can recollect, she told me the following:
"During high school, I was discovering music and the math in music. My friends and I would spend a lot of time in the local record store. I took notice of the guy who owned and ran the store, and I began spending some free time helping him out in the store. Jackson was about ten years older than me. I also noticed that a lot of other girls and women would come in and flirt with him and I would see them leave his apartment over the store the next morning. Jackson had many lovers; old and young, white and black. So, I decided to shed my baggy clothes and wore make-up for the first time. Jackson noticed right away."
"One night after closing up the store, Jackson invited me to come over to his place and listen to some music. Here was my chance to have sex with someone who knew what he was doing, and I froze. Then I started blabbering and then I was crying. I had this vision that this really cool guy was going to try to have sex with me, and it would be a disaster like last time. Jackson was dismayed, and kept saying it was okay, he'll just give me a ride home."